Jop 10 Signs You Won't Be Winning Any Academic Honors
http://intranet.sapc.edu/clubs/lance/articles/honorslist.htnil
April 6, 2000
Top 10 Signs You Won't Be Winning
Any Academic Honors
10. Instead of a cap and gown, the registrar offered to save you time and get you a
Captam D's uniform.
9. Your genetics professor keeps trying to talk you out of reproducing.
8. St. Andrews gave you more financial aid, but you really wanted to go to that
school Sally Struthers is always talking about.
7. Instead of a conclusion, your term paper had a poignant "Springer's Final
Thought."
6. You have a strict policy of "Do a calculus problem, do a shot."
5. After two semesters of Spanish, you still can't understand Speedy Gonzoles
cartoons.
4. The only studying you did for your chemistry final involved a movie called
Lusty Ladies of the Lab.
3. No Academic Award is given for "Drunkest guy at Luau."
2. Every one of your answers on your economics midterm involved buying
Powerball tickets.
1. You keep insisting that your professors call you by your nickname, "Topless
Tanya."
Oh look, it's: -Suzvn Smith
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