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THE IIENDEKSOX GOLD LEAF THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 1006. The Gold Leaf THURSDAY, MARCH 1, 190f. Stop the Paper. Humor and Philosophy By DUNCAN N. SMITH PERT PARAGRAPHS. Madison Xexva. I've Btopjx-d tLe pappr yes, I lid't like to do if, iiut 1 hf oilitor got too (smart . Anl I allow hc'Jl rue it. I ii m 11 man nit pays bin dri. Ami 1 won't Ik? inanited; So when the editor jgrtH too iii.-irt. I want to lie conmiltwl. I took his pap-r 'leven ye.un. An' lu'lped Lim nil I rould, t-ir. Am wlifn it cornea to dunum' iiih, I did't think he would, mr, Iiut that he did, an' you tun l-t I made it hot as thunder. Says I, ' I'll atop that ahwt., I will, If tha fussed thing ffoen under'" I hunted up the nienxly whelp. An' for his cunnin' caper 1 paid eleven years und quit! Yen, fir, I've stopped his paper. Joseph Jefferson on Marriage, Everybody's Magazine for Manrh. Joseph Jefferson was a Htron be liever in early marriitges.and he never missed an opportunity to impress his convictions upon young men. In an address at Yale he said: "I abominate bachelors. The old er they grow.the more conceited they become. I was talking to one and I asked him why he did not marry. Hp parried the question by telling about different youngwomen he had known finding some fault with each one. lint it appeared that all of them had mar ried. "'You are indangor of getting left,' I said to him. 'You had better hur ry up liefore it is too late.' "'Oh,' said the bachelor, 'there are jnt as good fish left in the sea.' know that,' I said, 'but the bait- -isn't there danger of the bait, becoming stale?' Cultivate Silence. Tin Out look. It is in silence alone that we come into possession of ourselves. The noises of life disturb us as a cloud of dust intervened between the eye and the sky. There ouht to be a cult for the practice of silence a body of men and women committed to the preservation of the integrity of their souls by neither hearing nor making speech for certain periods, pledged to the culture of the habit of quietness. Maeterlinck has pointed out the fact that the best things are never spoken and the truest intercourse be tween congenial spirits is carried on without words. If we said less and thought more there would be far few er t hings to explain, many sources of irritation would be dried up at the sources, and the prime cause of irri tation, which is is nervous exhaus tion or excitement, would be re moved. What Class Are You In? A photograph Is a mo?t unsatisfac tory thing. If it doesn't flatter you you don't like it, ami if it does your friends are scandalized. An appetite for sauerkraut may not be as aristocratic as one for ice cream, but it is n heap more wholesome. i TAKt THAT r&t Uueeif away'J s. Kw Chanty hegins at home when it is givmsi away money. It drops around to tli.' n iy!ilmrs when it has a load of advice 1o dump. Th" if. muii. A v al;;r. la- The.-thil'i.'1: worst lliing about future yood to he that it so persistently re in tin future. of expedients is as handy - house as a hot tie of imifi- are people who can do . t once and spoil hut one. two The ;i. bciu v. Rood lii: cure between working and ;ed is about the size of a less it's a I ;iv.ive for ma frin two to make had one. e:i!:rlS i a bargain, tin- clearing houses otiial obligation Before marriage a man fears he can't. pleas; hi- :nveeth:-:!-t. and after mar riage he knows he can't and h'ts it go at thaL Crooked met hods won't square with a straight deal. A l.ul v i;i All ! f:;: Aiul il" fi Whrit ' Misfits :i n 'ill' is ; i i ! M:i !! man i KliMij-vM way, :;r; s i; to In r i tiii.irs say '.' Kll.ert Hubbard. The world bestows its big prizes both in money and honors for but one thing. And tunt in Initiative. What is Initia tive? I'll tell you: It is doing right things without being told. But next to doing the thing without being told is to do it when you nre told once. That is to say, carry the Message to (iartia: those who carry a Message get high hon ors, but their pay is not always in pro portion. Next are those who never do n thing until thev nre told twice; such get no honors and small nav. Next are those who do the right thing only when neces sity kicks them from behind, and these get indifference instead of honors and u pittance for pay. This kind spends inont of its time polishing a heuch with a hard luck ntory. Then still lower down in the scale than thin, we have the fellow who will not do the right thing even when some one goes along to nhow nun how and stays to see that he does it; he is always out of a job, nud receives only the contempt he deserves, unless he has a rich Pn, in which case Destiny patiently awaits around the corner with a stuffed club. To which class do you belong? He's a Cuckoo. "Oli. i."" '!!' s- in.-, what ran he- see, I'd really like to know, In SMCil a peri ;unl awful llirt, V":io only v.-ant:-- liis dousti? Sho cannot -oo; or write a book Or e ( n make a dress, And he'll regret his folly yet l"nl".s 1 lose lny (.mess." His fellows at the club declare, "OH man, she's won a prize!" Ent when lie turns and walks away They talk moi-- on this wise: "I'oor IiUle miss, her dream of bliss With him wi.l not bo Ions: In Kettiirc ca; h lor his own hash lb' iiev-r siiowed up htron,r. So how enn ho ke p two or tlire ? (Tin ie may lo three some day.) She'll liml support is rather short When he the hills must pay." But .still they marry and live on. Kac-h for the other's sake. Ami from the happy dream of lliua They nt v r do awake. Each thinks the other is a prize (What blunders folks do make!). Anil no vi r do they find it out About their sail mistake. IVtroit Free I'rons. This story was told recently at a smoker given by the alumni of the University of Michigan, at Chicago. "A young man and his wife not long married,'' said the relator of the ineident'lived down on the South Side where they had a pretty little two-story brick house. One of their wedding presents was a large clock which told the hours and half hours by means of the cuckoo's cry instead of by the usual chimes and sound ings of a bell. One night the college fraternity, of which tho man was a member, gave a banquet, and it was accordingly late when he arrived tit tho front door of his home. He thought that discretion was the bet ter part of valor, so that when got inside, he began to remove his shoes before going up stairs. Unfortunate ly he was not very happy in the exe cution of this act, for one of his shoes slipped and made a noise that could be heard all over the house. A mo ment later his wi e's voice came from the head of the stnirwav: "Is that you ( buries?' "Yes, dear" ''What time is it Charles?" "'Bout 12." "And then" said Charles, in telling the incident afterwards, "that blamed clock began to cry out. But it cuck ooed only three times, and 1 had to stand there like a fool and cuckoo the other nine.'' "Is there drummer':" "There mi Wouldn't Last. such a tiling as it be for one trip.' Disqualified. "I stand no show," He said and sighed. He loved her so He could have died. "He stands no show," She said nnd scoffed. It is awfully hard to impress mosr people with the importance of yout importance. "I'd like to go; I've longed to oft. But to the play He will not go. That's why I say He stands r.o show." 'Backache, "i'he Blues Both Symptoms of Organic Derangement Women-Thousands of Sufferers Find Relief. in Pitying cn Their Vanity. A I'rench angler catches lish by low ering a 1 'oking glass just back of his bait. Thtn the curious lish advances, nud, thinking it sees another lish going after the juicy morsel, it frets a move on itself, and before it realizes what has hapj ened it has bitten sonicthiiu that it fears will not agree with it. mat is ins tiieorv, nut there is an other possibility. The lady lish may como up to see if it is true, as she fear ed, that she is looking like a fritrht. and what would be more natural than for her to investigate the boo'; under the Impression thai" it might be some new kind of hatpin".1 This device should help the fisherman who doesn't like to make his lie out of whole doth, as he could count the one he caught and the one that it looked in the glass as though he had caught. 111 T- 1 & fiesta i ','S ti 'VjeAu . riittynn&A.ty7r$9z& 4Aj'j.'t:j i ' 1 pound" instarjtly asserts its curative powers in all those peculiar ailments of How often do we hear women say: "It seems as though my back would break,"' or "Don't speak to me, I am all out of sorts"? These fcigni ficant re marks prove that the system requires attention. IJaekaciio and " the blues'' are direct symptoms of an inward trouble which will sooner or later declare itself. It may be caused by diseased kidneys or some derangement of the organs. Nature reor.m s assistance and at once, and bydiaH Pinkliam's Vegetable Com- ... . ., ,, women. Jt has been the stanuDy oi in tell igent A meriean women for twenty years, and the best judge;, agree that it is the most universally success ful remedy for woman's ills known to medicine. Head the convincing testimonials of Mrs. Holmes and Mrs. Cotrely. Mrs. J. C Holmes, of Larimore, North Dakota, writes : Dear Mrs. Finkham: ' I have suffered everything with backache nnd female trouble I let the trouble run on until my svstem was in such a condition that 1 was vm:ib!e to le about, and then it was I commenced to us? Lydia I'inkham's Vege table Compound. If I had only known how much suffering I would have saved I should Lavo taken it months sooner for a few weeks' treatment made me well and strong. My backaches and headaches are all gone and I sutler no pain at my montniv periods, whereas before I took Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound I suffered intense pain." Mrs. Emma Cotrely, 109 East 12tli Street, New York City, writes : Pear Mrs. rinkham: ' I feel it my duty to tell all suffering women of the relief ham's Vegetable Comjxnind, When I con menced taking the Compound I suiter d everything with backaches, headaches, ! femalo troubles. I am completely cured u:i i enjoy tho best of health, and I owe it til; to you," When women are troubled with ircvr5 nlar, suppressed or painfu1 peiiod.s weakness, displacements or ulceration, that bearing-down feeling, iuHamma tion of the female organs, backache, bloating (or flatulence), general de bility, indigestion and nervous prostra tion, or are beset with such symptoms as dizziness, faintnts, lassitude, excit ability, irritability nervousness, sleep lessness, melancholy, all gone" and '"want to-be-left-alone" feelings, blues and hopelessness, they should remem ber there is one tried and true remedy. Lydia E. Pinkhrnn's Vegetable Com pound at once removes such troubles, No other medicine has such a record of cures of female troubles No other medicine in the world has received thi ; widespread and unqualified endorse ment. Refuse to buy any substitute. FREE ADVICE TO WOMEN. Remember, every woman is cordial lv invited to write to Mrs. I'inkhani i, there is anything about her symptoms she does not understand. Mrs. Pink ham is the daughter-in-law of Lydia E. I'inkhani, her assistant before her de cease, and for twenty-five years since her advice has been freely and cheer fully given to every ailing woman who asks for it. Her advice and medicine have restored to health innumerable women. Address. Lynn, Mass. I have found in Lydia L. Fink- Ask Mrs. Pinkham's Advice-A Woman Best Understands a Woman's Ills, orfoitt lEKiggy Co. if I ft For yovir Jfj Patronage in the past. IIS For yovir business in future. a modest California. Daily, February i5 to April 7. (.. "u extra for berth or free seat in chair car. Pustless roadbed Harvev meals. Ask .1. ( . SAUTKLLK. S. F. & P. A.. Pi North I'ryor St.. Atlanta. Ha., for tourist sleeper booklet. n (fin 'r,..i. PERT PA!AGL?AF:-iS. The North Carolina Teachers' Assembly. The nexCVession of the North Car olina Teachers' Assembly will be held in Raleigh, June 13 to l.",190G. The xecutive committee of the Assembly came to this decision a few days ajru tfter recfivinr an invitation to meet t here, extended them by the Raleigh Chamber of Commerce. The decision of the executive com mit tee to meet in Raleiyhuill hernod news to the teachers of the State. Everybody likes to come to Raleigh. .Nowhere else can the teachers 111 s- hort i timeor at so small ;tnexeiise learn so much about .North Carolina is in the capital citv, where thev can visit the capitol and various depart ments of the State roveriitnent. In the State Museum can lie found a fine display of the rrat und varied resources of the State, where lessons can oe learn eu in iorth Carolina ire- ooraphy and in North Carolina his tory Itetterthau 111 all the books ever written. In the State Library and ia the Library of the Supreme Court will be found interest inr and instruct ive lessons in the his history of the State. There nre mote schools in Raleigh, with more teachers and more pupils, than in any other city in North Carolina Amonr these tire the North Carolina Agricultural and Mechanical College, the North Caro lina Schools for th Deaf and Dumb and for the Blind, St. Mary's School, the Raptist University for Women, and Peace Institute. Other places of interest are the North Carolina Hos pital for the Insane, the State Peni tentiary, the Soldiers' Home, the Methodist Orphanage, etc. The exeeutivecommittee was prom ised that ample accommodations at a rate off 1 a day in first-class board-iiuz-houses would be provided for as many as 2,000 teachers, and t he rail roads will offer the usual reduced rates. Six laro-e stud beautiful audi toriums will be placed at the disposal of the Assembly. The prop,ram will be-one of the most interesting; ever presented in North Carolina and will be attractive to every class of teachers. The offi cers of the Assembly expect 110 less than l,.r)0() teachers to be present. The officers are: President. Dr. W. T. YVhit.-etf, president of Whitsett Institute, Whitsett, N. C; Vice-President, Superintendent J, A. Matheson. of the city schools of Durham, ami secretary, Mr. R. D. W. Connor, of the Stare Department of Education, Raleigh. is S a renovator of soil and as a food for stock, the cow per is unsurpassed. To get the larr est possible yield of cow peas fror any given soil, a plentiful applicr. tion of Potash is necessary. The best methods leading to certain success are full explained in the 65-page illustrated book, which we sen free to farmers who write for it. It tells of the remarkable "suits attained with cow peas nourished upon Potash. Address, GERMAN KALI VTORSS. 3fw Tork 3 Sunt Street, or. Atlanta. Qa, 2J'j So. Broad Streofc tat HVar." THE " DODGING PER m I0D 1 of a woman's life, is the name often given to the change ct me. Your menses come at long intervals, and grow scantier until they step. Some women stop suddenly. The entire change lasts three or four years, and it is the cause of much pain and discomfort, which can, however, be cured, by taking WINE np ur vzruu ul Woman's Relief It quickly relieves the pain, nervousness, irritability, miserable ness, forgetfulness, fainting, dizziness, hot and cold flashes, weak ness, tired feeling, etc. Cardui will bring you safely through this "dodging period," and build up your strength for the rest of your life. At all druggists in $ 1 .00 bottles. Try it. RAM WRITE US A LETTER freely and frankly, telling us all your troubles. We will send Free Advice (in plain, sealed envelope). Address: La dies' Advisory Dept., The Chattanooga edicine Co., Chattanooga, lenn. ii m ft "EVERYTHING BUT DEATH I suffered," writes Virginia Robson, of Esston, Md., "until I took Cardui, which cured me so quickly it surprised my doctor, who didn't know I was taking it." 02 b c 1 I m h s w & i i I J i S HENDERSON, - N. C. S ! Economy Wy j 1 California I "Nv You do not. sacrifice comfort for 1 ("S economy when you go in a Santa Fe I Fp Tourist Pullman. 1 vlfeai sitO for a Colonist ticket St. Louis to I All the Way n 30 North I'ryor St.. A1liiit;i. lia., for tourist sloepor booklet. 1 The K-'s s more tiiiiionlty in kwpin tin.1 h:vv t r loiiius stiil. ;;y the .it'U.'t' CC"0C0?XCKXXOOOOCOOOOOCOOr- 8 "Silver Plate jN U Sen lag Etc Spoons, Forks, Knives Stamped W Rogers bros: always combine the dmiraV.f trtu. of silver plate artistic dcneil B'.,J hirhest rradeofplatr. Remembtthe tamp of the genuine Kojtrt fc leading dealers. Send lor Catilomi "C-U" to the makers. ,M International Silver Co., Uoriden. Co.. With Plenty of Capital And buyingin quaniities tcr cash wt aro '1 j;h'. .! in iirT nish our customers ,-i flir cash or on time ;it 1 ,,!,,.., H&v ... in prices, Dry Goods. Shoes. Groocerles, Buggies. noss. Wtigona.Ho c us'l ' any hing else yojmsy need We have houelit r f Raney'scottonin .ip.lu.-tnn busintvs and have r mi rm i.-ii i for a full supply of ;ju;uhi at the right prices. GRUDUP-KITTRELL CO KITTKKLL. N . for chlldrmnt a, cure. Mo mplatm COAL FOR ALL PURI()Sns. Whatever your iriiiirci.M-ut 4 ' : nifty he we nre ready to till tliun i to vtir Ht isfuei ion. We luindl- 1 BRING YOUR TOBACCO TO "The Old Reliable" WA OOPEE RLE, HOUSE HENDERSON, North Carolina.. We are taking the leaLd in Big Breaks and High Prices we've always done. Bring vis load and be Convinced. as BIG LINE OF BUGGIES. CARRIAGES AND WAGONS AND HIGH GRADE FERTILIZERS ALWAYS ON HAND AT LOWEST PRICES. Yovirs for business. i e Cooper WareKoise . Company. L Wood's Seeds. Alfalfa Seed INOCULATED Ready For Sowing. Inoculation makes it possible to grow Alfalfa where it could not be grown before. It supplies the bacteria neces sary for the best growth and de velopment of this valuable crop. Alfalfa once well established lasts for years, yielding large and continuous cuttings of the best and most nutritious hay. Price of eeed quoted on request. Wood's 1906 Seed Book tells all about Inoculated Seeds, both for the Garden and Farm. Mailed free. Write for it. T.W. Wood & Sons, Seedsmen, RICHMOND, . VIRGINIA. We can also supply Inoculated Garden Pecs, Snap Beans, Clovers, Cow Peas, etc. Write for prices. Inconsistent. "He is trying to live down his past. "Then why is he trying to lire np to ttr Being treated as one of the family often Las its drawbacks, especially about mealtime. A good line of talk often takes tho 6ame direction as a smooth line of pro motion. The foot that rooks the cradle gener ally wears a slipper so loose tbit it can be remove! for r.ction with very little effort. The man who is standing around waiting for lightning to strike him would probably fall dead with surprise if It were to tap him gently on the shoulder. The man with a chronic grouch may serve some useful purpose, but it would break his heart If lse suspected j it. Whfii winter puts the lid n well le apt to get oi.r fingers pinelied. When a woman lets her tongue run away with her it is a brave man as well as a r-.ish one who will rush in and try to stop it. Breaking into the newspapers seems to stand for success with a certain class of people. Trying to look intelligent often suits in nervous prostration. re in the winter of our discontent the payment of a debt that we bad given up comes like a January thaw. The best joke Is the one that's on ttc otter fellow. A promoter is a man who makes any old thing look Tike a good thing. This is getting to bo such a practical age that the artist who makes a living Is no longer disgraced. lie who doesn't care for the morrow is too apt to find that the morrow doesn't care for him. The smile of fortune is too often a malicious grin. Sentiment, like sauces, must be Ee lectcd with care with regard to both quantity and quality. Many a willing man never gets close enough to a good thing to push it along. A man wouldn't welcome a macbint that would do his eating for him. , C m ci'. -m m 8 NEVER CATCH UP The business men who fall to appreciate advertising are likely to find themselves so far behind the times that they will never catch up. It Is alvrays better to adver tise a little too macb than not Quite cnougU. It Is better to use a little more time than Is necessary in the consideration of advertising and the preparation of advertise ments than It Is to be ever so little careless about it. Saginaw (Mich.) Evening News. 4ii Cures Coughs, Colds, Croup, La Grippe, Asthma, Throat and Lung Troubles. Prevents Pneumonia and Consumption w ii iiri lilts ii. w AM) THE ORIGINAL LAXATIVE HONEY and TAR in the YELLOW PACKAGE For sale by MELVILLE DORSEY. Druggist. Grove's Tasteless Chill Tonic has stood the test 25 years. Average Annual Sales over One and a Half Million bottles. Does this record of merit appeal to you ? No Cure, No Pay 50c. 1 J the UKSTCtJAL buv. Anthracite, Splint, Stearc Ainu PINE AND OAK WOOD Any length. -:- Sat isf;n-i in mi'l prompt serviee gnarari; 'l r Poythress' Coal & Wood Yari; Phone. No. ss. ' Yotij an lieaesi Over 1,000,003 Telephone Subscribers DIRECT FROM YOUR OWN OFFICE OVEHTHE t LONfi DISTANCE L I N E !3 For res C APf LY TO LOCAL MANAGC" Home Telephone and Telegraph Company, N HENOEPSON, SEABOARI Air Line Railway. Short Line North, East, Soutfi and Scr west, Also Cuba and Meii- - EFFECTIVE JAN' '' Cures Biliousness, Sick Headache, Sour Stom ach, Torpid Liver and Chronic Constipation. Pleasant to iaile QEIID Laxative Fruit Syrup Cleanses the system thoroughly and clears sallow complexions of pin-pies and blotches. It is guaranteed :.t;r--'A V 'i.'t No Meal Ticket "On what charge did they fellow up?" "No visihle means of support. "Not married, then." lock ScCXCXXXXCOCXdCOOOOCCO(x "We advocate careful prepa ration of copy and frequent changes, the oftener the better. 0e Witt's ffi Salvo Fcr Piles, Burns, Sores. For Sale by MELVILLE DORSEY, Di uggist. n ET'SPEPSIA CURE (0)U.: Train Ltave Henderv.n as -". NORTH H"l No 34 nt 2 .10 n. m ' for I'irtriHmtb. Noil" I-'' ton. Nw York, uii'l p'"' '' North wwt No. a at 12:.'l7p . m ..!' A. r. L. ioiiit. I'ortMin.i:! -ofinM-1 with H nt-;tnj'-r- poiritn. . y No. m at 1:07 p. ui S f I ' ! , 1 ' forRichmoiMl, Va!i!it-t'. v' ' pointH North ami North No. 30, Shoo-Flj- ut r,:2-: - WehJoD. MIUTHUOI'M' No. .11 r 2:30 a m -S-h-''.; for all fointii South, i hnrlott- '. AtlHtitH mikI jMrliKonviih". So. 20. Khoo-Fl.r at H:4 9 a. m No. 41 at 2:15 p. in.. lo;ii ' V Sooth. . x No. 43 at ."i:42p. hi. J-b!." ' tJ forKiintiSoutii, Atlanta. ("olnt: ; nonvill-. Trains for Dorham l-ave t "" ; .'. ( p. id., and for Oxford at 0:(i. : - ' . 0:40 p. m. fall on or aillw iht umi' and g-nral information. E.B.BRADY.A C.H.6ATTIS.T.P.A., ULE1CI. I. e. DIGESTS WHAT YOU EAT Tk $1.00 bottie contains 2S Cnnesthe trial fUe. vhlch mCs for SO cant, PtjrAKED OMLY AT tm laioeatokt o DWITT 6c COMPANY. CHICAGO. ILL For Sale at Parker's Two (2) Drug Stores. f 3 Seven To Cure a Cold in One Day "3t!ve Broxn Quinine Tablets. r.7.1 : in ?ast 1 2 months. This Signature, "6 i Cures Crip ia Two Days. on every : box. 25c ' OSCAR OUTLAWS up-to-date BARBER SHOP Is the place to pet a ati-:."-Shave, StjliHh Hair Cut. ri poo, or Shoe Shine. , Firt8-cla barlers. promj t prices you've aiwaj l ;i:J- att-fttc DftkM Kklar Bldd, " l iron i
Henderson Gold Leaf (Henderson, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
March 1, 1906, edition 1
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