SUM GUD /
A new,bride was' atBked.''•/hat she
had found to be the 'biggest
thrill of marriage. "It^'V/as
cert&inly thrillinfj' when rienry
took me to the, license, bureau.
It '.ma, another thrill when the
minister -oronounced us man and ■,
wife., I got''an awful balng-out
of se.sing'Henry' sign, the, register
'Hr, and'"Mrs.'-' .1 do bel'ieve,
thou;2h, that my biggest thrill ,
was thumbing my nose at the
houee, detective."
A timid old maid looked undei?
her bed and finding',a burglar
under there ei'Xlaimed, "and what,
are you going to do - I hope?"
A nogro. Woman :in Mieeissipp'l the '
other day, testifyinjr in behalf
• of her husband, admitted in court
, that he ,never hit'a iiok- of v;ork
, and she had to BUi^port him.-
"Why do you , live with euch a tri-,'
fling, no-account husband?'} she
was asked. "We3,l, It 'am this
away/" she replied, "I makes de
livinft'* an' he makes' de livln'
V'orthwhile. "'r .
, The .r.ien tjie nudi'st colony were ^
all givin;': the eye to'a shapely
new entrant, One'man turned to
the fellow-next to ’him and said, ,’
"Saayyy! ,I bet she'd look ^eal:
in a sweater," ' ' ' , , '
First Eailoi’: ".How did yoit’ find . ,
' ths 'ladi.ea at the dance?" , '
Second Sailor: "I opened tb.e
d,o'or 'marked 'Ladies' and tiprs
■ they wci'e." ' , . ' -
Joer "Did your cirl like the ,
new bathin'l; 'suit you bought her?"
'Ho^: ’ when , she puts''it cn,_
you GliQuid see hor beam."
,, G-randma: (looking at grand
daughter's new bathin;j ,GUit) :
"If'*I' co,uld liave had dresses, like,
tliat v-rhen I v/as a gi:’’!, ydu'd be ,
six yef;;rs older today."
' H(; knelt ibecide her bed. She
f'^s^'iod; "Hubby, I^'m dying, ^ And,
I can't 3*0 xlt^iout telling; you ■
somt.-)thing. I've been unfaithful
to you,"
,"I know," hp answered, "I found,,
.that out, And,t;mt',8 why I
■ooif'onod you,"
The clothes brush ^and tlio whisk
broom* x-^^re amar.'^d v/hsn 'their ' ■'
little hair .brush came,', because
they had'never-s^rept together.
Shr. va’s^ so innocent ehe;wouldn't
.'molest t’. fly, unless it v:as open.
: SUM BAD
..Crene .Korris: "Shay, Speedy,
didjou sDill a ,,glass ,o'beer on
m.e'?" , ' , -
HarPispn"Mot me, 1 ',G-ene,"
..G-ene .Norris: ".Shay, Sdgar, did-
joii ■pour a glass o'beer , in my
lap?"
Sdgar• "Mo, I, didn-' t. "
Gene Norris: "Jusht. v?hat I b^^en
'sushpeqting, It 'sh an- inehide
Job!) '
The m.ornin,g, after.
The night before -' /■
,Our cat came' home
At 'the; ho,ur .of foujr
Tha ;lnnoqcn,t. look'' . ■
In her eye had went
But the smile- on, her faoc-
VJas a smile of content. '
The sv/eet youn,-r thing flagging
a ta:-:i down town, said to the
driver, "To the'maternity hos-
nital- but never mind rushing.
.I;Work there,"
■ , , . . ■ r
The Sultan had-,nine, v/j.ves.
.Eight of them- ).';a'd it ■'^retty soft
■Young Fapa: " ’-;'ou''d ’be. 11 e r
liurry and take 'the baby, dear
I can't fool him any longer,*^
Bachelor'.s wiv^s and old maids’
. children aj’a aiwe.ys perfect.
For fainting: Him the -oerson's .
chest, or, if -a 'lady, rub her arm
abo ve ' the Imnd. ■ ■ ■
ii 'woman who recently apquir^d a
. rar’v'ot and a canary vfacn't ouite
f;u're about.^t.b5ir, company manners
GO whr;n 's6r-i« viyitprs camo’to
the wom.an'3’, house sha hung the
parrot ond the canftry in the.
bathroom, 'One of the visitors
' ontered,'the bathroom'and started
taking a bJltih, The V3ana,ry had
beien o,l.nging ' and no>r. said, -
"Peon,' peen'l "■ Tht> parrot- tiaid,
"Peep, hell, I'm.going to I:;ake a
good iook'i" ’ ' ■ ■ '
It isn't what ray f?irl knows
that both-rs m.is, It'a how she
learacrd it. '
Th93>3 v:as an'old maid that in-
pi cted ;'that hor 'mama cat, iiriv-^r
D^eavo t'h ;> ho'usa at ni!-;ht. Lact
’.■'inter .she took a. southei’n
c ru, im tx nd wro t e lio mo : " I' m
having darn .fun., .’*'et a
&v;ell' gentlemen' on ' the boat, , , “
"F, S,.- Let the cat. out toni.rht.
The burgler, finding the lady in
her bath, covr:red her 'v.’ith his
revolver. '