cop
Manipul
The Con
By Dr. Charles Faulkner
I have counseled and
helped thousands of unhappy
people during the past
few years and have
discovered a striking
similarity in a significant
number of the cases. Most
of my Clients are honest,
kind, loving people in
search of a reliable mate
who can make them happy.
When they find a potential
??
DATING f
AND W
MATING v
mate. thev bestow jgnordo
not receive the same
thing in return, they
become unhappy and seek
counseling in order to find
out what went wrong. Their
mate usually takes them for
granted, finds the challenge
disappearing in the relationship
and becomes bored
with the mate's loving"
predictability.
" Invariably, counselors tell
these unhappy people to be
honest, kind, loving and affectionate,
and they will
receive the same thing in
Breathir
L.
[ - - :
f There's A
Breathing is an art. With
the flow of each melodious
breath, you set the stage for
your life. It is very clear
that breath is life. Breathing
-eontrols_Jhfi balance of
energy?in yoy*r body
throughout the life cycle.
Proper breathing is an an
tidote to daily stressors.
Although we all breathe,
few of us continue to
breathe properly as we
I become adults. Proper
breathing habits are essen(
DEALING WITH STRE
! EVELYN
DUNLAF
tial for good mental and
physical health. An infant
breathes deep breaths, filling
the lungs completely,
expanding the diaphragm,
before exhaling the air. This
allows the infant to remain
in a peaceful and relaxed
r HtatCi^Wfrifc^observing an
infant, you may notice the
difference in his breathing
and your present breathing
to discover who is the real
artist.
Breathing can control the
amount of tension in the
muscles of the body including
the heart. Through
the practice of proper
breathing, you can effect
the following symptoms:
anxiety, depression, irritability,
muscular tension
and fatrgue.
tsreainmg is an unconscious
function of the
body, something you normally
don't think about.
Right now, pay attention to
how you are breathing.
Take a deep, long breath
and notice the differnce in
your body as you exhale the
air and relax. This is called
the relaxing sigh, and
although people generally
sigh, they usually don't
know the reason. Sighing
allows you the opportunity
to disburse some of the
negative energy from the
body and relaxes you when
feeling stressed.
I * %
j
ing
ation
Games People
return. They are told to o
continue the very behavior m
that caused the unhappiness &
in the first place. d<
Wouldn't it be nice if this tl
were true? It is such a nice y<
concept. But, is it true? p
Answer the following fj
questions: s<
Are you always treated n
kindly by your mate when .
you are kind, loving and af- a
fectionate? ? Most of the t:
time Some of the u
wrw m :
lim -
-time- N*V" ^
Are you taken for granted J
and treated rudely by ^
your mate when you are a
kind, loving and affec- c
tionate? c
Unfortunately, many peo- ^
pie who turn the other *
cheek find that cheek a
getting slapped, also. The r
honest, kind person often ?
~gets~abused and made to v
feel unhappy. The hard- c
nosed manipulative person v
takes advantage of the c
kind person, reaps great a
personal and material *
rewards and achieves a level
lK
X I
ji Art To It
When you arc watching
something very emotional
? either frightening or
anger-provoking ? be attentive
to your breathing.
^You can learn to alter the
.body's response to stressful? emotions
by changing your
breathing pattern. The next
ime you feel very angry or
frustrated, use the basic
relaxation breath described
in this article to relax you.
You will be able to feel thedifference
and benefit from
this change of breathing.
Breathing exercises do not
pose as problem-solvers,
but assist you in being able
to relax in a crisis so that
you might be able to think
more clearly.
Altering your breathing
style will also help you deal
with daily stressful situations
in a effective and
relaxed manner and improve
your overall health.
It is very important for
cigarette smokers to use the
following breathing techniques
regularly so that the
lungs can be cleared as
much as possible with each
breath. This may be the
protector between you and
emphysema, (having less air
sacs for oxygen exchange).
However, persons with emphysema
can still benefit
from these exercises to increase
their lung capacity.
While a breathing exercise
can be learned in a 'few
minutes and some immediate
benefit experienced,
the profound effects of
the exercise may not be fully
appreciated until months
of continuous practice have
passed.
Each person needs to
develop a breathing program
incorporating these
exercises and more. Teach
your children these exer- ,
See Page jg ;
,
Play
f happiness. Everyone
manipulates practically
/eryone else, to some
egree, in order to get what
ley want: A smile will get
ou a pleasant hello; a comliment
will get you a new
fiend; a "pleasant* perDnality
will get you a pay
i\se.
Manipulation has found
n important place in sociei.
Manipulation, which is
sed by each of us, is
thically acceptable as long
s the behavior is not insnded
to harm the other
arty. Following is an exmple:
Mary loved John and
reated him with continued.
indness?and affection.
onn?beeame?Dorea?wittr
Gary's loving predictability
nd wanted a new
hallenge, so he stopped
ailing her and began to,
late other women. John
;new that Mary would
ilways be there when he
teeded her_^ and that__she
onstantly sat by the phone
vaiting for his telephone
all. John felt that Mary
vas not desired by- any
>ther men because she was
ilways at home waiting for
lis call. In essence, he felt
See Page 30
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Aah...The I
- Irene Womack of Ta
_ the happiness of man;
single. Today's sing
vibrant, talented, suc<
the August^ Ebony. T
women are not waitin
along. They view th<
viable alternative to v
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:le, Thursday, August 19, 1982-Page 9
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