OUR COMIC SECTION |
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By
C. M. Payne
WHO
J PIE. POR BREAKFAST ?1
f MO! J
\ FOR UJNCH? YES? r
\ E.AT YOUR J
^ PORRIDGE,
f OKAVI-T
( "THEN &IMME
I MY LJUHCH
V^how j
okay
okay,
okay
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p
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J. Millar Watt
HE SHOULDN T HAVfc
' TAKEN LESfOKJS IN
DEPORTMFNTEpV
L FROM A { $/
a FOREIGNER
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W+4V
NOT"
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PEGA use
COOK) APTER -
JPN
- W WAS /
DEPOCPTSO !
SPENDTHRIFT
? III i
"Grace spends an awful lot of
money." -
"Not a saving grace, then?"
That'i Different
"Mr. Swiggs?Er?ah, that is, can
?er I?will you??"
"Why, yes, ray boy; you may
have her."
"How's that? Have whom?"
"My daughter, o' course. You
want to marry her, don'tiyou?"
"No, sir; I just wanted to find out
it you would endorse my note for
$100."
"Certainly not. Why, I hardly j
know you."
I
NOT VERT GOOD AT THAT
"He is as good as his word."
"Yes, but he uses such shocking
bad language."
ISw
UPhfflipr Jr
ALL FOB THE BEST
>
Apathy has flown the coop,
ynconcern has hit the floor;
Selfishness has looped the loop,
Dopiness is now no more;
Silent are the "gimme" boys,
AH obstructors get the "bird";
Gone is all light-hearted poise?
REALISM is the word!
. .. J - 41
Now it isn't mere routine,
When the dangers round us roH,
Just to gambol on the green
\ Waiting for a Gallup poll;
Nutty rallies now are out.
Stilled are antis this and that;
On soap-boxes f;w now spout . . .
We're a nation AT JVE BATI
in.
Sleeping at the switch is not
Now the leading enterprise;
Mikes no longer get red hot
From the breath of wild-eyed
guys;
Arguments are down the sink.
Discord's had a run-out pill;
And no little h ink-dink
Tries to thwart a nation's wilL
IV.
Now committees full of men
Who are anti-everything
Take the. count of "eight . . . nine
. . . TEN!"
(Though some paid officials cling);
Pussyfooting now is out,
Half-baked ranters stop their acts
All the country, there's no doubt,
Sees the truth, and faces FACTS!
V.
Hedgers crawl into a crack.
Compromisers slink away;
Ten per centers now fall back,
Trimmers haven't much to say;
Racketeering labor rats
(And a lot of bosses, too),
Cease their very costly spats
Under the red, white and blue.
VI.
Critics crawl Into their shells,
Know-It-Alls now take the skids;
Experts have bad dizzy spells.
Grown-ups do not act like kids;
Sunk are armchair leaders all.
Hooey has been booted far;
Now at last we stand or fall
SEEING THINGS JUST AS THEY
ARE!
I - ' ? ? -
ON THE SPOT
("In case of an air raid alarm:
Lie down immediately on your stomv
ach . . .")
About his paunch Dad was always
defiant,
But now he wishes he was much
more pliant!
?Debchi.
? ? ?
New York will attempt to jail any
body refusing to get off the street?
during an air raid warning. If thi:
is really tried we predict that al
traffic will be tied up by long line?
of Black Marias taking folks to th?
hoosegow.
* ? ?
THE CALL
Remember the Arizona!?
The Cassin, Downes and Shawl
For every one the Japs got
Let's make it three or four!
Remember the Oklahoma? ,
And good old Utah, tool
Each hit makes more efficient
Old Yankee Doodle-do.
? ? ? ,
FLEET SHAKE-UP
(With apologies to F.P.A.)
Kimmel and Martin and Short?they
are out!
Heeding the umpire's cry;
Out, one-two-three as the scorekeep
ers shout
"Tinker to Jacobs to Pye!"
? ? ?
PEGGED
You must pay the piper
Is what I was taught,
And I've always found it
A distressing thought.
But now, with costs soaring,
I think it is nice
To know that the piper
Cannot raise his price!
?Anne Linn.
? ? ?
If the rubber ibortafe fete
serious what will this country
do for chicken sandwiches. And
slam chowder?
? ? ?
AIN'T IT SO
Of all poor friends on whom to call
The "friendly neutral" topa 'em alL
? ? ?
Elmer Twitchell says that nothing
unnerves him as much as Mayor
LaGuardia urging everybody to let
nothing disturb them.
? ? ?
The Wright brothers 38 years ago
at Kitty Hawk first proved a heavier
than air machine could fly and it
is this department's guess that if
the brothers could have foreseen the
future, they would have scrapped
the thing before the try-out.
? ? ?
"Golf and Tennis Balls to B<t.
Rationed."?Headline. /
How can we make theeey'all-out
drives without them?
? ? ?
Bathing suits and rubber bathing
caps are to be rationed, too, begin
ning next month. This was the first
news to arouse Ima Dodo to a reali
zation the country is really at war.
? ? ?
Yale has pledged its support of
country in the war. Kit a lot
of football fans will put more faith
in Harvard and Princeton.
Pup Tea Towels
Make Kitchen Gay
No. Z9230
"CITUATIONS" are what these
0 two pups seem to get into
every day of the week. Embroider
them on that new set of tea towels
and let their antics decorate the
.kitchen towel raok. Single stitch
and outline make these motifs;
the bows would look well if ap
pliqued.
? ? ?
As 219230, 15 cents, you receive designs
for the 7 tea towels and a matching pane
bolder. Send your order to:
AUNT MARTHA
Box 1M-W Kansas City. Mo.
Enclose 15 cents for each pattern
desired. Pattern No
Pattern No
DON! BARK
... aoa i ooatDl Ml pteaeaot, w??Ui
nlief from a cough do* to ? cold wHb bra
Smith Brother! Cough Dropa Yon get ihal xe
lief for oalf a aickd a boa. Why pay moae? 4
Both kiade taacc dehoow: Black or MeachoL i
SMITH BROS. COUGH DROPS J
^HACK OR MENTHOL-5li9
The Restful Side
You will succeed best when you
put the restless, anxious side of
affairs out of mind, and allow tfaa
restful side to" live in your
thoughts.?Margaret Stowc
m
^Kf?
Light From Unseen Stan
On a moonless night, the earth
receives more light from the stars
that cannot be seen by the unaided
eye than from those that are visi
ble. ,
RALEIGHS
A FEW OF THE MANY LUXURY PREMIUMS
RALEIGH SMOKERS GET
V
Delaxe BrN|? Tabl*
with genuine inlaid wood
top. Automatic leg locks.
tteeearare. Beautifully deo- I
orated. Platinum bands. 5
Shaker; Pitcher; lee bnri.
Maw AM?ricaa CMk
look. 1024 p*?ea full of
rocipea. Eaay-to-follow
instructions.
Cilt-Wge4 CMgrtM |
OMltty PlayiM Carte.
Smart new fancy back*
(our choice).
Lamm with whit? per? I
Lain 1mm. Solid wmiie 5
trim. Shad? of Umm fin- f !
iah parchment.
?*|Fit UUABLEJ
j
S199D?fMMS?ffacsStM*t
may now be obtained through
Brown A Williamson. Send
133 Raleigh coupons foreach
dollar stamp. Defense Stamp
Album, shown aboaa. free
on reqooat.
Plat* Sifvarwara. 20
pieeea and walnut fiaiah
wood cheat.
TRY A PACK OF IMI nam. They're a grand
blend of 31 selected grades of choice Turk- ?
ish and Domestic tobacooe?made from the
more expensive, more golden colored leaves
that bring top prices at the great tobacco
sales. And that coupon on the back of every
pack is good in the U. 8. A. for luxury pre
miums. Switch to popular-priced Raleighs
today and write for. the premium catalog.
ism m Ktd Sbtn nd Omm N?Ids mr*
Tumday A BC Rtd
? u H| III ? B V I IB I fvl IB r
Kn 11111111 i ? I Vl i v iT/iMulfalil
MERE'S WHAT YOO DO
It's simple. It's fun. Just think up
a last line to this jingle. Make aura
y it rhymes with the word "got."
Write your last line of the
jinfle on the icverse ride of a
Balrifh package wrapper (or a
facsimile thereof), rign it with
your full name and addreaa. and
mail it to Brown k. Williemann
Tobacco Corp.. P. O. Bos 1700.
Louisville, Kentucky, poet
marked not later than midnight,
January 24, 10i2.
You may enter aa many last
linee aa you wish, if they are all
written on separate Raleigh pack
age wrappers (or facsimiles).
Prises win be awarded on the
originality and aptnaaa of the line yon writ*.
Judges' ddicu moat be accepted as final.
In case of ties, duplicate prise, will be
swarded. Winners will be notified by mail.
Anyone may enter (except employee, of
Brown A Williamson Tobacco Corp., their
adverting agents, or their families). AH
entries and ideas therein become the prop
erty of Brown A WSUamaoo Tobacco
Corporation.
^ n t. .1' ? aibf
< "Peter Piper picfcetfa pack j>
< tlfitk a caapaa aa tka back. S
< Heigh ns tka braadba pat j!
HERE'S WHAT VOV WIN
Too km 133 cluneal to win. If
rev Baud in mom than one entry, '
rcnr cbnncea of winning will h
that much better. Dca't delay. <
Start thinking right now. j
IMfrin. . . SURAS paaA
TIM prim. . . . WMwM
S prime af $1 AM . SAM aaaA
S prime ef SSJS . l&Maaah
1SS prime of a eartea
US MB S5SRM