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30 Q-Llving Q-NOTES • AUGUST 28 . 2004 Open 5:00 p.m. to 2-.00 a.m. Every Nile AlliUloard for NighUy Specials! Monday: Beer $1, Rum Drinks $2 Tuesday: Beer $1, Bourbon Drinks $2 Thursday: Can Budweiser $1 Friday: Coors Light $1.75, All Rum Drinks $2 Miller HiLiteSI Saturday: Roiling Rook $1.75, All Vodka Drinks $2 Sunday: House Drinks $2 Pool Tournament Evem Tuesday aTlrarsday $50 Gash Prize SSYearjy NEVER a COVER for Members! f MesnR The place for altematire life styles Oi*E]sr 6213 Market Street (Next to Thee View) Wilmington, NC 28405 910-799-1600 Featuring: Good Music, Pool, Cozy Setting Nightly $1.00 Beer Friday & Saturday: No cover Wednesday: Ladies night ... $2.00 well drinks Thursday: Guy's night out ... $2-00 well drinks Sundays: $1.00 vodka drinks Open M-Sat 2:00-2:30 am Sundays 4:00 pm - until ? ut in print Good marriage reading Hall by J.S. Most people probably never expected to see state-sanctioned, same-sex marriages in their lifetime. Perhaps it was a surprise that Massachusetts became the first state in'the Union to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry. It would be a massive understatement to say that the Massachusetts Supreme judicial Court’s rul ing has ignited a firestorm — within the gay community as well as mainstream society. While some couples have struggled in court to get the “validity” of their relation ships recognized by law, other critics have argued that marriage is an institution, and we all know what kind of people live in institutions. These people reject others’ desire to take part in a social convention with such a longstanding tradition of het erosexism and misogyny. Some people see same-sex marriage as a long-overdue right, while others think it’ll mean the end of the world. Both “Why Marriage Matters" and “Same-Sex Marriage: Pro and Con: A Reader” are designed for readers whose views lie somewhere in the middle. Both Evan Wolfson and Andrew Sullivan offer compelling arguments for same-sex civil marriage, but will their eloquence tri umph over fear and hatred, two of human ity’s strongest emotions? Sullivan describes Wolfson as “the most tireless advocate on the issue” of same- sex marriage and in “Why Marriage Matters,” Wolfson articulately and methodically illus trates his argument why gay and les bian couples should be allowed to marry. He’s been involved with this battle for over 20 years, and founded the grassroots organization Freedom to Marry. While most people equate marriage with church ceremonies, Wolfson points out that “the Catholic Church had nothing to do with marriage during its first 1000 years,” and how this battle has nothing to do with changing reli gious institutions’ views on same-sex mar riage. “This civil rights movement is about equal legal rights, not diverse religious rites.” He also takes great care in illustrating how anti-gay marriage foes’ “doom and gloom” arguments closely parallel those used in the past by those who opposed mixed-race marriages. The world didn’t end after those court judgments, and eventually such unions gained greater acceptance. After debunking such fallacies as mar riage being solely about procreation, whether children would be harmed from being raised by gay parents and why using another word instead of marriage won’t do, Wolfson examines the legal fragility of Vermont-style civil unions, which have “no assured portability” (i.e.. other states don’t ■ have to honor them). As he succinctly says, “families should not have to see their legal status and protections sputter in and out like cell phone serv ice.” Ultimately (and rather opti mistically), Wolfson predicts that gay mar riage will become a reality once more and more heterosexuals are exposed to actual gay couples rather than hypothetical ones. Having formed these connections, he believes that good-natured heterosexuals will be less likely to deprive actual friends and neighbors of their civil rights. We shall see. “Same-Sex Marriage: Pro and Con,” on the other hand, gathers a variety of positive and negative views on the matter so that readers can decide the issue for themselves. An outspoken advocate for gay marriage, Sullivan admits, “there are plenty of senti ments here with which I vigorously disagree. Nevertheless, 1 have attempted to estab lish some semblance of balance.” He notes a difficulty in gathering anti-gay marriage rhetoric, because until recently, most oppo nents didn’t seem to feel their arguments needed articulation. Sullivan assem bles a diverse batch of essays, TV program excerpts, interviews, testimonies and even a book review in these covers. Several pieces directly challenge Sullivan’s views and articles (many of which are included herein). Lesbian conservative Tammy Bruce “respectjsj the majority of Americans and their opinion that marriage should be defined as between one man and one woman”; Camille Paglia expresses her ambivalence about the heterosexual mar riage paradigm working for gay men; and while Ann Landers supported many gay rights, she drew the line at endorsing same-sex marriage. Aptly, this collection ends with a telling quote from Rep. Cathy Voyer, uttered during testimony before Vermont’s House judiciary Committee: “this whole thing is a minefield.” “Pro and Con” first came out in 1997, after passage of the Defense of Marriage Act and in its revised, updated form, is every bit as timely and cogent as its predecessor. It offers a more neutral stance than “Why Marriage Matters” and some of its selec tions get bogged down in legal jargon. That being said, Wolfson’s book will be more accessible to the layperson on both techni cal and emotional levels. Both Sullivan and Wolfson deserve praise for bringing some much-needed clarity to a subject that incites the greatest of passions in both spectrums. Their efforts will undoubtedly prove invaluable in the battles ahead. info: "Why Mairiage Matters" Evan Wolfson Simon & Schuster $22.00 "Same-Sex Marriage; Pro and Con: A Reader" edited and with an introduction and a new preface by Andrew Sullivan Vintage Books $14.00
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