New Cutout Designs
To Beautify Garden
LJERE is a new department that
we know is going to meet
with tremendous popularity with
our readers, (or it brings the op
portunity of combining pleasure
and profit. With jig, coping or
keyhole saw, you may cut these
designs from wallboard, plywood
or thin lumber. Each pattern
brings accurate outline of the de
sign, and complete directions for
making and painting.
Men, women, boys and girls are
finding this a fascinating pastime,
and with each order will be sent a
circular showing many additional
novelties which may be made at
home.
A host of bright birds in your
garden becomes reality when your
cutout hobby is combined with
pattern Z9063, 15 cents. Life-size
outlines and realistic painting sug
gestions for eight familiar birds
are given. Can you identify them?
There's the red-headed woodpeck
er, scarlet tanager, indigo bunt
ing, towhee, oriole, bobolink and
blue jay.
On this same pattern you also
receive outlines and instructions
lor the delightful rustic bird
house.
Send Order to: Aunt Martha,
Box 166-W, Kansas City, Mo.
/ \
There Are Two Ways
to Get at Constipation
Yea, and only two waye-he/or?
and after it happent! Instead of
enduring tboee dull, tired, head
achy dm 71 end then having to
take an emergency cathartic-why
not KMSP regular with Kellogg'i
All-Bran? You can, if your con
etlpattonle the kind millions have
?due to lack of "bulk" in the
diet. For All-Bran goes light to
the cause of this trouble by
supplying the "bulk" you need.
Bfct thto tftMtful. nutritious
cereal recralorly-with milk or
cream, or baked Into mufflne
drink plenty of water, and eee if
your life taut a whole lot bright
ATI Made by KeOogg's in Battle
Creek. If your oenditlon is chron
la, it le wise to consult a phyalelan.
Life of Employment
The wise prove, and the foolish
confess, by their conduct, that a
life of employment is the only life
worth leading.?Paley,
WOMEN
Hm'l amazing way to
Relieve 'Regular4 Pains
rnkt. siittiattd with my mmtMy
jlwi Dr. ffcw/i Wm&tUt Prmtripiim
jw m wiitk, gmmerf ttrtntlK mil mm
rmtiy tdumd ?/ these pwu."
Seeing Myself
"I have never seen a creator
monster or miracle in the world
than myself."?Montaigne.
Relief At Last
ForYour Cough
?Sn~tt jOwTluM to th^gentof the
g&as
LwSSa
you a bota^Ofeonmlaion Wie the
the way tt qSekly auays the cough
CREOMUlsiON
for Comb, Chart Colds, SroecMHs
i
BMMUUW
?that will save yon many a
; dollar will escape too if
; yon fail to read carefully and
regularly the advertising of
local merchants ess.
?S!
jgs
WNUfcn**
WAR CONVERSATION
Stalin (quite confused) ? Where
am IT
Hitler?You mean, "Where are
wet"
Chamberlain?You boys shouldn't
have any trouble getting your bear
ings; you planned it this way.
Mussolini (sarcastically) ? That's
what THEY thought!
? ? ?
Hitler (to Stalin)?I thought you
had an army.
Stalin?So did I!
Hitler?The secret of victory is a
swift powerful attack, a terrific body
blow. Why didn't you do just as I
did in Poland?
Stalin?There were no Finns in Po
land.
? ? *
Chamberlain (wearily) ? I wish
you would stop arguing; I want a
little peace.
Both?A little is all you'll get.
Chamberlain?Oh, I dunno; I'm
not doing so badly.
Hitler?And you're not doing so
good, either.
Mussolini?You're all terrible. Do
you know what I'd do if I was in
this war?
All?No, and we probably never
will!
? ? ?
Mussolini?Look at me. I don't
pay any attention to war.
Hitler?I don't know whether to
trust you or not.
Mussolini?The feeling is mutual,
Adolf.
Chamberlain?As I recall things,
Adolf, you were going to have this
1 THOUGH*
, X7U HAD fl
<jj AW AgMVX!
-Hr
war over in no time. It was to be
done in one mighty blow.
Hitler?Can't you waitT
Chamberlain ? I can; but can
YOU?
? ? ?
Stalin?What's worrying me is
what those Finns have that I haven't
got.
Hitler?They haven't a thing, and
it's time you found it out.
? ? ?
Mussolini?Will you all keep quiet,
please.'
All?What for?
Mussolini?I'm trying to map out
a policy.
Hitler?You and I mapped out a
policy last summer.
Mussolini?Things are a lot dlf
ferent now.
Hitler?You're telling met
? ? ?
Daladier?Do I hear people talk
ing?
Hitler?Have you been asleep all
through this?
Daladier?Why not; you've dona
nothing to keep me awake.
Stalin (to Hitler)?Are you going
to stand for a crack like that, com
rade?
Hitler (wincing)?Don't call me
comrade.
Stalin?Listen, you called me com
rade llrst. Have you forgotten?
Hitler?I wish I could I
? * ?
DISILLUSIONMENT
I met my favorite movie (tar
And, lord, was he a bore!
He talked about himself at will
From seven until four;
Then downed another drink or two
And passed out on the floor.
K. Forshay.
Add similes: As inefficient as a
man putting on his own auto plates.
? ? ?
Football la a major handicap to
edaeatioa. says Dr. Hate bias of the
University of Chicago. Most of as
thought It was the other way aroaad.
o ? ?
Add similes: As depressed as a
cheer leader who picked the Univer
sity of Chicago for his education.
? ? ?
There are 11,000,000 fishermen In
the United States, a federal bureau
which gets paid for keeping track
of such things, announces. No won
der those two fish get more scary
every season.
? OS
PLANET JOTTINGS
Joa Stalin, from up Moscow way,
has a war which he would like to
i swap, sell or lease.
? ? ?
Earl Browder was in court under
the name of Earl Browder.
? ? ?
Harold I ekes hasn't lambasted
anybody In almost a week now, and
must be 111 or something.
? ? ?
Bob Taft, from up Cincinnati way,
is trying to collect a prize offered
by Mr. Roosevelt for a plan to bal
ance the budget. Bob will settle for
a set of dishes.
? ? ?
A "Mickey Rooney-for-President"
club was started here last week at
the Fire House. Mickey could sweep
the country, say we.
? ? ?
Frankie Murphy has been located
by anxious friends. He turned im on
the Supreme court. That will stop
him popping about, ye ed reckons.
ailii. ? i
| OUR COMIC SECTION
[] Events in the Lives of Little Men
HAVE. VOU&OVS r
SEEM ANVTHlNCb
v, C7F AW SJ
\0
grah'pa
?*?
s
?M
A
T
T
. E
R
P
O
P
By
C. M. Payne
WW
wvlo* V
J Vou Km ova L /II
VMAveHT MIOC-4
N EX1* tt|6?eNC6- )
^CTV /"\AT Ho?Vi.-t*ACK J
11> T> AT?
I
?Wo-7*! S
vtn 1?umnim'
us
I Go ou-r OM J
VJATe4ouT
"T50-R tf*T
(owii-TuitSj-y if
IV/*/ I 1
rr^oQ us /
^tf
<?s>
;> ^64* lid
M WKU Btrrlc*.
p
0
p
?y
J. Millar Watt
1 i I
TAKE PLENTY OP TIME -
we're in no purrv!
-c~?'
I WAS PLAYING THIS
GAME BEFORE YOU
WERE BORN !_.
? i d
1 f
FI^TTENED-^ PinUM ,
"The women used 10,000 tons of
face powder last year."
"Yes; and the weight of H all fell
on the men."
"Bring me some cold porridge,"
said the soldier to the waitress,
"Burn some toast to a cinder," he
added. "Fry two bad eggs and
serve them on a dirty plate. Make
the coffee so that it tastes like mud
and bring it in a cracked cup sc
that it drips down my chin when 1
drink it."
The concoction came?and the
puzzled waitress asked: "Is there
anything more?"
"Tea." said the soldier. "Nov
sit down and nag me. I'm home
sick."
FACING AN AWFUL FACT
"Why does he look so awed all the
r time?"
"1 heard him say he was
an awful tact." *
?
"The Name
Is Familiar?
???
BT
FELIX B. STEEYCKMAN#
and ELMO SCOTT WATSOH
Solon
\\T HEN we Want to say that a
* * man is wise we call him a
solon and we call lawmakers solons,
too. This doesn't mean that we
think all lawmakers are wise men
heaven forbid I The reason is that
the world's original lawmaker on a
big scale was a very wise man and
his name was Solon.
That name isn't just a first name
or a last name?
it is all the name
the man had and
all he needed. He
lived so long ago
that the popula
tion was small
enough to let men
get by with one
word names. So
lon was one of the
original Seven Solon
Wise Men of
Greece and was born in Athens about
640 B. C.
He wrote or rewrote practically
all the laws that were in existence
during his time and was the first
lawmaker to devise a code that gave
people rights instead of merely pro
hibiting them from doing this or
saying that they must do that. Be
sides regulating private and public
life, his code reformed the calendar,
the system of weights and meas
ures, the monetary system. It re
lieved the burdens of debtors with
out curtailing the rights of credi
tors. (He could be elected on either
ticket today!)
His laws were crudely written on
wooden cylinders and set up in pub
lic places for everybody to read.
This must have been just a matter
of form, because in his day about
the only ones who could read were
the ones who wrote the cylinders.
* ? ? ?
Kelvin's Law
'TP HE kelvin, a commercial unit of
electricity; Kelvin's law for
measuring the most economical di
ameter of an electric wire; Kelvin,
or absolute, temperature scale,
which begins at 561 degrees below
zero Fahrenheit; and the Kelvina
tor, the first electric refrigerator for
household use, were named for Lord
Kelvin of Largs, Scotland, one of the
_ greatest and most
practical scien
tists of all time.
He invented
flashing signals
for lighthouses;
designed an oil
floated self-level
ing magnetic
compass which al
lowed this instru
ment to be used
on steel ships; in
vented the ultra
sensitive detect.
Lord Kelvin ing and recording
apparatus that made the trans-At
lantic cable possible?and became
chief executive of the cable com
pany to supervise its laying; re
duced temperature to a mathemati
cal basis and announced absolute
zero where there is no heat and
where molecules stand still.
His name was William Thomson
and he was born in Belfast in 1824,
the son of a professor of mathe
matics at the Royal Academical In
stitution of Belfast. As early as
18S2 he foresaw the practicability
of beating and cooling buildings by
means of currents of air. When he
built a mansion of his own in 1874
on the Scottish coast, he built in
heating ducts and ventilating facili
ties. When he died in 1907, he had
received every degree a scholar
could obtain and had made a for
tune of many millions of dollars.
? ? ?
'Rich as Croesus'
\\T HEN a man is so rich that he
' " actually reeks with wealth, we
call him a Croesus. The word is
pronounced like those things in a
man's trousers?and we don't mean
wrinkles, like in ours.
But don't misunderstand ? we
don't call a rich man a Croesus be
cause he is the only one who can
afford them in his pants. Perhaps
u>a navsr shnnlH
have brought the
matter up.
Croesus is a
word for a rich
man and goes
'way back to 560
B. C., when the
original Croesus,
a Greek king of
Lydia, was born.
He was richer
than any king be
fore him, hence
the use of his
name. Living in
the time when men wore togas, you
can see that he didn't even wear
pants?or did they wear pants with
togas? Now we are sorry we brought
the matter up.
Lydia, at the time Croesus was
king, included practically all of
Asia Minor, and his wealth was ob
tained mainly from the mines and
gold dust of the river Pactolus.
Proud of his treasures, he carried
his love of splendor to extravagance
and thought he was the happiest of
men.
All of which proves it isn't the
number of pairs of pants you have
that makes you wealthy.
falund by Western Newspaper PnlneJ
- - - in
INSTRUCTIONS
Ba a Tree Expert: Course. Spraying, Fer
tilizing, Pruning. Cavity Filling, TtmP I
Growing, etc. Complete Course $8.99. Ten
neitic Tree Institete. Lewlsberg, Tens.
BABY CHICKS
019191
Writs today for satnl?fm$ and pries Hs*
?ILFOIB IICEOEBS lATCBflT.flfcetrMkr ? locUde,H.
HOTELS
Come to Baltimore, Maryland
THE MOUNTROYAL HOTEL
ML Royal Ave. and Calvert Sta.
9 stories ? Fire-proof
Rat? begin at $1M per day
Coffee Shop ? Music and Dancing In ths
FAMOUS ALGERIAN ROOM
FEEDS
NOCAKO CONCEIOTRATE
is a stock conditioner. Easy to handle.
SET '?">*??*
0u/"/ HOO RATIONS
/40% POULTRY MASH
main mial ? Ask Your Do*far ?
ONION RENDERING CO., Mfr. ttfMbSTSS
BEAUTY SCHOOL
Tour Beauty Course Depends on Right Training.
Year saeesss assured under personal euporvisisn of
WINONA FITZGERALD KING
Gradoetes always in demand. Writs as today.
MAISON FREDERIC BEAUTY SCHOOL
SOO W. Saratoga M.
Strange.Facts
? Whose Signature?
'Proxy Parents'
* Live to Collect *
In a recent experiment^ the Chi
cago Police Crime Detection lab
oratory had seven college profes
sors differentiate between four
samples of their signatures, one
being genuine, one an expert for
gery, one a tracing and one writ
ten with no attempt at imitation.
Only one man identified his own
signature as genuine and recog
nized the other three specimens
as nongenuine.
A new organization in New York
supplies capable young women
between the ages of 20 and 30
years to act as "proxy parents,"
taking children to theaters,
schools, parties, dentists' offices
and on shopping tours. They also
stay with children while parents
are away for the week-end, and
meet trains and chaperon girls
who come to the city for a visit.
In Great Britain, the fees of bar
risters, or trial lawyers, still are
regarded as gratuities and, there
fore, cannot be collected through
legal action.
More than 60 per cent of the
money now paid out annually by
the life insurance companies of
the United States and Canada goes
to living policyholders, not to their
beneficiaries. ?Collier's.
?n?L<?estion
d jiWSteJU mo.
black Ubtet dotm l brine you the faiUal nod neoat
Kftvss fftSShsvust
gXSSfcgSfiKS
j^S3-Sa^a-S5
One of Good Sense
Fine sense and exalted sense
are not half so useful as common
sense: there are forty men of wit
for one man of good sense.?Addi
son.
JUIDDLE ACT WOMEN
Thousands htvv nat^
amilins thru this *try
H In. tins." by takias
Pinkhan's?famous
?* VI forholptnffomalafuae.
^ 31 do?I traablm. TVs Of
WNU?4 7?40
The Present
Past and to come seem best;
things present worst. ? Shake
speare.
W/HEN kidneys function badly audi
Www suffer a nagging back.die,|
with dimness, burning, scanty or tool
freouent urination and getting up at
njpm, when yoo feel tirwf. nervous,
en upset.,. use Doea's Pills.
Dean's are especially for poorly
working kidneys. Millions of boses'
are used every year. They are neons-1
rnended^the country over. Ads your,
lltUl'U'JIIU
?