Newspapers / The Charlotte Post (Charlotte, … / March 13, 1997, edition 1 / Page 18
Part of The Charlotte Post (Charlotte, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
2B WEDDINGS ‘97 / The Charlotte Post Thursday, March 13,1997 African wedding couple’s choice Continued from page IB either could have accomplished separately. Q: Is such an agreement an indication of philosophical dif ferences that could doom the marriage down the line? The Hopsons: It could cer tainly indicate philosophical dif ferences. It is important to explore this. We would like to suggest an exercise in our book (“Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates”) on page 27 titled “Self- Assessment Exercise: The Soul Mate of Your Dreams.” Here, you are encouraged to identify the characteristics that especial ly matter to you. You can then establish personal priorities through ranking the importance of each identified characteristic. While completing this exercise you can also look at whether most of your personal priorities are external or internal quali ties. External characteristics (e.g. money, good looks, etc.) tend to be more superficial and not as longstanding as internal ones (e.g. compassion, trustwor thiness, loving, etc.,) Q: Does our disagreement over something like whether to have an African-centered wed ding indicate major philosophi cal differences and possible diffi culties dovm the fine? The Hopsons: It could certain ly indicate philosophical differ ences. It is important to explore this. We would like to suggest an exercise in our book (“Friends, Lovers, and Soul Mates”) on page 27 titled, “Self- Assessment Exercise: The Soul Mate of Your Dreams.” Here you are encouraged to identify the char acteristics that especially mat ter to you. You can then estab- hsh personal priorities through ranking the importance of each identified characteristic. While completing this exercise you can also look at whether most of your personal priorities are external or internal qualities. External characteristics (e.g., money, good looks, etc.,) tend to be more superficial and not as longstanding as internal ones (e.g., compassion, trustworthi ness, loving, etc.) Q: Have you ever had to help ■PHOTO/CALVIN FERSUSON White satin gown with tulle overlay, lace eyelet sleeves and bustle train and Tiara fingertip veil. Design: Forever Yours. Found at The Exclusive Bride. Cost: $600 range. caU Bobby and Joann Cook B & J CATERING SERVICE Presentation and Service are our specialty All at Affordable prices • WEDDINGS • COMPANY PARTIES •PICNICS ‘SPECIAL OCCASIONS TASTY HOME COOKED FOOD WTTH A SOUTHERN FLAIR about ourfamif^eumon package incfuding ^'■sfiirt" (704) 529-5524 • Special discount for all churches* If you are having trouble receiving your subscription to the Post please contact us at 704-376-0496 Thank you a couple resolve an issue like this before? How did they work it out it? Darlene Hopson: Yes. The couple agreed to compromise for the greater good of the relation ship. Although the male felt his plans were not included in their entirety, he was able to accept one that reflected a considera tion of his wife’s level of comfort. His wife, in turn, felt some dis comfort with some of the dis plays of Afrocentricity, but agreed to have the inclusion of symbolic items such as Rente table decorations and the histor ical tradition of jumping the broom. Q: Should all the wedding stuff really be left up to the bride since it’s usually thought to be her day? Darlene: No. The groom should be comfortable with the plans as well. After all, it is their first major experience with decisionmaking, negotiating and compromise. Q: Are symbols like libations and broom jumping really that important to the wedding cere mony? Derek: Yes. Such practices or symbolisms are often the pre lude to a couple experiencing a sense of deeper spiritual connec tion. We must remember that the behavior of jumping the broom, wearing African clothing and libations can foster or gen erate feelings of unity, commit ment and intimacy, but we must be open, willing and desirous of this experience. Q: How should couples handle family members who are not open to an African-centered wedding? The Hopsons: They need to be rmified in their approach of dealing with family. The couple could however show some sensi tivity by asking significant fami ly members to participate in ways the feel cornfortable. They could solicit their ideas. However, it is important to remember that this too sets a precedent. ’The couple must not allow family members to become controlling or too intru sive. It is best from the begin ning to establish clear bound aries or limits. hv \LOIS - for all occasions - • Weddings • Funerals • Birthdays • Reunions • Coronations • Anniversaries... and 'To Get Out Of The Dog House” Call Today; 377-2625 2624 Statesville Avenue Catch The Charlotte Post on the world wide web http://www.the post.mindspring. com FOR ALL YOUR WEDDING ACCESSORIES & GIFTS CAJC£ , ttt $5*95 TOASTING GLASSES (w/names & date) $12.95 — . Sat For Our In-Store BrMal Event j ^21.95 **' big Godhra Ctaocolatle 14200 E. Independence Blvd., Indian Trail, NC MTWFS: 10-6 • Thurs: 10-8 • Sun: 1-6 • (704)821-7678 • 1-800-852-3111 HOLLOWAYS MENS SHOP Mens Suits • Easter • Emms bqys Suits Sizes 36 Reg • 36 Long • 54 Reg-Long Wide variety of hard to find colors White, Cream, Beige, Navy, Taupe & Black Shawl Collars Double Breasted Nehru Collar 3 Button Single Breasted Cumberbands & Bow Ties Silk Ties White Parade Gloves Socks Sizes 2T - 20 Husky Freedom Mall 391-9436 James Holloway, Master Tailor Wide Variety of Colors Double Breasted • Collarless • Nehru Collar • 3 Piece Vest Set • (Shirt, pants, vest) Boys Shoes and Hats • 5430 N. Tryon St. Near Big Lots 597-8153 cJ^ince 1936, our tuxedos have made women LOOK GREAT. The nation's most experiencedformalivear gingiss store proudly celebrates its 60th anniversary, r o s « * t w t.» Gingiss Formalwear Eastland Mall (704) 563-5003 V2 PRICE GROOMSMEN TUXEDO ON TUXEDO FOR; THE RING BEARER OR FATHER OFTHE BRIDE Qrooms tu?(e-cCojrt^ zoitfifive. paid rentals • Wide range of designer tut(edos and vests to choose from. • 30% off Carbon Craft Wedding Imitations • On the spot afterations • Courteous and hefpfuC Customer Service guaranteed • See store for details
The Charlotte Post (Charlotte, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
March 13, 1997, edition 1
18
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75