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THE SALEM ITE
Saturday, March 2, 1929.
Mpinbei Southern Inter-Collegiate
Publinhed Weekly by the Student Body
of Salem College.
$2.00 a Year :: 10c a Copy
Editor-In-Chief Dorothy Ragan, "29
Managing Editor Rubie Scott, ’29
Associate Editor Laila Wright, ’80
Associate Editor _Lucile Hassel, ’30
Masie Editor Elizabeth Andrews, ’29
Literary Editor Lessie Phillips, ’30
Sport Editor Sara Efird, ’31
Local Editor Edith Kirkland, ’81
Local Editor Kathleen Moore, ’81
Business Mgr Isabelle Dunn
Asst Bus. Mgr Eleanor Willingham
Adr. Manager Jessie Duvis
Asst. Adv. Mgr Eva Hackney
Asst. Adv. Mgr Elva Lee Kenerly
Adv. Mer Elizabeth Allen
Circurmiun Mgr Carolyn Brinkley
Asst. Circ. Mgr „...Mary Norris
Asst. Circ. Mgr Elizabeth Ward
Mary Myers Faulkner.
It is again reported that we are
to have a new gym. This rumor we
hare witJi us always like the poor
and the potatoe.s in the dining
S. Carlton got herself into an
embarrassing situation by mistaking
Miss Stipe’s door for an exit. Ouv
advice to her is: be nonchalant, walk
a mile, and reach for an old Ches
This department has started a
priceless collection of rare objects.
It now includes an unusual lipstick,
3 person without a cold, and a Junior
without something to sell.
WE'RE PROUD OF IT!
mores. Juniors, and Seniors! At
last we have gained this long looked-
for (in vain, we thought) and long
aspired-to chance of saying just
why and how, and what we think of
you. But you’ll be surprised when
all is said and don«!
In various issues of the Salemite
dnring the year the following head
lines have appeared; “Sophomore
Week Proves Trying Ordeal for
Freshmen,” “Freshmen Afford De
lightful Entertainment for. Upper
Classmen in Sophomore Court,”
“Advice to Freshmen,” “Fear Not
the New,”, etc. Such things as a
picture of a crabby old man, who
looks as if he could bite nails into
two parts, with “The Above Repre
sents a Freshman’s Impressions of
the Sophomore Judge,” under it,
and a big blank space which was
supposed to be representative of a
Freshman’s thoughts, were quite
suggestive. We were very much
hurt when some of the returns froii
the Freshman student government
exams (which, by the way, we had
labored over for two long weeks)
were brought to light in the college
paper. We were razzed, ridiculed,
hazed, abused, and bullied.
Another issue of the Salemite
says: “The first thing about being
a Freshman is to realize that you’ra
.•witually one of these queer little
things.” We’ve surely been made
to realize it. Sophs—by such things
as making up beds, washing hose,
sweeping floors, hopping across the
•streets, and wearing our hair in pig
tails. But we didn’t mind fulfilling
the ta.sks imposed upon us; in fact,
we really enjoyed them, and we
hope that we were good sports, for
we tried to take our dose gracefully.
Besides all the aforementioned
cruel deeds of the tyrannical Sophs
we also remember all their good
deeds. What a good time they gave
us at the Sophomore party, and
what worth-while lessons tliey taught
us! The Juniors, our big sisters,
and the Seniors have been good to
us, too. In fact, we like you all.
Seniors, Juniors and Sophomores—
but we’re still proud of the fact
that we arc Freshman.
In a Winston newspaper there re
cently appeared a .symposium of
reasons why the students of Ohio
University accounted themselves as
“among those present” at that col
lege. Simple, human reasons, all of
them—because “the rest of the
crowd went,” because “Dad wanted
me to have better educational ad
vantages than lie had,” because “it
was the thing to do,” and we wonder
how these reasons might apply to
the student at Salem.
From random observations wo
miglit surmise that one-sixtli of the
.students of our college seriously
peruse tlieir textbooks with a view
of ennobling their lives through in
tellectual development and through
experience in pertinent discussion
with greater minds. This one-sixth
leave college with minds sharpened
and keen to battle the problems of
life, with a sense of having justi
fied four years of young life and
hundreds of dollars of parental
money, and with an enviable poise
and surety which comes only through
association with culture and experi
ence in leadership.
But what of the other five-sixths,
the portion who drift serenely past
open doors of opportunity.? Care
lessly they glide through college and
through life, with care-free .smiles
tliey elude tlie subtle problems of
life, heartlessly they scatter the
hard-earned money of their parents,
and always they deceive themselves
with the thought that their futile
attempts at education lists them
among the haute monde.
Are you spending four of the most
precious year.? of your life in a
determined. erudite pursuit of
knowledge, or arc you giving no
thought but to experience the pleas
ures of college and to receive, inci
dentally, an education.?
IX THE FRESHMAN
Charlotte, N. C.
Mt. Airy, N. C.
Secretary—Mary Virginia Pen-
dergraph, Mt. Airy, N. C.
Pinkston, Winston-Salem, N. C.
Student Council Representatives:
Martha Delany, Charlotte, N. C.
Mary ]\Iitehell Norman,
Mooresville, N. C.
Mary Heston Martin.
Daisy Litz, Tazwell, Virginia.
Y. JV. C. A. Cabinet:
Mary Elizabeth Meeks,
Rocky Mt., N. C.
Winifred Nicholson, Arlie, N. C.
Anna Preston, Charlotte, N. C.
Martha Pierce, Weldon, N. C;.
Anna Macon Ward,
Stoneville, N. C.
Captain of Basketball Team:
Editors of Freshman Salemite:
Mary Heston Marton,
Winston-Salem, N. C.
Sarah Graves, Mt. Airy, N. C.
Martha Pierce, Weldon, N. C.
Freshman Tennis Champion:
Swallow This Pill!
“No, Superior Beings, we do not
think that Napoleon was defeated at
the Battle of Tippecanoe because
X plus Y equals A minus B divided
by 2 plus C, but we do think that
the Seniors, Juniors, and Sopho
mores—well, never mind what we
think. You aren’t to be blue, dears,
nor quite as green as we were, but
we hope to turn you red enougli to
make up for both. Now that my after
dinner speech has been made, (The
absence of the dinner is unaccounted
for! Tch! Teh! Tch!) we shall pro
ceed with the Bull Session or the
Hen Party or the Rat Meeting
(choice of two). Nominations are
now in order for the Princess of
Pills. This young lady must be
beautiful in the way a crab is beau
tiful and have about the same char
acteristics and leap. It is essential
that she be addicted to the use of
‘Mother Sills’ Seasick Pills,’ else she
will be useless for our advertising
purposes. Do I hear a suggestion
from the floor.?”
“Mr. Head-Rat, I nominate alli-
“Don’t call me ‘Head-Rat,’ you
rat-head—ah—pardon me, Ikey, but
do you think allimaC suits the
“Most assuredly, Mr. Head
President. She has all the necessary
qualities. Have you never noticed
how crabbily she turns her back on
the audience when she makes an an
nouncement.? According to the latest
bulletin of the Quack Doctors’ As
sociation of Oskibowwow, Wisconsin,
this action is duo entirely to con
stant consumption of aforesaid pills.
In addition to this attraction, .she
has til at ‘come-and-kiss-me-quick-
before-I-die’ air, which is most ap
pealing in a country la.s.s of her
Mr. Lounge-Lizard, I insist that
my candidate be recognized.”
“Mr. Chairman, if you please or
don’t please! Who are you back-
“This extraordinary female needs
no stump-speeches, for she is the
original nub although not quite the
first preferred stock in blondes. She
uses ‘Mrs. Perkins Pink Pills for
Pale People,’ which have a much
more apparent result than those of
Mother Sills. Do you follow me,
gentlemen.? She is a Mellin’s Food
Baby raised on Campbell’s Soup and
love, and, in her capacity as chief
executive of our demented Big Sis
ters, would be a flawless Princess of
“Will you be willing to swear, if
necessary, Mr. , (what is
eiddna’s beau’s name, anyway.?)
that it was not the glue on our pills
which gave her lock-jaw.?”
“I will even go so far as to as
sert that our pills have reduced her
in height at least two and a half
feet and caused her to swallow her
“I hardly think that necessary,
ywung squashbokie. You do not
fall far short of placing our superior
product in the class of tlie patent
medicine ^ . What did you
call me.? Blockhead, indeed!”
“ ‘Blackhead,’ I said, ‘Blackhead!’
Don’t accept one of these infernal
blondes; select my illustrious candi
date. She is stern enough to por
tray the condition of a person with
a recently swallowed pill in her
anatomy, and the dignified way in
which she swats a volley ball shows
the stuif she’s made of (one day last
.luvember she skinned a big piece
of 'the stuff she’s made of’ off her
(continued next week). You
arc to understand that enaJ is an
individual. She’s a good judge of
pills but a very poor one of under
classmen—eh! Fre,shmen.? That
makes no special ‘never mind’
though, as her judgment isn’t her
most prominent feature and wiU
never show in the picture. Of course,
she is the ape’s only rival when she’s
trying to look inspired, but we need
a plain Jane for our purposes. Shall
we make it unanimous.?”
“Since I am the unfortunate per
son who is to choose between these
‘Flaming mamies,’ I have decided
(with misgivings and apologies to
the English Department) to sink in
to the arms of Morpheus and awake
in the arms of Saint Peter. I am
uncertain as to the best way to
reach this end—no, that end—any
way, my end. Suggestions will l>e
kindly received and as kindly dis
posed of. As I was saying before
I died—ahem I mean spoke of dy
ing, it is a colossal task to choose
the Princess of Pills from her (How
many upperclassmen are there? I
done gone ’n forgot) sisters who are
equally well-fitted for the position.
I hereby decree that each of the
creatures, classed as Srs., Jrs., and
Sophs, shall from henceforth and
even forevermore retain her sigTiifi-
eant title of Her Uncouth Highness
Princess of Pills; and that the
Freshmen shall live happily ever
afterwards—at least, until the up
perclassmen finish this paragraph—
then, may their souls rest in peace! ”
i SAL TO EM I
It breaks my heart to write to
you. This letter probably means
the end of our correspondence.
Never will I be able to look you in
the face again. Never will we raise
whoopee again. Oh! Oh! Oh ! As
Lady Macbeth sftys, all the per
fumes of Arabia can never wash this
from my soul. Long have I pon
dered on how to break the news.
Oh, this is killing me! How can I
tell you.? I can’t do it!!! Yet I
must brave myself for the attack.
Never will you love the old school
again. Never will you consider it
an honor to have graduated from it.
Never! Never! Never!
Mary Breicer goes to Salem.
The Freshman class has one hun
dred, twenty-four members. The
students of Salem College come
from many different .sections. North
Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, Soutli
Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama,
Texas, Pennsylvania, New Jersey,
West Virginia, Mississippi, Con
necticut, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Ken
tucky, New York, and West Indies
The Freshman Class wishes to ex
tend its thanks to the editorial staff
Did You Know That—
). Nonie Riggan was on time
for gym on the fourteenth of Jan
uary, in the year nineteen hundred
and twenty-eight, A. D.?
2. Mary Johnson didn’t get a
])hone call last night?
3. Adelaide McAnally was un
able to make an announcement on
February 21st becau.se there was no
■1. We saw Marion Bloor down
town the other day without Doris
Shirley? But we’ll have to admit
that she looked like a lost dog.
5. Lillyan Newell forgot her
socks last Wednesday morning?
6. The major production of tlie
Pierrette Players for next year has
not yet been decided upon, for
Mary Brewer jias not yet picked
7. During this week for the first
time throughout the year. Dot Ragan
has gone around with a “pleased-
with-thc-world” expression on her
8. There is no use to try to use
Clewell telephone from seven to
eight every night for Hazel’s talking
to her “Billy”?
9. All the chairs and doors and
fountains are dated, but the girls
never are? (Except a few).
10. Lillian Tucker has lost her
There is a club in New York de
voted to the laziest men in the world.
Any attempt on the part of a mem
ber to hurry is punished with a fine.
One day a member was seen driving
by the club committee at a fast rate
of speed. Summoned before the
committee he excused himself bv
saying that he was too lazy to take
his foot off the accelerator.
A. & P. Store
TO MEET THE
Salem College Girls
Just around Corner
of The Salemite for the privilege of
editing this issue of the college
Welcome Salem Girls!
WE ARE ALWAYS GLAD
TO SEE YOU IN OUR STORE
“WINSTON-SALEM’S SHOPPING CENTER”
THE BEST IN TOWN
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