Newspapers / The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, … / Aug. 2, 1906, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
The Yellow ac Published Bi-Wee kly. R. DON LAWS, C EDITOR and PROPR. The Sting of this inse5l is the univ :rsal remedy for ail known forms of political cussedr ess, and is good to take whether you need it or no! J. We send you amp VFAR'Q TRF.ATMRNT (26 doses) for THIRTY CENTS, and then the Stinger &ops kfoA mni-p rlimfs are JsllDDed in the slot. NOTE THIS. Please don't send stamps tions. We can't use 'cm in Remit bv draft, check, r ter, express or P. 0. money Ahvays write your name 'hlninlv and direct vour letters THE YELLOW J Moravian Entered Carolina on subscript our business. gistered let-border. and address to ' CKET, N. CV Phils though first class at Moravia n if alls, North as second class mail matter, in all other respects. PUBLISHED IN ENGLISH . ONLY About the Yellow Ja 2ket. This is the Yellow Jacket, the only, thing of its kind published oh earth. Its temperature is 200 in the shade. " - It preaches Republican h gospel so straight that every issue: brinjgs many old mm a c If you don't like it, you dpn t have to 4 take it. If you do like it you are hereby invited to subscribe to-day o tomorrow. Suppose you take a day off pretty soon -for instance, call it Yellow Jacket Day and call upon every one of. your neighbors to try this paper a year. We are after getting 150,0)0 new sub- in the next we want to get them? fed the teeth- take it be- scriptions to this paper jwitl three months. That's what do. Now will you help us to The Yellow Jacket has r ass! cutting stage. It is now over "ten years old and is getting older every two weeks. There are.no life lnsnranee features connected with it. You merely pay your it or not. Then vou will take it aerain. ... V -T - - i O xou aiways get wnax you pay ior, tnen tuc - papcr stups. vv ts u uat an uur suu- senhprsi this wav. even the PreiHpnt nt 4.1, TTAJ CAx I The Yellow Jacket don't crawl behind a tree to tars:. i Tx. .1 J J T j. i I Lt 1 1 1 At uuii l oust its crupper, noiamg Dacic to nrst see wnat somebody qlse is going Everybody in the United States ought All aVl cause it, is helDinsr to ficht "t.lieir nnliHnnl r i battles. - . iiivery JJemoerat should take it to keep track of the rascality and devilment of his own party. I 1 Jbverv FOOUllst shonlrf take t. Wanoa salvation. And everybody else ought to take it. beeanee (T-arir iccna -.Jrll v.'. ,i - - vw.uu swj.j iOOUC V J.XA uc H lie Li to the brim Avitli Originality Fun, Sar casm and Logical Reasoning. When you read this copy pass ft along w j 1.. ui,i&uuui, ij. yuu xuve one anotner, and if yoii don't make! a bluff an vwav n.i i i v i i. i If von ean n a f o-txr aoiiniA ' aroi) us a earH v ' . ' -ue puniics oi xne xeiiow Jacket m the xiuure, as in tne past, will be Republican. However, we belong to no mat, and shall reserve xne ngnt to be as independent as a. iiug uii ice on an matters that come up for public consideration. ! j ; mucker will continue to be corre- ------ w xcttexs will De tV pic ux Lne paper tor a vear. xi you receive -a corv of Hh vn Jacket, it is an invitation td subscribe Ynn will nfotAt. -i h r &v.u iiiu.c i.uu ana nerive mnro - r f - V 1 ' Jrw v miormation tor 30 cents than ; way you could spend it. J t Now, we want von to eTi A subscription to this llh IT irrin Ct t - 1- - We also wnnf rt o1 x "- L' ji i ,orv v uii i.ii sfTin n inn r 'her ita t--i 1 I, - - p "A " xitjignoors wnonl f you think iiiguL suoscrioe. r . : i tt tisji. Kuiuexning or us. n any other tis a 30-cent Send us a IX u "Aten neard the Demo crats say, .after elections wl en the" Re publican majorities loomed nn ViA: S theatTfn WaS Jhe c4e of it ,that the Republicans had bouarht their votes like cattle of nut itMU to be "bougit uple eattler A :Moderri Fable The .Crazy Engineer The Democrats arejaying a great deal of stress upon the alleged -fact that after spending fifteen or' twenty., years m the ins?ne asylum, their, party has again be come "safe and -sane" and for that rea son ihey think the country ought to elect a majority of Democrats to Congress this fall, and thus get ready to put the whole shebang in the1 hands of the Democratic party in 190S. Now let us suppose a case. Let uslsay, for instance, that here is a great railroad. On this roads- runs a heavy passenger r train, carry in g thou sands of human jDeings:: Several years ago a man was" employed as engineer on this train.- He made a few runs in safety, and then all at once he became crazy as a loon and dashed the train down an em bankment, Killing or crippling all on board. .The necessary repairs were made and the train was put back on the track. The crazy fellow was sent to an ' asylum and a new engineer employed -a man of steady nerve and cool calculating brain. The new engineer ran the train on perfect schedule time year in and year out with out any .mishap whatever. The passen gers felt that their lives were perfectly, safe when his hands were on the throttle. But look! Here comes the crazy fellow, lie appears to have gotten a little better and they have turned him out of the asy lum. He comes up and says: VI admit I went qrazy and wrecked the train. But l am $)t crazy now. I have again become 'sane and safe.' I want my job back.. It will be to the interest of all concerned if the managers of the road will kick out tie man who has been such a good and faithful engineer and put me back in the b. I will not cause any more trouble, know that fellow now at the throttle s been faithful and trustworthy and s done lots better than I did, but he is ble to crash into something any minute d kill'all hands and the cook if he isn't kicked out pretty soon. I am the man for engineer now. I am safe and sane. ' Kind and gentle reader, what would you think of the managers of that -road if they should turn off this good engineer and employ that crack-brained lunatic f You would certainly think they had done a mighty strange and foolish trick. Well, that is exactly what the Democrats' are asking the voters ot the United States to do. They want us to turn out the party that has been successfully running the government and put in the fellows who. busted the thing from preface to conclu sion and are now bragging of their -capa bility of managing things. Do you want the crazy engineer? If sorbegin by help ing to elect a Democratic Congress. : AN ORATION.' By TJncle. Sami Say, Comrades! "We are all ploding on for some great purpose in the claim of destiny -but you and I have little side schemes, and we work them out. All our earthlv affairs are houses of, sand we know that, but onpe in awhile we take pride in seeing that they stand as long as we remain. You have taken the Yellow Jacket or you have heard of the Yellow Jacket, and you know what idea it has in its bonnet. It is trying to make some music for the boys who believejn Republican principles. It is trying, in an original way, to enter tain, amuse and instruct, and, at the same time, keep' all the boys m line.. Our publication is peculiar in several ways; but the most peculiar is the fact that it carries no advertising. It depends alone on its subscription list for success, and at the very low price at which it is printed all tne people who want to see it make a big success must not only sub scribe themselves, but they must ask their friends to send along a yearly, subscrip tion. . . We send sample copies to all who want them. We are always glad to receive names of people .who might be interested. If you get a sample copy, if not already a subscriber, it is an invitation for you to send us the stujf so that you may help to swell our list. ; U. V It is our intention, this year to ' adid at least one hundred thousand names. We ,want you to take .time to-day to send us xne; names oi xnose wno might subscribe. We want you 'if you are not a subscriber to subscribe. We want you, if you are a subscriber, to send a copy for a year to some friend who will beinterested in this unique newspaper. f 'Ask and ye . shair receive, ' ' says the Good Book, and that's what we are doing, and we are talking to you. Come across! Gfet on the band wagon and hear us pipe our tuneful lays of melody, mush and mirxn. r :. :-:-! Not many years ago we heard rnucn about the Democratic -party; being pre sided?over by a : chairman who was way up in the councils of the Round Bale Cotton trust. And "by the way, do you know of any improvement they've made since -along that line?. Now don't "all speak at once. : I ' j: j: " -. CLUB EATES-FOTJR SUBS 1.00. lMy -Dear Nephews; and 'Nieces iI am prouder of "you to-day than ever before. As I hang my star-spangled beaver on the flagrpole.ahd walk "but; under the folds of the Star Spangled Banner to address you my heart swells -with joy and gladness at the thought of . having so :mimy : nice kinfblks who are willing-to: brave tlie dangers of a Fourth-o 'July celebration in my honor. I amc now one hundred and thirty years oldr-but-1 feel as nimble T as a bov. Ace only adds to my activity. Most men of -my age begin to grow lean and crooked and to walk withan uncer tain wobble, but I am jiist coming into my strength. My weigh in avoirdupois, is greater than ever beforehand the weight of my finger laid on international affairs will tip the scales in my favor every time. I have recently acquired several, million more nephews and nieces by adoption! They were out in the rain with no um brella, and some of them looked hungry. I got sorry for them and; took them in. Some of them don't know good manners yet, but they wilHmow by and by. They have never had a chance before. I just want to show the world what effect a little kindness will have on a down-trodden people. You, my own dear nephews and nieces, must treat them kindly. I said I was proud of you. That is so, but it don't mean every one. of you. There are a few . Judases in the crowd. Satan always had his drummers at the show, and he's got a big delegation in the United States at present men- who are trying to bemirch my name and-drag me down into the valley of dishonor and shame. When I went overhand began to iTust the old world superstitions out .of the Filipinos' jackets and to teach them some modern ideas of government, behold there arose the voices of Bryan and Bailey and Tillman and Carmack shouting "Im perialism!" and at their heels came a small army of seedy-looking sinners, with a sort of Polly-wauts-a-craeker lingo in their voices, yelling "Imperialism! Im perialism! Them's our sentiments too." Now you will please understand that I don't claim kin with that crowd. The smell of them is a stench to my nostrils. Not a drop of my blood flows in the veins of these modern Judases; they are the result of evolution the missing link be tween the tadpole and the' monkey. I thank heaven 4hat these "anti-imperialistic" monstrositie.s are in the "minority, and . that my people r are trustworthy and patriotic, full of that spirit which bears witness with my spirit ''that we are engaged in a good work. ' I don't know what to think of these folks who call : themselves Democrats. They keep insisting that they are my kin folks and -that they love me, ut "I will just be blamed if they don't have a mighty. strange way of showing their love. They always have plenty of advice to give me, but they never yet have helped me to accomplish anything of importance. The minute I put my hand to the plbw of progress and begin to move forward they grab me by the coat tail and. begin to yell "Whoa, Sam!" They swarm all over the field and get in the way of the Repub lican elephant which is pulling. the plow, of progress, and they try to make him t,urn: backward by throwing jeers and ugly names in his face. Now, good peo ple, let me tell you something. You have all read about the chambered Nautilus. You remember how he grew from-year to year and how he continued to build him self a new home every year, "each one nobler than the last."' Now in some 're spects I am like the chambered Nauti lus. I am-so constituted that I am bound to grow. It is the natural course of na ture working in and through me to ward the perfecting of an ideal free government for the inhabitants of the world. I consider that I've got a perfect legal and. moral right to expand, and it should be nobody 's business if I should take a notion after awhile to stretch my self to the full length of -the Western Hemisphere, until the icebergs would form in. my whiskers in Alaska and the mos qiiitos roost on my big toe at Cape Horn: I ' am . not concerning myself very much with the'mouthings of my Democratic ad visers. They don't know what is best for me nor what is best for themselves. The Republican party; .;has "proven itself to be my : good angel the representatives of my best interests and I am - go ipg to 'stand' by it" through tfiick andt5in - and give it my warmest endorsement. - Friends, I am-gIad?,to be able, on this occasion, to tell you that I am : not sorry for any step I have taken. ': My honor is unimpaired and my credit is good the world over. And it is my purpose to keep them so. : While the stars of heaven shine the I stars in my old coat will shine also. As long as the wind fans. the forest trees it will fan my old coat also, and wherever the shadow of that flag falls, there is free ground Jthere is liberty for one. and f or J all; .Geutlemeivr am the" expanding sort. rr "t l- . v ncr man that of these anties'toeep me from espand- . FittJW OI my f'Q.u uenhews and nieces T will o ing; and if, in the providence of God T am able to plant my. flag on the shores evejy-land, it will be a sign to all tl world, a. tongue speaking in everv lanl fnnfre ' 'nroclaiminV' thnf 1 sage, "Peace on earth ; good will to men.'' : ; The Good Old Way. ;1 he Republicans of the First Con ures sibnal district of West Virginia cliiu: to old fashioned ideas regarding Protection They are in that regard what Governor Cummins would call enemies of procrres, obstructionists; they are, in the parianco of Mr. Foss, of Massachusetts, obsoleUv But they seem to be wholly of one mind regarding-vthe political good sense of holding fast to the thing which h proved itself right and true and good. Accordingly in their convention last week they .resolved unanimously that 'TheennM Congres- slcf sej of) H id ai P( co d nef 1 ly due to the Republican policy of Protec tion, the bulwark of American ' Indus trial Independence and the foundation of American Development and prosperity, and to the maintenance of an honest, sub stantial, sound money system, insuring to wage earner and capitalists alike a stable return for toil and for investment by making every American dollar a gold dollar or its assured equivalent. "We call attention to the fact that the Democratic party, always the avowed enemy of the Protective Tariff, has, through its-leaders in Congress, renewed onslaught on this beneficent system and has announced its intention to continue its effort towards its overthrow. "We renew our faith in the policy of Protection to American labor, which" has, in protecting the home market, stimulated competition, cheapened production, given opportiuiity to the inventive genius of the people and maintained a high stand ard T)f wages. "We denounce the attempt to destroy this mainstay of American prosperity as fraught with grave dangers to our dis trict, the State and the nation.1 r ec a w cons to Say, Do YonJTcatl can has had a copy of the" Yellow Jacket sent to his desk. It seems to burst on tho Herald editor like a clap of thunder from a clear sky, to learn -that such a paper as the Yellow Jacket is published. This shows the asinine stupidity and woeful lack of information on the part of the Herald's, editor. All intelligent, well-m-formed editors have known of the Yellow Jacket for years, and some of the biggest Democratic editors in the United States read every word of every issue. But this Oklahoma nit-fly don't appear to have sense enough, to know a good thing when he sees it, so .he widens out his wings to a double column article, half a page long, in whicfh he fizzes and sputters about what a weak, vulvar, contemptible tiling the Yellow Jacket is. He declares that our language is too utterly ut. He-don't seem to understand that we choose language just according to the subject that we are going to handle. He should remember that we have nasty subjects to deal with when we tackle the devilment of the Democratic party. Say, Mister Herald, would you put on your best clothes to go out' to kill a skunk! Or, if you Had sense enough" to do: so, would you think of lecturing a gang of ballot-box stutters m belleslettres English! Indeed, it may not fall as a heavenly benediction on the Herald editor, when the Yellow Jacket lands', its lance into some mean trick of .the Democratic. party, neither does it fall as a heavenly bequest oh the head of an honest Republican, to be cheated out of the right to cast an honest vote and have it fairly counted Say Mr. Herald, do you hear? Z-V- . - "'-..-,V'. ; .-r- o ': CB RATOSFOTJR SUBS ?i.00.. r
The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Aug. 2, 1906, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75