on being a gay parent
by brett webb-mitchell :: qnotes contributor
The Insurance Game
Here's the situation: I have healthcare insurance, that in
cludes dental, death, disability and part of my retirement plan,
through my employer's comprehensive. This program covers
my two children and me.
My partner has his health insurance program and retire
ment program through the state of North Carolina because he
is an employee of the state.
Because of the rules of the insurance game we are not
considered a couple, or a family, even though in all reality we
are very much a family, with kids and dogs in tow, in every
respect that a heterosexual couple is. So our healthcare
benefits are double what other couples pay for who are either
heterosexuals and married, or are fortunate to work in a place
where there are same-sex health benefits.
Here's where it gets even more interesting: my partner,
who works at a state institution of higher education, is re
sponsible for signing off on any
graduate student in a same-sex
partnered relationship who is
then able to procure same-sex
benefits for his or her partners.
The irony is he cannot get ^
the same benefits for us as a
couple as a state employee.
Now this is where it gets
tricky and becomes a matter of
injustice: we have friends who
are both employees of the state,
working in the same institu
tion of higher education. They are in a same-sex marriage, •
having been wed in the state of Massachusetts. However,
this marriage is not recognized in North Carolina. One of the
women, who recently had a child through in-vitro fertilization,
recently had a flare up her multiple sclerosis (MS) because
of the pregnancy and healthy birth of a child. Because of the
MS flare-up she has gone on a health-related or sick leave of
absence. However, doing so means she no longer has health
insurance for her orthe baby. And, her partner's insurance
coverage does not cover her married-partner or the child that
she is also a parent to because the child is — in the state of
North Carolina — a dependent upon the single mother (who
really isn't a single mother) who is now on sick leave.
Is this crazy or what?
And, the current federal reform of healthcare does not
touch the commonality of this situation. I know of other
same-sex partners who face the same high cost of health
care, each person having to pay separately because of
the rules ofthe federal, state, local and private firms we
are employed by. And, I know many others whose COBRA
programs have recently run out whose partners cannot
cover them in their healthcare plans. For such couples, they
simply pray that nothing catastrophic happens to the partner
without the insurance that they cannot afford currently.
Clearly it is time to work toward change so that all may
have family health insurance, whether a couple is in a straight
or LGBTQ-coupled relationship. It is both an issue of justice,
but also of compassion, regardless of one's political, philo
sophical, theological or ideological position. ::
qomunity qonexions ^
• Custom
Framing
• Remodeling
•Home
Improvement
•Custom Trim
• Decks
• Free Estimates
M&M
f. Construction
Matthew Willets
336.669.9259
Km .1 'f . 4
i
Gifts For All Reasons
Chet Calloway
601 S. Kings Drive
Kingspointe Shopping Ctr.
Charlotte, NC 28204
704.372.8892 - h'ax: 704.372.9502
Toll Ftee: 800.818.9442
www.basketsandblossoms.com
CHURCH OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
FELLOWSHIP. INC.
1005 Burke Street
Suite B
(lower level)
Winston Salem
North Carolina
27101
Phone: 336-63 M331
“Where the fullness of
God’s love resides”
REV. ROGER E. HAYES
Pastor & Teacher
* AN INOEPENOEIIT CHUACH
* An Affirming minht^
* A safe place to hea! and grow in Qirist Jesus
* Celebrating the Radically indusive Love of Jesus Chmt
www.chsfhc.org.com |
UNITY JhKIJ.OWSHlP ChDRCII ClIAKl.OTrr
JCw CiiKisri,\N Si;h\i;i;
RiaulS In Thj: Airican-Ami;ri('.an TRilnrrioN
Bishop Tonyia M. Rawi.s
Foundino Pastor
2127 Eastway Drive at Kjijborne
Charlotte, NC
704-567-3007
Services held Sundays at 10:45 am
Bibee Study - Wednesdays at 7 pm
www.ufccharlottenc.org
Pieedmont Uoitariae
Universalist Church
Sunday Services - 10:30 a.m.
9704 Mallard Creek Rd.
Charlotte, NC 28262
in the University area
Check out our calendar:
join in our many activities
and groups
vwwii.puuc.org
704-510-0008
Inspiring spiritual growth through diversity and religious freedom.
Cali Q-Notes
704.531.9988
:#PLAS
# YOUR BUSINESS
" • 4^ HERE
:iM^rriv.rv
RUSS CARD
SALES/LEASING
6824 E. INDEPENDENCE BLVD.
CHAFtLOTTE. NC 28227
704-563-7800
FAX 704-563-9172
DIRECT UNE 704-516-9274
TCXJ. FREE 1 -800-763-7811
WEBSITE: www.hendrickacuracom
EMAIL russ.gardOhendrickauto.cotn
2000 PRECISION TEAM
DEALERSHIP OF DISTINCTION
Serving the Charlotte area since 1999
Complete Accounting Services
for individuals and small businesses
tax preparation and filing
payroll and book keeping services
Samuel J. Gardner, III
epa
704.651.0286
samgar3@bellsouth.net
July 10-23.2010 qnotes 17