Newspapers / The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.) / April 2, 2004, edition 1 / Page 21
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APRIL 2, 2004 GREENSBORO, NC Letter to the Editor from Martha Stewart Will Groves & Meredith Veto Staff Writers 1 ear Friends, I'm terribly excited about our new magazine, Martha Stewart Kids. We at Martha Stewart Omnimedia have been work ing hard on new projects, especially those geared towards children. Personally, I've been working very hard trying to stay out of prison for up to 30 years. In this special preview issue of Martha Stewart Kids, which you can receive for free from MarthaStewart.com, we will look at fun crafts and activities for children during the upcom ing Easter holiday. Also, we'll share some fun tips for chil dren about how to avoid being found guilty of obstructing jus tice and insider trading. Just in case though, we can discuss some helpful ways to lessen an impending prison sentence such as handing over financial documents about your portfolio when Matt Geiger on trusting America's leaders Matt Geiger Columnist V/V/ e as a nation need * * to calm down. Take a chill pill so to speak. The more I look around this coun try it seems to me that we all need a little perspective on the country that we live in. This is America, the greatest country on earth after all. I bring this up because in the times that we are living in it is too easy to get sucked into a world of doubt and cynicism. We watch the news too much and just assume that every body in a suit is lying to us. Folks, that idea is wrong, this nation was built on honesty, tolerance and the fundamen tal belief that government will requested to do so by a court. Our first project will be Easter eggs decorated with gold leaves and stuffed with delicious caviar imported from Russia. Next, we'll hand stitch tiny cashmere bunnies and hot glue them to a bou quet of orchids. It's a good thing. After that, we'll review a delightful list of stock market basics for you and your child to share. First of all, invest wisely. Secondly, don't use your personal connections with ImClone officials to gain business knowledge that is relevant to your stock. Remember, never buy or sell stock based on prior knowl edge of a company's corpo rate decisions. It's a bad thing. For parents, we'll discuss wonderful tips on how to spruce up even the most drab of rooms; for example, an B'xlo' room with gray cin derblock walls and only one always take care of its people. This is America, the greatest country on earth after all and has always treated people equally. We tell ourselves all the time that we could do a better job leading our country than our leaders do and this is not true. The people who work in gov ernment are extremely com petent and fair-minded peo ple, just look at the postal service. This is America, the greatest country on earth, after all ... and the biggest... I think. We demand our leaders to be perfect, but no one can be perfect so why are we raising the bar so high? We elected this president because he is FORUM window. Some cur tains would spruce that window right up, and a border and crown molding make even the drabbest wall come to life. Previously in Living we discussed how to make vanilla extract from two vanilla beans and a cup of vodka. Here, we will show you a delightfully tasty revised version using toilet wine. For children, some fantastic advice on making friends with your roommate - even if she is a woman who is 6'3" and convicted of beating her husband to death with a ham. Growing herbs can provide children with hours of fun. It's easy to grow herbs, even in the most barren soil in the under maintained exercise yard. The cinderblock walls provide a perfect shady envi ronment for most herbs. I hope you will enjoy reading one of us and he has not let us down in that respect. See, our politicians may make mis takes, but they learn from them and become better lead ers. Bill Clinton was an adul terer, George Bush was a coke fiend and Ted Kennedy actually killed somebody. Because of these men's character-building experi ences and resulting changes, American political policy has been directly changed as well. Drug addiction is now treated as a medical problem, not a criminal act. Adultery has almost stopped in almost all marriages in America after people saw how estranged Bill and Hillary became after his affair. Finally, killings have BiilUiwiirni^ ■■■■■■ BEHIND BARSvSEv jaliiouse chili cozy cots iV x decorating ' WWW. BEXPLOSIVE. COM Martha has yet to unveil her secret recipe for Cooked Books this special issue together. I am deeply appreciative of your support in my current legal situation. Log on to Save Martha.com to sign the petition for a presi dential pardon, and purchase apparel and accessories sporting the Save Martha logo If you missed the organized "knit-in" on National Save only been limited to any dark skinned foreigner who might have glanced towards Mecca once. God Bless America. I am glad that Bush and Kennedy never had to go to jail so they could take office and tell me how I should behave. They have already made the mistakes for me so I guess I have no excuse. We need to understand that we live in a world where things are not so cut and dry. We need our government to make sure that we do have wars like Iraq so the world can be safer. We need to ban smoking in bars in New York City because there are very few homeless people left in New York City and we have to WWW.GUILFORDIAN.COM Martha Day Saturday the 13th, make next weekend your own Save Martha Day. I promise that I will contin ue to do everything I can to help people bring "good things" into their cells and their lives. Sincerely, Martha Stewart start reprioritizing our goals. Government needs our sup port so that it can work effi ciently. We need to stop won dering why 9/11 happened because what good does that do us now? I mean, no one ever looks back on history and learns from it so why should this time be any differ ent. Our political leaders under stand that doing the right thing means not doing the right thing because the right thing is not going to be the right thing at that specific time. So I close this piece with this message: Turn that frown upside down and don't worry, government has your back. Page 3
The Guilfordian (Greensboro, N.C.)
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April 2, 2004, edition 1
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