Newspapers / The Home Front News / April 20, 1945, edition 1 / Page 20
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SUM GUD / A new,bride was' atBked.''•/hat she had found to be the 'biggest thrill of marriage. "It^'V/as cert&inly thrillinfj' when rienry took me to the, license, bureau. It '.ma, another thrill when the minister -oronounced us man and ■, wife., I got''an awful balng-out of se.sing'Henry' sign, the, register 'Hr, and'"Mrs.'-' .1 do bel'ieve, thou;2h, that my biggest thrill , was thumbing my nose at the houee, detective." A timid old maid looked undei? her bed and finding',a burglar under there ei'Xlaimed, "and what, are you going to do - I hope?" A nogro. Woman :in Mieeissipp'l the ' other day, testifyinjr in behalf • of her husband, admitted in court , that he ,never hit'a iiok- of v;ork , and she had to BUi^port him.- "Why do you , live with euch a tri-,' fling, no-account husband?'} she was asked. "We3,l, It 'am this away/" she replied, "I makes de livinft'* an' he makes' de livln' V'orthwhile. "'r . , The .r.ien tjie nudi'st colony were ^ all givin;': the eye to'a shapely new entrant, One'man turned to the fellow-next to ’him and said, ,’ "Saayyy! ,I bet she'd look ^eal: in a sweater," ' ' ' , , ' First Eailoi’: ".How did yoit’ find . , ' ths 'ladi.ea at the dance?" , ' Second Sailor: "I opened tb.e d,o'or 'marked 'Ladies' and tiprs ■ they wci'e." ' , . ' - Joer "Did your cirl like the , new bathin'l; 'suit you bought her?" 'Ho^: ’ when , she puts''it cn,_ you GliQuid see hor beam." ,, G-randma: (looking at grand daughter's new bathin;j ,GUit) : "If'*I' co,uld liave had dresses, like, tliat v-rhen I v/as a gi:’’!, ydu'd be , six yef;;rs older today." ' H(; knelt ibecide her bed. She f'^s^'iod; "Hubby, I^'m dying, ^ And, I can't 3*0 xlt^iout telling; you ■ somt.-)thing. I've been unfaithful to you," ,"I know," hp answered, "I found,, .that out, And,t;mt',8 why I ■ooif'onod you," The clothes brush ^and tlio whisk broom* x-^^re amar.'^d v/hsn 'their ' ■' little hair .brush came,', because they had'never-s^rept together. Shr. va’s^ so innocent ehe;wouldn't .'molest t’. fly, unless it v:as open. : SUM BAD ..Crene .Korris: "Shay, Speedy, didjou sDill a ,,glass ,o'beer on m.e'?" , ' , - HarPispn"Mot me, 1 ',G-ene," ..G-ene .Norris: ".Shay, Sdgar, did- joii ■pour a glass o'beer , in my lap?" Sdgar• "Mo, I, didn-' t. " Gene Norris: "Jusht. v?hat I b^^en 'sushpeqting, It 'sh an- inehide Job!) ' The m.ornin,g, after. The night before -' /■ ,Our cat came' home At 'the; ho,ur .of foujr Tha ;lnnoqcn,t. look'' . ■ In her eye had went But the smile- on, her faoc- VJas a smile of content. ' The sv/eet youn,-r thing flagging a ta:-:i down town, said to the driver, "To the'maternity hos- nital- but never mind rushing. .I;Work there," ■ , , . . ■ r The Sultan had-,nine, v/j.ves. .Eight of them- ).';a'd it ■'^retty soft ■Young Fapa: " ’-;'ou''d ’be. 11 e r liurry and take 'the baby, dear I can't fool him any longer,*^ Bachelor'.s wiv^s and old maids’ . children aj’a aiwe.ys perfect. For fainting: Him the -oerson's . chest, or, if -a 'lady, rub her arm abo ve ' the Imnd. ■ ■ ■ ii 'woman who recently apquir^d a . rar’v'ot and a canary vfacn't ouite f;u're about.^t.b5ir, company manners GO whr;n 's6r-i« viyitprs camo’to the wom.an'3’, house sha hung the parrot ond the canftry in the. bathroom, 'One of the visitors ' ontered,'the bathroom'and started taking a bJltih, The V3ana,ry had beien o,l.nging ' and no>r. said, - "Peon,' peen'l "■ Tht> parrot- tiaid, "Peep, hell, I'm.going to I:;ake a good iook'i" ’ ' ■ ■ ' It isn't what ray f?irl knows that both-rs m.is, It'a how she learacrd it. ' Th93>3 v:as an'old maid that in- pi cted ;'that hor 'mama cat, iiriv-^r D^eavo t'h ;> ho'usa at ni!-;ht. Lact ’.■'inter .she took a. southei’n c ru, im tx nd wro t e lio mo : " I' m having darn .fun., .’*'et a &v;ell' gentlemen' on ' the boat, , , “ "F, S,.- Let the cat. out toni.rht. The burgler, finding the lady in her bath, covr:red her 'v.’ith his revolver. '
The Home Front News
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April 20, 1945, edition 1
20
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