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A LOV6
LETTER!
Farmer McTmrUh fell In a well
where 'the- eater an eeven feet
deep, and cold. Hie ?Me. who had
4MB Willi (fl ia. fmijfrti down to
him: *TU ring die dinner beO so
the boy* win come and pull you up."
"What time k It?" McTaviah
yelled back.
" Bout half-past ten."
"No. dang it, let 'am work till
dinner time. I'll swim around until
?Hiii *?
WI8ECRACKEK
"HulloI What art tboaa red mark*
en roar coat?"
"Ruat. My tailor eaid thia etufl
would wear like iron."
*!' kiii' . aiii* nidi thin i? urn
"Friend." Mid Plodding Pete. "1
want to Mb yeu a favor."
"I haven't time to listen to you,"
said the pedestrian.
"I suppose you're expectin' me to
ask you fot money."
"You needn't I'm brake."
"Well, Jes' to show dat I'm a
good feller an' don't carry no ill
will. Jes' wait here till I panhandle
up an' down de block a couple o'
times an' I'D lend you some."
HI. Phi Hipr Jr
mg <wm
LUKE TWJTCHELL ON
INDUCTION
Dear Elmer: Well, I am in the
army, but I won't be much help to
; it for a long time on accountof being
all worn out by the physical exami
nation. I had an idea it was easy to
get into a war today, but I find it is
almost impossible. I can't make out
yet whether I was being examined
for the army or for a Mister Amer
ica contest.
? ? ?
My great-great-grandfather fought
at Bunker Hill when he had flat
I feet, a complete set of false teeth
and one glass eye. Always I have
the idea that what counts is how a
| man can fight and not what shape
his teeth are in or whether he has
had his tonsils out, but do I learn
different!
? ? ?
Even when I was examined for'
life insurance it wasn't so tough.
Five times I try to explain to the
doctors getting into the army wasn't
my idea anyhow, and that I showed
up because Uncle Sam invited me,
and why treat me like I was trying
to put something over? What was I
drafted for, anyhow, a war or a
screen test?
0 0 0
What gets me is the way they go
over my teeth. Say, ain't it enough
i snouia uck mi
ter without being
expected to eat
him? They poke
around my up
pers and lowers
like they suspect
ed I was using
unmphndv pIsp'q
teeth and they And trouble I didn't
even know I had with 'em. If my
teeth don't give me no trouble, why
should they worry the United States
army in a time like this? I will
lay you two to one that Napoleon's
teeth were punkeroo and I think I
read a piece once what said Julius
Caesar, George Washington, U. S.
Grant and most of the Green Moun
tain boys didn't see their dentists
twice a year, either.
? ? ?
They go over my eyes, too, like
they thought they was examining
a ffuv whn was
making an appli
cation to become '
a watch inspec
tor. I have been
wearing glasses
for a couple of y
years and I don't
have no trouble
getting around in civilian clothes, so
what makea 'era so worried I won't
be able to recognize an enemy army
when I see it?
? ? ?
All my life I have no complaints
about mv ears hot thaoA #?lloti/? of
the induction look
>m over, make
tests and shake
their heads as if
they thought they
were the kind of
ears that MIGHT
wear out too ear
? - ly in ure. wnen J
think it is all over they go over
my feet, which are in swell shape
like most Americans on account no
body in this country uses feet any |
more. Everybody either drives an >
auto or is a hitch-hiker. Their feet
are good now, but wait until they
have been doing army patrol six
months!
? ? ?
Well, anyhow, I barely get in on
account I am six points short of
being the Perfect Man and once had
asthma.
Yours for a war anybody can get
Into, .
?Luke.
? ? ?
WOMEN AND DEFENSE
<"E. V. MeCoUam at Johns
Hopkins told the meeting that
the women of America could
help In the defense program by
seeing that their menfotks got
proper food."?News Hem.)
Ladies, would you help defense?
Would you make your country
* stronger?
Feed your menfolks with more
care
Do not serve that hash much
longer 1
Do you want our coastline safe
From the batterings of Dover?
Have a heart and do not chirp,
"Hooey, this was Just left over."
Are you for preparedness?
Do you want the future sunny?
Cut that old line. "Sorry, but
We're Just having cold cuts,
hooey!"
? s ?
In this business of leasing war
supplies to England, Elmer Twite he 11
hopes we don't wind up with noth
btg but a mortgage oo a couple af
tmoke screens.
? ? ?
Well, nobody can say our defense
program hasn't a lag to stand on.
? ? ?
SIMILES
As unconvincing as a held magi
cian.
? ? ?
As well spaced as a banquet menu.
Martin Ragaway.
Ik
HouseholdNeuJS
En
//
S Afflux
COLD-WEATHER HOSPITALITY
(See Recipes Below) ?
What if the radio weatherman
does predict a drop to 10 degrees
Kalrkor varnl TV\nt
is no reason to
put all hospitality
in cold storage,
too. Not if our
grandmothers
could have get
togethers even when they had to
drive the horses through the snow
and stay the whole day!
And so, no matter how blustery
the weather, clubs will still have
their afternoon meetings, there will
be cheerful teas in church parlors,
and friends will drop in informally
to spend the evening. If it is warm
. inside and there is fragrant, invit
ing food in the offing, the sharpness
of the wind won't matter.
You will want to have a few new
recipes at your Angers' ends to
make such cold weather hospitality
easy. If you are feeding the club,
using the bridge table method, you
might serve beef Creole in individu
al rice rings, a plate of celery
hearts, carrot sticks and stuffed ol
ives, together with hot rolls of your
own making. Let the dessert course
be coffee and an eggnog pie?a
creamy yellow chiffon pie with a
thin coverlet of whipped cream and
a dusting of nutmeg over the top.
If you're planning a tea, remem
ber that hot Russian tea is super
fine with cinnamon doughnuts, split
and toasted. For informal evening
affairs at your own fireside, hot cof
fee cake with currant jelly and cof
fee will be enough to serve. If you
have a wooden cheese board or a
handsome plate, show it off with a
collection of cheese and crackers
and a bowl of assorted fruit like that
shown in the picture above.
Russian Tea.
(Makes 14 servings)
1 cup sugar
I cup water '
1 S-inch stick cinnamon
% cup orange juice (3 oranges)
8 tablespoons lemon juice (2 lemons)
1 12-ounce can pineapple juice (1%
cups)
1% quarts water
1 cup strong tea infusion
1 lemon (for garnishing)
Boil 1 cup of the water, with sug
ar and stick cinnamon for S min
utes. Ada juice 01
oranges, lemons,
and pineapple
juice. Boil orange
and lemon rinds
in % quart of the
water for 3 min
utes. Strain and
combine with the
fruit juice mix
ture. Add the re
mainina 1 miarf
of water. s2?t aside. Just before
serving, heat the fruit juice mix
ture and combine with the tea in
fusion, To make the infusion, pour
one cup of rapidly boiling water
over 4 level teaspoons of tea. Let
steep 3 minutes, then stir briefly
and strain. Serve the tea hot in
tall glasses or cups (% cup to a
serving) and garnish each with a
slice of lemon.
Eggnog Pie.
1 tablespoon unflavored gelatin
14 cup cold water
4 eggs
1 cup sugar
V4 teaspoon salt
14 cup milk
14 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla
14 cup whipping cream
Let gelatin soak in cold water for
S minutes. Beat egg yolks until
light; stir in 14 cup of sugar and
salt. Gradually add milk and cook
over boiling water until it is the
consistency of custard, about 5 min
utes. Stir constantly during cook
ing. Add softened gelatin to custard
mixture, stirring until it is com
pletely dissoldtd, then add nutmeg
and vanilla. Chill the Oiling until
it is partially congealed. Beat egg
whites until frothy. Add 14 cup of
sugar gradually, beating until the
meringue stands in stiff peaks and
will not flow when the bowl is par
tially inverted. Fold meringue into
partially oongealed custard mixture,
pour mto a baked 0-inch pie shell
and chill in the refrigerator tor 1
hours or longer. When ready to
serve, spread a thin layer of
whipped cream over the top and
sprinkle with additional nutmeg.
Streusel Coffee Cake. -
(1 9-inch cake)
1V4 cups general purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
14 teaspoon salt
14 cup sugar
Vi cup shortening
1 egg
Vi cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
Sift flour once before measuring.
Then sift flour, baking powder, salt
and sugar together. Cut in shorten
ing with two knives or a pastry
blender (or rub it in with the fin
gers) until the mixture is like coarse
cornmeal. Blend in well-beaten egg
mixed with milk. Than stir in va
nilla and beat just enough to mix
well. Pour the batter into a well
greased 9-inch layer cake pad.
Sprinkle with streusel topping. Bake
25 to 30 minutes in a moderate oven
(375 degrees).
Streusel Topping.
Vi cup brown sugar (firmly packed)
2 tablespoons flour
2 teaspoons cinnamon
Vi cup chopped nuts
2 tablespoons butter (melted)
Mix flour, sugar and cinnamon to
gether. Blend in melted butter and
stir in chopped nuts.
Pecan Confections.
(Makes 2 dozen 2-inch cookies)^
1 egg white
1 cup brown sugar (firmly flacked)
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup chopped pecans
Beat the egg white until it will
stand in stiff peaks, then gradually
beat in with a rn
tary beater the
brown sugar. Stir
in flour, salt and
chopped pecans.
Drop the mixture
from the tip of
a spoon onto
greased cooky
sheets, spacing
the cookies at
least 2 inches apart. Bake in a
very slow oven (275 degrees) for J
25 minutes. Cool somewhat, then
remove from the tin onto a cake
cooler covered with waxed paper.
Cheese Beard.
1 3-ounce package cream cheese
1 t-ounce package Liederkranz ?
cheese
1 8-ounce package Swiss cheese
4 114-ounce wedges of Camembert i
cheese
12 radishes
Crackers
Arrange as desired on a large
plat* or wooden cheese tray.
Rice Rings.
S cups cooked rice (hot)
% teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon butter
2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons cream
Add salt and melted butter to
cooked rice. Beat egg yolks with
cream and stir into rice mixture.
Grease 6 individual ring molds and
pack rice in (irmly. Place in pen
of hot water for 8 to 10 minutes. I
Remove from molds and All centers
with beef Creole.
BREAKFAST ON SUNDAY
MORNING
If Sunday morning is the oc
casion for a leisurely family get
together, why not make it the
high spot of the week with a
fresh-from-the oven plate of hot
muffins? You'll find recipes for
delicious fruit muffins, spicy ten
der cinnamon rolls in Miss
Howe's Cook Book "Better Bak
ing." There are dozens of other
recipes tor quick and not-ao-qulek
cakes and cookies in this booklet,
all of them tested and approved
for their goodness.
To get a copy for your recipe
shell, send 10 cents in coin to
"Better Baking" care of Eleanor
Hows, 919 North Michigan Ave
nue, Chicago, Illinois.
/""UTOUTS like this are a happy
*-J idea to be used tor plants you
grow indoors. You can add inter
est to the flowers you keep in the
house and to the attractiveness of
your rooms as well if you use
boxes in clever designs like these.
Bits of plywood are cut out with
jig or coping saw, painted and
nailed together to make the boxes.
? ? ?
Pattern ZSJ07. 15c. bring* the kitten,
pup and hen and rooater motlta together
with the needed directions. Send order to:
AUNT MARTHA
Box IK * Kansas city, Mo.
Enclose 15 cents for each pattern
desired. Pattern No
Name
Address
At Close Speaker's Remarks
Had Become a Nightmare
The dinner came to an end, and
the chairman called for silence.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I will
now call upon Mr. Long, our dis
tinguished guest, to speak."
The guest rose and was greeted
with polite applause.
At the end of ten minutes he
was still speaking, but when at the
end of half an hour he had not
finished the patience of his listen
ers began to get exhausted.
In the end the speaker wound up
with: "Speaking is nothing to
me. As a boy I used frequently
to talk in my sleep."
"And now," a drowsy voice was
heard to exclaim, "you talk in
ours."
Vatican Currency
Under the terms of a financial
convention ratified between the
Vatican and Italy in January, 1931,
the Vatican state issues currency.
Recently, new coins bearing the
head and armorial markings of
Pope Pius XII were put into cir
culation. The Vatican coins are
of the same value, material and
dimensions as the Italian coins, the
only difference being in the mint
ing.
HoJp to Mbn Matisse of v
[FEMALE]
PERIODIC
COMPLAINTS
Try Lydla R. Pink ham's Vegetable
Compound to help relieve monthly
pain, headaches, backache and
ALSO calm Irritable nerves due to
monthly functional disturbances.
Pink ham's Compound Is simply
marvelous to help build up resist
ance against distress of ^difficult
dsys." Famous for over 00 years!
Hundreds of thousands of girls and
women report remarkable benefits
WORTH TRYING! ,
Nothing for Nothing
Set it down as a fact to which
there are no exceptions, that we
must labor for all that we have,
and that nothing is worth posses
sing, or offering to others, which
costs us nothing.?John Todd.
MOTHERS...
mmm.
mMMm
gs;gT'?Poqw*dy?s
Indispensable Supports
Of all the dispositions and habits
which lead to political prosperity,
religion and morality are indis
pensable supports.?Washington.
next time in Baltimore
HOTEL ?? HOTEL
PERFECT HOTEL SERVICE
? Homtlik* Atmoipku*
Bites begin it $2.00 per day
Too Cam Alm> tmfor
VJUMM|C U ? ANCIl5oil