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Thanks for your input about my problem
last issue. Most people agreed that,
if I don't want to resume a friendship
with my ex-lover, I shouldn't. I think
I've rid myself of that problem now--
I've just let it go. Now my life is
going quite well and--even better--I'm
in love. I must confess that I'd
worried a bit about exposing my private
life to y'all, but no one seemed to
mind.
My next question is about coming out in
the job world. Now, if you're gay,
lesbian or bisexual and you feel
uncomfortable in your job when everyone
assumes you're heterosexual, what do
you do? I came out on my job
application, but everyone knows about
me anyway. Certainly one's sexual
orientation should not be an issue in
your workplace, but let's face reality.
If you have a desk and you want your
sweetie's face on it, or if you and
your coworkers talk about your families
during breaks, then your sexuality
becomes an issue. It seems that there
are several ways to handle the
situation:
a) Avoidance: "My homelife? Gosh,
break's over already. Busy, busy,
busy. Well, I'd better get back to
work. Bye!”
b) Exclusion: "Yes, I talk with my
mother and my friends. A significant
other really isn't part of my
definition of home life. But I love my
dog. A lot."
c) Gender change: "Oh yes, I have a
wonderful lover. She--um--he is very
considerate and lots of fun. In fact,
we went out to The Power Company--um,
WFUN--last night and she--um, he paid."
d) Frankness: "Well, I live at home
with my lover (insert lover's name).
We live in an apartment now, but maybe
we'll get a house some day. Pretty
yuppie, huh?"
Of course there are consequences to any
of these responses. You can be
interpreted as either a workaholic,
aloof, ineloquent, or blatantly
gay/lesbian. I have, at one time or
another, used all of these techniques.
I prefer the position I'm in now--
everyone knows and any problem is
theirs. I realize I'm in a different
job situation than others, though--!
work for liberal employers in a city
with a nondiscrimination clause. Write
Lambda c/o CGLA if you think of other
techniques or have thoughts on mine.
--Liz Stiles
Most people know of the services the
CGLA provides for the University:
publishing Lambda. performing
outreaches, providing AIDS information,
and giving support to students dealing
with their own homosexuality. However,
we are not utilizing the most
significant contribution we are capable
of performing. The CGLA can be a
nucleus for a lesbian and gay community
on campus. A community that would
reduce 22,000 students as well as
faculty and staff to a small group of
men and women with common experiences,
problems, and dreams.
A few dedicated individuals are
performing many CGLA duties, but we are
not fulfilling our potential as a base
for a lesbian and gay community on
campus. This is partially our fault.
The CGLA is not primarily a "fun"
organization--we don't have time to
provide too much more than the services
we now perform. Much of the problem
lies beyond our control. Many people
are not prepared to be out, but this
note is not directed at those
individuals. Instead, it is directed
at the students, faculty, and staff who
are out without being involved in the
CGLA. You many not be able to
contribute much time, but we would love
for you to attend some of our
functions. We hold monthly meetings,
biweekly Lesbian Lunches, dances, and
Awareness Week. Your input is needed
and desired. You are a source of new
ideas, support, and experience.
UNC's anti-discrimination clause does
not prohibit discrimination on the
basis of sexual orientation. We would
like to remedy this by the end of next
year. But our power would be greatly
increased with the support of faculty
and staff.
The CGLA exists for the entire
university. Please help build a
family, a community at UNC. We would
like to meet you.
~-Patrick Lamerson
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A Ninth Street tradition for eleven years.
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