Newspapers / Brevard College Student Newspaper / March 14, 2008, edition 1 / Page 3
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Mar. 14, 2008 | The Clarion Opinion You really DON'T have any rights on this campus Page 3 Thursday morning several students protested at the Brevard College front gate, handing out zines and pandering to the sympathies of three local news outlets. Apparently, the College administration’s denial of First Amendment rights to students has caused big enough of a stir to get news outlets from Asheville and Hendersonville to come all the way down to Brevard. If not having First Amendment rights is big enough of a story to get local news here, somebody alert BBC and CNN, because The Clarion is about to prove that BC students enjoy none of the liberties granted by the Bill of Rights. Take a look: First Amendment: Proving this would be like beating a dead horse. Second Amendment: Everybody knows that guns aren’t allowed on campus. Or knives. Or Air Soft guns. Or shngshots. Or Super Soakers. It really is a shame, too, because it is highly unlikely that the fracas outside of Green Hall Sunday morning would have escalated to such an intense level if an armed student militia had emerged from Green Hall in order to protect our campus from outsiders. Third Amendment: In each dormitory, there lives a Resident Director Considering that these people are “soldiers” in the campus life army, you could say that students are being forced to quarter troops in their dormitories. Fourth Amendment: One of the two writers of this column has been written up for leaving a beer can in his refrigerator over break, so this Amendment pretty much goes out the window. Fifth Amendment: This amendment guarantees citizens a trial by a jury of their peers. While Brevard does have a Judicial Board, it is a voluntary activity. By having the J-Board be a voluntary activity, the “jury” attracts a type of member who wants to inflict punishment on others. This is hardly an impartial jury. Sixth Amendment: The sixth amendment ensures that people accused of a crime retain their rights. But this is impossible if they didn’t have any rights in the first place. Seventh Amendment: The Bill of Rights provides a civil trial for any dispute where more than twenty dollars is in question. Until CAB sets up a “People’s Court” for roommate disputes, this right will be denied of students. Eighth Amendment: It is no secret that BC students are subject to cruel and unusual punishment. When students have been written up enough they are forced to complete an alcohol education course. Have you ever tried to sit through one of those things? They are so boring that you need a beer just to get through it. Ninth Amendment: Citizens ca not be given rights that allow them to take away the rights of others. Yet on the BC campus. Campus Life employees have been given the right to search through students’ trash and refrigerators for incriminating evidence, thus infringing on the Fourth Amendment rights of those other students. Tenth Amendment: Powers not expressly given to the goverimient in the Constituted are delegated to the people in this amendment. Since the power to publish controversial poetry in a zine is not given directly to the government, that right is therefore given to the citizens. Unfortunately, the school has taken away that right. What Might Have Been [~|ypothetica!!y speaking, *y"he (^lanon examines exactly what you could have bought next year had E)Cl's tuition not been raised for next school year: Tex as your slave for the day (yes, he will cook for you). 117 cases of the finest beverage Annheuser Busch has to offer. Or 27 beers at a pro sporting event. Nick Nolte's bar tab for three hours. $7 Canadian 400 copies of Bring it On, Again, Seriously, Bitcii, Bring it. This Time I'm For Real! out of the $5 DVD bin at your local Wal-Mart.
Brevard College Student Newspaper
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