V
iffi H lQ -a Ys) -a ,3 ll
Ik ) fflf
rtt-Mr
ill
K?Ublialied in 1878.
HILLSBOKO, N. C, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 'li. 1887
NEW SERII1K -VOL 9 NO 2
is u 7ri W m r iinn t. v r ll il! i V f i
I?
1 i
A Fragment.
BY K. ItMi'LE MOKE.
V-,.- 4 v,,r.- ft i-h:rii. eyes were -hin'ng-,
. . ;.iti.-'r.iU" iT.e-e were SWa; i:'),
, ' ' . 0-e ft IlilV V ,:'")
J . j , .k-J -ri fcKif f r:! !.
.' , !!. '-. crtt-hel ttTi -i jIVere
1.- li'l'-l nifters.
I :
! i -.uf a. I lier teet.
j..-- j -ui"l in : l-ri'- forward,
', :. i . --r'- i i f- u i ri .
. , , .!)- tr hair n-'i u i ver
w' ;. ' tii i f .t,j ri of your heart,
i f,. -:: w-wbit th'-n tlitming hotly,
I .-. -Uirry cy s nh fit,
j n.Vrifu-'tim.'iT- -tj iy
l ;,-, '.,0 tMTIIlbllllK. lllto 11 i J 1 1 .
v,t m ' '!!,-r. that ni'hf .lKr.
, " i l : 1- of i I !irr:'"l iaee,
j. . . : - ti'-r mi est jewel
' j r n '': wr t nee.
v. fvn-i of. v v.tir Ilr-t ojiern, ,
,1 w ,ii !i-r that your heart.
, ,,V 2 11. -hoill'l til rot) HIi'l 'jll i Vl'P
;.( un'U-r-tourii of art!
t'lioO.ilNG A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.
J!V K! HI KAN -MM.
"it' -of no uv," said Mrs. I : i F; wood
j i ;.:ivi-.v. "I can never lj'rri t liku
t:.it -ni. Ari l if K-lix nuri -s lit.r I
i'tr v t:t('ln''l
I )t-ii woo'l, at trifl, li'i'n! oin"
m, a.' di.-ifi, th ! oi-f' ur-:i if!-: v. t i
r.' I in 'Umikiv :it liis !oit licr.
u -.t mot hfi" s.ii'l lie, v is
with M :ulf!iiit'? 1 :i?t, -urn
-! . th:i' swto't 5inl lov.'1' !"
r-.i I:iliuooi! hu'l mum "imJ ;i
fi tii t Mot UIH'OMifMon t' !il;lM.
!! s:i ti . iiiir to in:i!io lit- iiiotio-r -t-n
t T f l - 111' illUill of his n'Ali ew-i..
jj.- i. fi f i ' ii 'If M":itcl in lovt- with
:vl . i r b'-awty, prop -l to i;.-r m ; h?
f , . . i :."it of 1 1 j in in it. Htiii b'oiiiit
i.' i' iii to I ):thwoi J H'lll to : '.'five
ti: iii'it'-l !:al I!i'-sili. An I M'l 1 ; ii
r-.!f i'1. as tiiroi" t c:tl nii'l inup'ii
!.'. :ts l a iff liitii'i'lf, lui'l iM'Vi-r
i! i. !':"! iut that Felix's ino! lie:- u ouid
' .eras teiiiieily iiml levo;,illv as
I . !x h;i ! '!on-.
u:t-s:i pretty, b'li-cveil oitl with
no ' 1 i 1 1 1 j 1 1 e in Ikt ciie.'k. lip- n-t
if ' "i ti, aio a pi'f 'fiisea'-s of buni!.sli-l
-.'i'!' t, i;ttr, whicii flonictl over her
- "'i. 'Ifi' lik'e a caM-atle i.-f el low
) i'ri ! io--s. ;' .
"M iv 1 enll you inother?" said Mal
'ine. pretlilv, vviifii.-he first ca ne to
lli.oo'! 1 lull.
'ilaiiil)." said Mr. I );i-!ivol,
';!". . "lint diii't you t; ink y.-ur l,:iir
woiii'l he nehter put up in a m l?'1
Ail the ;iris :it -trl'ol wme it so,''
- i 'i M ojcliiH', w just T:e!uati' l
floiii .M;iilaihe F..'le!es .-elnilir.' for
'uiik- la'!;e.-i. "Ami i.oli xly s.-s a net
1 iio-.' lotrf, trailing dres-es, too,"
'in! Mi. 1 ash wood, critieaMy eyinfj
ti.e f.v -h:iped train of Ma le'ine'.s
eiejiiii-eoltircd sm-i die-s. "In the
enmiii h, c! wo mostly wear our skiiU
"f :t n .tikin" length. "
M li-iine looked doubtfnllv down at
i.' lovely ires, with its llowuies and
t!:!'l!).
. "I have always worn trains,1' sho
.i i: "and ilofsn't it -eeui almost a pity
to ent tl.ein ..JVr1'1
".Iii't as you '!r:ii',n said Mrs. Dash
woo,. ciiiiliii viiblv.
Ma'leiinc did not enjov Iht v i -it to
1:vs;.u.i.i Hall h.a f so mueli :is slm nad
!"'!t"d; andM's. I ),,si, v on I in w trd 'y
(!':! imii'', that of all .!auhte: s in
ht'V wi'oni Felix eo , poxiidv have se-
'-d M s U' -If..;-.' . us the' least sat-:-f
a ti i . J'ut ii i:. . - ceeui red to her
V--' v' e did not (ide fa horn ail the
''';!; s of Ma ielinc's cdiaraeter; iior
t: :t! - e wi's looking for n woman's
ti .t w!' I virtU'-- in a "drl of seventeen,
l:t"i-,! of a boardinu-s dietol.
"I d"ii't aiiiMve," said s'm s'itlly,
f i vvl'o de on fas and re a 1 po
' nil 'fay, in-trad of triti to learn
I.o'isi'keepin; ; and a-tor ih tlle
k. all tl.M Kei siiii'ton stitch and
! patterns in er. ation won't tak
b.e il in lay estiniation, at least
. i'fi,,j plain stitching ami stoeino--ii
t:;. Madeline Wesifoid and lean
i. never beeoine congenial!''
' i'oi. n.oiher --"
1" Kehx Dushwood's i ii fi ii i to aniazo-
ii':.t. I'ihcvit, the con vt-r-ation was
'!' in' r a ted by Madiine hnself in
-' o;T, - J, croani serr diess, with
;!- 'e.v . e nil'v tres-e- of fraill
;: ei tbi-'.ed fu.v, and a new flitter
' r,r er-.
'1 tb l' 'i mean ti be a listener," said
,ve . lit 1 ua- ; a,f :,-!, ,.p in the shady
it av inj- ...m. Mill win-n I beard niV
! ame I eo-ddn't help sittini: still
f '' i Jn-eimii? ; and perhaps it is ju-t
u' d. 1 I have feared this for a lon
1 ' I am .,uire e- rtnin of it now.
' f eft like .Mrs. 1 )a-h w(od ?''
F ( f.r k." said the frigid iuat-
s; iv. "said Madeline, softly.
' i i.ave liked ou to love mo.
' oa do tu-t wi-h mo to marry Fo-
t "df you w i-li tno to answer sincere
,v' ' vtid Mrs. las!iuoo 1 "no."
i u I v(.-,'t niHiTV him." said
y e
luie. - i ' . i : ; of the little tuitpioi-o
.: -v u-'i i . i i, .,1 eivm her ii r an
'- tt. ent l iiiin tho-e bright, s.veet
'. ' " 'iieii sf. me I so lojjjr al, so lon;
"1 will marry r.. man whoso
or ;s ij. t r adv to take me into her
lp M ed heart-'"
t!:e fiij::,j;etne! I wa- leoken'ofT,
a:- ' Madtd.ne vvt nt l.otne a a;n.
''lii't f et. Friiv." eo.ax.'.d she.
! s H dea! better'! 'V ou, if you can
k-t us d to in,- idea.' If ever I'i-.ave a
:her.i;s.'aw. 1 mean that she -hall
Hi" oi,, o dear, v !"
t, ,
toss o. itlir.w of his heart's t-ar-
e p s vi-ry eoo.iv .
"I had ho; d that vou wou'd lea' n tr
!nv
I1'.: Madtd.ne." i,e said. "ludi-.-d. I
" ' u kn-:y how any one .could help it
J' " if ..u .-au't ujiv, there's an end o
f
" mail r :
nl. .. i 1 v
.ou a leu oas .virs. nashwooi re-
l,-evl a 1. tu-r froin ('r.usin' Ti.s
4 UIJ- laJi' from the West, Cuus
ua, a
in
rh( sj;a was coming toDashwood Hail
to acitiamted uith her unknown
relations. 1 ne old lady's heart leaned
up wphin lier. .
"i'er aps Felix will take a fancy to
The-;, is." -aid .;.; to hei.self. " "
And -!;. in id- ,astlJ to r,.furnjs, tho
lifle bu.- b mdoir. hlltbe tinv cou.-erv-atory
uiti, f:e-h flowers for the thill
November days were beinuinir to
loam a ross tiie l.o;ion now and lay
out a pror, umme of amiem.-iit for tLo
promi-i'd m-st. V
Cou-i a l'i e-pia came, a b!aek-eved
jriii nearly six ! tt hijfh, who laui'ned
like a pea! of bell-, talked all the slan
t.f tie-, modern v-.ur hvtv, and dec'ared
ofoniy that she found the Hast unutter
ably s'ow.
I shouldn't have come here at all if
1 htidu't an idea of (ruiii ou Ihe sta-e,M
said -he. "1 suppo-e it's the best place
to s'udy up and tret new ideas.'"
".Mv dear,1' t-a'd -iMda:ied Mrs.
l)ashwood, "why on earth should you
-o (in to the - the sta-?"
"iiecau,-- I like it," haid Thespia in
dilTerentlv. Aiiparen'ly Cou-in 'J'hesia liked Fe
lix D t-hwood also. She followed hiru
out even to the stables -horses, -he de
ed in-I. were 1 her dliirht; she chatted
witii him in the hnr, lire-lighted du-ks;
she sauej- dashing ballads to the piano
for ids e-peeiai delectation ballads
I' at were widely diil'erent from poor
Madeline's dreamy nocturnes and soft
s mat s; she openly declared t.vat "he
wa-i vej-y nicest fellow she had met
since she er.-sse I the Hi- River."
O
l'o- Mr-. Dashwood'a maternal
he. at sank within her.
"Felix," she said, on one of the rare
twi i hts during which Mr. Dashwood
was not monopolized by his loud-voiced
cou-'o . "I do hope you won't become
interest d in 'Thespia Clifton."
He .-miled. s,
"Mother," said he, "vour counsel
comes too late. I am already 'inter'
t-tr 1.
as
you call it, in my cousin
Thes'da.
i
"Felix," sho almost screamed, 'you
are not - engaged?"
"Yes, mother, I am engaged. Was
not that the Very thing for which you
Wished?"
Mr-. Dashwood burst into tears.
'A girl who laughs like a plow-boy,"
paid -he "a girl who is determined to
go on the stage a. eirl who suggests
Improvements in oms very stables, and
calls us E i stern ladies lan awful si-rbt
too slo.vl' Fidix, Felix! ou will break
my heart 1"
"It seems to me, mother," sa'd tho
young man, with a shrug of his 'shoul
ders, "that you are very dillicult to
please. Madeline Westf r 1 did not suit
vuii, and this young lady from tho
Vst "
Mrs. Dashwood lifted her hand uep
recatingly, and began to sheil a few fee
ble tears.
, "Felix!" she sobbed: "oh. Felix! I
have been so foolish! If this girl were
only gone if you were only re-engaged
to Madeline -L think I should be quite,
quite happy again! For indeed 1 did
not know how sweet, ami womanly and
perfect dear Madeline was until "
"Fntil it was too late.'1 quietly ut
tered her son. "But here is Thespia.
Let I er speak for herself.'1
Miss Thespia diftoti came in like a
Crust of wind. ilrai-inr one of the house
dogs by ti e collar.
"He's . lame, I think." said shenois
ily. "I brought him in to look at his
foot by the lamplight. Kh? What!
Mis. Da-hwoo
the d'n-kens is
I cr ing ! Whv, what
the matter with urn
all?" t -
' Thespia." said Felix gravely; "my
mother wishes to ask you a few ques
tions." "The catechism, eh?" said Miss Clif
ton, comfortably seating herself. "Well,
drive on, cousin Dashwood. A fair
li Id and no favor, eh?"
"Is is it true," whimpered the old
ladv. "that you are engaged?"
"Of course I'm engaged." nodded
the iair Amaon. "And. what's more,
we are to be married in April."
"Mai r ed !" ga-s ed tl e p or old la
dv. "Oil, Thespia, Thespia. give up
the ma l idea! You are not suited to
him. Your tastes do not agree; "you
never, never would 'make him happy!"
"How do vou know?" blurted out
Thespia. "You never saw him in vour
life."
"Never saw him !" echoed Mrs.
Da-hwo.td. "Never saw my own son!''
"U;.t it isn't your own son !" said
Thespia. iml tlereiitly. "It's Major
Miles Keat'iv, yd Feadville, 'ol rado,
that I'm eiigaj-Hl to. Your Eastern
men can't In id a candle to him !"
"Thank heavn!" cried- poor Mrs.
Dashwo d; "thank heaven!"
"So s.iy," remarked Miss Thespia,
who was now bu-ied in examining the
8 .tter-dig"s foot.
"And now." faltered Mrs. Dashwood,
with averted face, "if Madeline Would
only forgive you. dear Felix "
"I am engaged o Madeline as close
ly as ever," said Pa-h .vood. "1 ioved
her oo dearly ever to give her up."
- "But but will she ever pardon
mt r
"Trv her and see." said Felix, laugh
ing. Madeline came back tae next day, all
smiles and sunshine, and t an into the
old lady's wide-open arm.
"Dear, dear motht-r." said she, "I
shall be so gl: d if vou will ouly love mo
with all your heart."
"Indeed, indeed I will!" said .the old
lady, jovously. "Of all daughters in
the world, you shall be dearest to me."
For Mrs. Dashwo d had arrived at
the conclusion that it is a disastrous
thing to meddle with the cut reut of true
lore.
"Papa
so kind..
said Miss" Bina
aii t Europe last
broa i : "he took u
summer, ami as :or snopp.ng expense
he give me bianc mrtnge at all the
stores and never grumbles; at the bills.
Dear nana." HutiLtU:
MISSING LINKS.
I , York is said to be the third Gvr-
'.niau city in the world.
; (iermany has a population, of 40.40.-r.H-.
against i.jjj bv the census of
'(he chewing :nm yearly used bv a
certain family of eiht persons in Miu
. ne-fita costs loi..
Flic average eo-t per scholar of the
text-books in the South Carolina schools
is 10 a year.
! A ailors ciiajwd is to be built in New
York by money left by V. IL.Yander
bilt for that purpose. I
It is -aid by a competent atrtfioritv
that men spend more money for hats
r tlmu woini:u do for bonnets."
An Arkansas man whittled a bullet
; out of a plur of tobacco and shot it
through the body of a wildcat
! The homestake Mining Companv, of
: the lilack Hills, D..T., is the largest iu
j the world, and employs 3,000 men.
j Door-knocks of the old-fashioned kind
t are once more appearing on the doors
of fashionable New York residences.
j Several Alabama papers want the
; state legislature to pa-s a law requiring
every man to produce a tax receipt be-
t .. '.. -
lore voting.
v 5
The Woman's Missionary Society of
the Presbytery of Erie raised ji'.WO
more for missions in the past year than
in the one previous.
At Atlanta. 0., has been formed an
as-ociation of young ladies who are
sworn to do every thing in their power
to abolish the "parlor-beau" fashion.
The editor of a (leorgia paper says
liberty is always pictured as a woman
because liberty to survive must be vigil
ant, and there is no blind side to a
woman.
The bOo French army cats whose duty
it is to catch mice in the clothing
store-houses, are to have their rations
reduced, since they have become too fat
and azy.
Parties will shortly engage in excava
ting lands about White Plains, N. Y.,
in search of treasures that are supposed
to have been buried there years and
years ago.
Tiie Indian women of the Lower
Brule agency have their weekly sewing
circle, interchange local news and tell
stories about absent sisters, just like
white women.
A citizen of Rockland, Me., has a
brierwood pipe which he found embed
ded in a large mass of salt at the bot
tom of one of the water tanks of the
old frigate Sabine.
The lio-ton i'llot thinks that the first
dealer in any staple commodity who
makes the announcement "No English
goods sold here" will rind himself over
whelmed by a surprising run of trade.
Two lighthouse keepers on the North
Carolina coast quarreled about the
color of the sea and dul not exchange
another word for three months, when
both were discharged by the govern
ment. An artist's idea of desolation the
miners' deserted cabins in places near
Pittsburg where old mines or oil wells
have been abandoned, doors wide
open, window panes broken, and rooms
empty.
A Minnesota man ays that Indians
don't get drunk because they like
liquor, but because they think it an
honor. If this is true, the average red
man takes great pains to disguise his
di.-like for fire-water.
In Wyoming county. New York, the
fruit evaporating industry has com
pletely died out. For awhile much
money was made in the business, but so
many people went into it that a decline
was inevitable, ,
In 10 there were 623 Indians in
Maine, of whom oT'2 were males and
ol; females. Every able-bodied Indian
in the state has a dog, and every In
dian who is not able-bodied has two,
says the Lewiston Journal.
The fiber of the pita plants', which
grow in great abundance in Honduras,
is used by the natives for various pur
; poses. It is converted into thread for
; sewiiif boots and shoes, and into nets,
I lishlines and cordage. The finest and
! most costly hammocks are also made, of
it. Small quantities w Inch ha e been
. sent to this market ha e been mauu
j faetured into handkerchiefs, laces, rib
j b-ns. false hair and wigs.
I While a jeweler wa chatting to a
New York reporter a colored lady, at
- tired in the latest devices ,d fashion.
purchased a brilliant and planked dow n
, JfiM1 without a . murmur. "Some of ,
our be-t e:i-t 'Uist-are colored people," ;
; said the jeweler. "When they have ;
; money they wear good clothes and :
i good jewelrv. Diamond earring- are :
get otl" better on a dark background, ;
j and the colored ladiV- understand it. ;
The C.tllicoon (N. Y.) F.rho has the
I Tounge-t compositor on record. She j
is oniv y.-ar- "Id and -et.- typr ea-ily, j
but can not empty her "slicks." "Iu- :
credible .as it mav -.-em." savs tho :
i editor of the F-'i. "the little typeset- :
' ter often set from me to four tick- :
fuls from our manu-rript, s.m-t:mes ,
j correcting a -lip in oar grammar or
i spelling, and i- never a-happy as when :
1 sitting at the case ; helping papa." " j
i
' i
A well-known doctor of divinity, not j
low 'living, was, like many of us. reti
cent on the subject of age. and his youth- j
, ul grand-on was. like other children.
rurious about the same subject. At
! ;he table one day out burst the que- i
non: "Grandfather, how old are you?" j
I How plainly I hear the familiar, deli be- i
rate accents: " hy. Eddie. I am more '
ihanoo." What! 'More than tk and j
aut dead yet?" Boston lUcorJL i
Rattlesnake and Itat.
"1 ".vas fortunate not long sine in
rapturing, without injury, a very fine
specimen (,f t he rattle-nuke stn-cies of
ts pt dia. 'Wishing to study t!ie habits
of tiiis -ecies, i did not take the usual
pi.-.-au:e.n of extra .ting the por-on
fangs, but placed him in a large, strong-ly-butlt.
w iie cage. From the dav of
;,- Uipri-O'imeUt he rxhi'bited tlie ut-mo-t
mditb remv to hi- -urroundings. -Ad
da iie wt.mid lie coiled up in . one
corner of his cage, taking no notice of
liv sle--nce utiles- touched bv a switch.
t-emed as it the switch had some
peculiar c'.Teet upon the reptile, as, un
i eit g ; niciied bv it, his rattles instantly I
-ounded. and he became the mo-t per
fect eiiioo :imeut of rage that I have ever
Sift!. '
"To -apply the reptile with food. I
obtained several common toads, wnich
I had noticed served for food for some
species of snakes, and of course. 1 ex
pected they would prove dainty morsels
for in- majesty the rattled When
placed in tiie cage the toads s'uowed no
signs oi tear, nor did the snake take
auv notice of them. I thought this
j might be caused by a loss of appetite on
) tiie part of the rattler, so I determined
i to let the toads remain in the cage for a
dav or two, and note results. Hut the
.tit... ..... .;. i.-.i
i.iuu .-ii.iAi: .i. ii o i iouv. li liil in, aim iu
a short time they were jumping upon
the snake's body, and even iierched
themselves on Ins head, without excit
ing the slightest resentment at their
presumption. In fact, his lordship's
head strtiued to be a favorite resting
place for the toads.
"Aft r;tvvo or three days had passed
I took the toads from the cage and gave
them their liberty. I next obtained a
large rat. The snakejn the meantime
had maintained his attitude of placid
iutlillerence to his surroundings. No
sooner was the rat placed in His care
than it exhibited every appearance of
fear. It crouched in a corner as far
away from the snake as the cage would
i permit, and remained there trembling
: and wat hing its enemy.
I "Tie- .snake, how ver, on the appear
',' a nee of the rat, exhibited the first signs
1 of animation tiat 1 had noticed since
' his imprisonment His head, slightly
j elevated, vibrated from side to side;
I every muscle of his body seemed in a
qtiiver of expectance; the rattles gently
vibrating, kept up a low, monotonous
sound. The w hole appearance of tho
snake recalled vividly many of tiie
stories of snake-charming that I had
heard or read.
"Just when the srinke was in this atti- '
tude the rat opened the tragedy by sud
denly, with great swiftness, springing
across the cage and upon the snake.
Without pausing a second it sprang
back and resumed its original position
in tiie corner. The snake gave a slight
start as if surprised when the rat struck
him, but his attitude for the moment
was unchanged.
"Gradually, however, the movements
of the snake ceased, and in a brief time
after the rat struck him he fell on his
side and died without a struggle. An
examination of the reptile showed two
wounds through the back of his head,
corresponding with the teeth of the rat.
I could not find the heart to kill the rat,
but gave him the right to life ami liber
ty, w hich I thought he had well earned.'
Youth's Companion.
When a Kansas editor takes his nfTi
davit that he saw a gi asshoppei light
"down on the back -of a robin and
lift Mm two feet high, in an efl'ort
to crfrry him otF, iCis .simply one soli
tary instance of tiie wonderful richness
of the soil of -that State. Next year
they are going to tame the grasshopper,
and use him to hunt ruts.
.A Portrait of Henry Clay.
Mr. Clay ws tall, ,nd broad-shouldered
without eingx bulky or fleshy,
and when at all excised was of stately
and commanding presence. Though
his long limbs were loosely put together,
yet his manner was neither awkward
nor uncouth, nor even embarra-sed: on
the contrary, it was easy and natural,
and wholly unpretentious; it was tho
easy, nonchala' air of a man accus
tomed to the w..vs of t4je world, and
conscious that he was at lea-t the peer
of the foremost ia every crowd in wnich
he happened -to be. Indeed, mv own
opinion is that he was never
n tlie
s hghtest degree, even in his eanv
youth, awed bv the pre nee of any
one: he never veeilled U feel, and lllV
'belief is he never feit, that he wa-ever
at anv tima in the nre-ence of anv o?ie
-
superior to himself. . And therefore he
was not onlv strikingly at ease, but at
home, wherever he was, w het i'er among
his neighbors or strangers, w.v-ther at
a social gathering. . or at the bar. .or as
the speaker of the Hou-e of R- oresen-
tatives. or on tne floor oi tae ena e
and
m
mv jU'tgm-n be wouiu nae
f
civ euua.iv
at home at a eomerenee
with
kiti"s and e:eiTors. He seem.-il
to hav.
not oTiiv an m-tim-t ve eon-
sciousness of hi- own -tn-ng
b
f
bis own -'.e. iai capa ;tv
for leadership. ;
Therefore he would take
himself a- if uneoii-e.ou-.y
the occasion, and as nutu:
peacefully as ,f it. wer- lp
C lead to
v. tiatever
arc I a s
. . -. ...-
wi.o c-ver
he had
a". :re ap
In b ed.
and few t;.e-re were, ri
seemed to be -nrpris--taken
the place f".r "
an
pea re-J
l' i li a Ve u.
a.nv app
. ::i.
Of -4
without
ticn on
trati'.'e
Pa--, r-
i -C: US-
par'
is if
lv to him-elf. th-
was a omet!
tig ll
is presem-
ind -'inanner that gave mm
an autt.m italive air. ana m.-toe u.iu
the time xho centra!, tne e mm tndmg
- - i i t . .
figure of the group abo'tt h.m. -fi'.
tniatsft.as '- fits f.S'.-.ul'jr
Dtc.iiLir Ctntnry.
- Frjfn
m 'Jt4.
The edi'or of I-n ! n Punch haj
fourteen daughters. No wonder tho
iHoor man can't see anvthing funav ia
uavmg t
bo i
fellows aw av from thd j
fro
t gate.
It- f. much like work.
AVIT AND HUM Oil.
"Pa, why is a girl called a belle?"
asked Clara. "O. I guess it is because
of her tongue." unfeelingly replied the
old man. Stv York 'fn.
The children are always up to little
expedients to help them out of a tight
place. Little C-y ear-old. one. of thes
chilly nights, tumbled into led without
paying that strict attention to his
evening devotions which his mother
hai taught him. "Why, my dear. yAi
didn't say your prayers, did your'
"You're right. 1 dul n't I said 'em
twice last night, so 1 wouldn't have to."
llirtfjrd Post,
"Isn't it awful!" exclaimed Bella,
looking up from the newspaper; one ,
hundred Cossacks lost" "Quite a
hardship, no doubt." ie-;Hnded Clara,
languidly; "but then you kiiow how
much worse it would be had they been
Newmarkets. Cassocks, you know,
haven't been fashiouable for -ome
time." livston Transcru-t.
(ientleman (in a furnishing store)
Collars, please, fifteen and a half
inch. Clerk (a dashing young man)
Collars, sir? Yes, sir. Now there
are two popular styles, sir; the "Apollo"
and the "Beividere." 1 wear the
"Apollo" myself, sir. Gentleman (very
much impre.-sed) Is that so? Cleik ,
O. yes, sir. Gentleman Weil, give mo
half a dozen of tho "Beividere."
Mr. Isaacs had enticed Mr. Treusfein
into his Chatham street store and was
trying to sell him a pair of 'trutirs
when there was a great shaking of-'feio
building, and Mr. Treustein fled, shout
ing: "Earthquake! earthquake!" "Come
back!"1 called out Isaacs. "C'me back!
1 hat was no earthquake, iitiat was
nothing but Jacob up-staips letting
down the prices von summer goods."
American Jjt,brtic.
The New Orleans Picayune thinks it
is funny to see ttie meeting between a
smart drummer and a hotel clerk w ho
wears a diamond pin. The clerk knows
the drummer does not own the earth,
though he acts as if he did; and 'The
drummer knows that the clerk does not
own the hotel; but neither of them vll
give up anil acknowledge that they do
not amount to much, collectively or
separately.
They had been sitting for. a long time
in silence. Suddenly she woke up from
a reverie and said: "It is an age of pro
gress after all, George. "Yass," ho
replied, after drawing the head of his
cane from his mouth, "but what led you
to make the remark?'1 "Well, not
fnuch," she gurgled, "but I saw iu this
evening's paper that you can buy wedding-rings
on installments." Boston
Courier.
"Papa," said little Jimmie Briefless,
"what do you wear when you go to tho
court-house your law suit?" "O. no,
my son," replied the good barrister,
kiudiy. "That is the suit a man puts
on when he goes naked. Only t he clients
wear that." And he walked benevo
lently on his way, sharpening his talons
as he went with what, 'Reginald? With"
himself, then light of head; he was an
old file, he s Burdttte.
Miss Winthrop "How do you like
our beautiful city?" New Yorker
? 'There are some things I like." Vlbm
ker Hill monument?" "I don't Spare
much for that." "Boston Common?"
"It's nothing compared to Central
Park." "O.ir ah! culture and refine
ment?1' "That's not it." "What is it
I -v
you admire so much iu Boston?" "The
twenty-two trains a day by which you
can leave town." Texas tiifhwjs.
"What do you want?" shouted a citi
zen of Fort street east to a person knock
ing at his door at midnight.- "Winter
(hie) come in." was the drunken reply.
"Now you skip, you loafer. Police!
Police!" "Zact'iy. "my friend," paid the
drunkard, as he sat down on the -eps.
'I've been drunk otTen 'null' to know I
can't outrun 'em. and Fm going to sit
here and wait. Shorry to disturb you,
old fel, but wish you'd wake rue up
when'er wagon comes." Detroit Free
Press.
A Selfish Gen'-raL
One night in the spring of "02 Gen
eral Rieh:ird-on, who then commanded
a brigad. took it into his head to in
spect the ticket Hne. Coming upon &
I reserved picket of. about t. irtv men,
t meter c-mmani ei a
! under command ef a captain of tho
! Second Mieh'gau Infaatry. tht
general
Saw lit to ! Ii i CJ-fogale as looOWs:
" aptv.m
! the ad vatic
in case oi an a a-rn oy
pk-het, what Would You
r
do" ?
"Send off a reinforcement at once'.
"A.d if the Jirirg continued?'
I -houid move up with tue remain
der of mv for
"And su-.j,,..,. a whole company of
the em-r:i.v -honld p:e-s frwrdr"
"We'd whip tn-m."
"l ;t ;f it was a regiment?"
I'd form a ime of battle and check
tunn
un 11 I s"nt 1 aek a;:-I got or-
tiers to emerge an l capture tae wa jiJ
i
lot.
e j.
a hr"
should
m e uo -vn on you
U battle iii.e?
I'd order a charge. .V. th co
umn in two,
detail"
and w :.ip bvia r.a;ve3 m
4 . .... . . . ) , r t- r n r.
Iii i ii i 1 1 - i.e. -i is ' .f
itain wis
rebev-l from furtn1!
d it" tm iMcket.
He wa.s very if dignant, and conspier
ably pu.zl- d. bat after i:.i:'k ng the
mat wr for a w hile, he tail to a
. broil "- o.i:i-:er:
S 1 v .true;: it! Oi l Il.h wai
afra mv mpanr ni';g;t "g- ble ti.e
wt
out
Co:
f a
ra'e army a:
i i rij.v him
" 1
If thai ain't
ti.etX I d 1 tO ktwW
tco.s
e-s
IS
"What orrid we.
itherF1
f-xcairr.e'
'Calm a s mi're-s. or.e itay la- we.-3c.
"Ves, mdam: and the nt.o! i. xs
S
expel any thing bette;
. in
HIS FIHST SPAHKING.
XUatrou Ending of a Indlma Coartlof
Mtcti.
In early times there lived in Indian
a man by the name of George Boone,
a descendant of the celebrated Daniel
IWxme. He would have stood well in
lhoe days when there were gianta ia
the iaud. if there ever were such- Ho
was near seen feet high, with largo
bones ami muscles; his hands wtr
large and h! feet were of extremr-aid
in length, breadth, and depth. The fol
lowing anecdote wa one lioone used to
relate hmi-elr: with evident relish, after
he bvcaiuti one of the State Senators.
I was about 15 Years of age, when,
for the tirst lime. 1 took it into iny head
to go asparkiiig. Ou"ol my neighbor
a few is lies otl had a pretty daughter
that, 1 thought, would just suit we.(
It w as late in the fail, and th weather
pretty cold; still it was too early to. put
on shot's, for those primitive time.
hen Sunday afternoou came 1 drwwod
in my best butternut colored suit, made
some s.ix months before, but soon found
that the pantaloons reached only just
below the knees and my coat stretched
over me as tight as au eel-stra: dried oa
a hop-pole.
1 started barefoot, wading the creeki
and muddy bottoms till I reached the
house. ihe family were about sitting
down to supper, and invited me to eat.
Sally -at by my side. They had mush
and milk, and plenty of it The old
lady, w ho was dishing oiii the pudding,
told me to pass my bowl.' I reached
out my hand with the bowl; but 1 had
made no calculation of the eize of the
table, ihe space between the big uiilk
piteher and tho bowl, nor the width of
my hand. With all my embarrassment,
1 struck the m'uk-pitcher in some war
and up-et it, and out went the milk
I over the table, Sally, and myself. She
, jumped up and went, shaking with
laughter, into the other room. I a,w
that all was lost. 1 saw nothing injte
of her.
Wiicn the clock struck 10 the old ladj
I said: .
I "Mr. Boone, won't you wash your
feet and go to bed?"
"Yes, ma'am." said I..
"Here is an old iron tot all" I've got
; that's fit." .said the old lady.
1 took the jwjt and found it so small
that I could only get my feet into it4jy
sliding them in sideways. Rut I got
. them in. The water was hot and I soou
found them swelling tighter and tight
er; I couldn't get them out.
I said nothing, though the pain and
anxiety were so great that the sweat
rolled down my face.
The chirk struck 11.
"Mr. Boone, are you done washing
' vour feet?" sleepily inquired the old
lady.
"What did this pot cost? I've got to
break it." I groaned.
"A dollar.
! "Bring me the ax."
She brought it. 1 took the ax.- broke
the M)t in pieces, handed the old lady a
dollar, ojtened the door, and started for
home.
I never went there again. Youth's
C'umjfinion.
You Can Do Your Best.
President Tattle, of Wabash college,
closed his baeealaureate with word of
in-pir.t ing counsel to the graduatiuff
cla-s. Wo commend them to all
young men who may chance to read
them:
"For several year you have been
working for ti.r honors of graduation.
A- You ivarb the coveted goal, yoil
meet the crowds of the unemployed.
The sse is not one to in-pire hope. Is
there anything ou can do alut it?
There i- something ou cannot do you
cannot change tne. fact.- In wpitt; of
your wi-hes, ij,e professions are over-
rovvled, or at lea-t (,'ria to be. Hut
there ;s something you can doyou
ran do your le -t!' and that is Home
thing. A select few do jt. ;Thou-ands do
not. We -omrtimes speak of aristoc
racies. Tno-e ba-cd on wealth and
f tin Iy are not the noblest of the clauts.
'I his ari-? c!a y, composed of thosf
who
Tie
".to ticir hcM, is tho noblest,
prof, -- (, s are not overcrowded
with 'his s.rt. but w.th the other. To
be t i- -i i rt of a man on' that "does
is ie-!,'" js as easy to be a Milo. a
Mi' li ae Atigelo. or a PauL Do you
grant ii? What then? This. In Hiat
ilill
Ui .
but sp;eijdi i personal trait (if
pin have it ) you have the strong pre
sumption I litid aimot aid prophecy
of si.-.. 'Ihe man who "los his
b"-t" has a pa-forl sealed with the
kb gs sign-:, to MiiiK! vforthy field,
li.ej e i vam'y is a place somewhere
for u-i a man.
Az'-ol'A'-s cf Davi'I Davis.
Mr. Dvid Dtv.s. being now in the
Sh - of a !re-f Pre-id -ntial career, the
a:.--' ii.'H begin to lbw in.. A Nit
i'n; k iit!it, w riter remernljr that
w:.i - o i tie- b-ti- u jpi Iliinoi. Davis
w:
m-.vn itr.'-j' -'i in the eiecuon
In tpat ;t of en filled hit mind
xi-.'-.-ioii f oth-'-r business. Iur
i e ou-e , i an argument a lawyer
o! I.i
to t:.
y-'j '
1 a- t
Hot.'.
Ti.e
hrs i
he :
won;
.
t stv: "And now, your
r. ti e matter r-4,4 in tt.H Mate,
ta-t word roU"d l:e Ju-!ge from
-V.-;y. Mi 1 lb TikjiJg of the TOt
i e d Do igi as would get. or rather
ia't ge , m th- Stab. Davis cried:
"Stab-! s;
ty." A', a
w Lo wa -ca-
a ti.
e" r e wn t carry a coun
.ther time he told a lawyer
v anxiotis to goon with a
ab-e!o-- ,f the counl oa
1 . "We'll go n if you ia
t!
th oi: -r
B l I ought to teli you that in iuc.'i
I a! w think it my dutv Vj Itfik.
.u: ! t th
'id that is not represented
jv c tinsel. e bad a case ox that sort
In T.-r re Haute the ether day, where a
u an io-i-ted on going on when the oth
er side wasn't there, and singular ftJ if
maV ;!!:, w beat that fellow V
i