Newspapers / The fool-killer. / Dec. 1, 1913, edition 1 / Page 1
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VOL. IV. The Boss of Mexico. Some people call him ITurty, While others call him Wircy, An' all his deeds are dirty, An1 all his motives low ; For all the world's complainin', He don't do no explaining He just keeps on remaini' f he Boss of Mexico. Rebellion keeps a-spreadin', An' lots of blood's a-sheddin', But Uncle Sam's a-dreadin', An' sorter wants to wait. f course he's bound to hate 'em, But facts are like I state 'era, An Wilson's "ultimatum" Has failed to "ulti-mate." The Rebs are erowdm' closer, An askin', " vVon't you go, sir?" But still he answers, 'No, sir, I don't intend to-gol" But he's an old fool bluff r, And for his deeds will suffer When someone even rougher Is Boss of Mexico. James Larkin Pearson. Raise Your Head, Mister! . , , I Two Irishmen were honorary pall-bearers at a funeral. They - I started out with heads down, as they should. After going a con siderable distance one says: "Such a devil of a stink! I can hardly keep me head down." The other Irishmen says: "Don't SDoil the occasion bv - X- uioiiic. y live. aismg your 'The stink is awful. Let's both raise our heads." And they did, and behold the funeral had turned a corner and they -were following a garbage aragon. So it is with the old party voters. They started out with the Ijrinciples of Lincoln and Jeffer- i . , . , on, Dut tney nave turned a eornn car and are following the political garbage wagon. But the stink is a causing a great many to raise their heads and discover where the stink comes from. Whistling is a yery. heap grade of music, and is composed of pucker and wind. MORAVIAN FALLS, NORTH Run Here With a Hoss-Blanket! O-my-o! Surely it would tax the imagi- nation of Rider Haggard or Jules VfrnPto kPPnnnwith the pan- tankerous capers of the swell " r c- i a. l 1 ttvervhndv is familiar with the bracelet, .which is an article of jewelry worn on the wrist. Usu ally these bracelets are 18-karat hniQQ not in turn rr.M ThPW mno-P in siyp fmm head hoop of a kraut tub to the hind wheel of a log wagon. And I tW slinP nn nr rln tho Wp arm nf thp lnnip likp a WW ii i w These bracelet things are sup- my notion is that if a girl has pretty arms they are pretty enough without any ornaments, While, on the other hand, if a girl has ugly arms all the ornaments in the wnrlri wnn't malfp 'pm YWM-t-rr ' T , - -o j i the bracelet or wristlet, as it is sometimes called has about had itsaay. it is entirely too tame and modest tor this day and time. Society is looking for thrillers n.d W?a t be Sat,sfied wlth any" tmngeise. ITT i 1 , I i nave it straigni irom some- w? 0t .fr?m somebody else that the wristlet has been giving way to the ank- let for several seasons. That is, he bl.K yf7 have b!fn W0u0j.viiwu xxixx cum w unc anKie. Well, the anklet turnished en- tertainment for the rubbernecks ior awnne, out now tne excite- . u uicnu uiuot uc liiLciiomcu u v uiuv ing the jewelry up a buttonhole or two At least that is the idea conveyed in the following item from the Memphis News- Scimiter: worB with thft ..lit fiVirt Th: anWAfc ku wn mim'nnnM' tiling wiu be lometking elte.", CAROLINA DECEMBER, 1913. R Um -h'm. Did that idea find! lodgment under your hat-band? i Yes, I am pretty certain the next thing will be something ee- but the Lord only knows wnat' iou win nave u excuse . i , i t j J I "gnt nere i am too moaest to even tninK aoout sucn imngs. ruce am 11 Sl n wlmmen 1 . A Sermon on Giving. You will find my text for this sermon in the tenth verse of the forty-leventh chapter of Sanford's Second Episjle to the ..School Children, which reads as lollows: "If Sambo Spraddledink gives Paty Plugugly three pounds of strip- , , . i ea canay, ana ratsy rmgugiy gives Tandy ; ho w Tuoh STS Now. brethren and sisterin, I hone vou realize the solemnity of this occasion. We have under con- Uideration a very important ques- fcion, and I hope you will all give u- mojum tj uoM auuu vuuo IT,- -111 , wy. in mr numr. mann.er. 10 buictaii tuc vci.y ouuxixu uuuui id. This business of giving some- thing to somebody for a Christ- mas present was all right when it was first hatched out, but it has been so abused and mistreated that it don't look a bit like itself. Sure Mike, there's just oodlins 0f people in the world who need things -at Christmas and all the rest Gf the time-but, if vou will notice, they are the very folks wno never set a doffffon thins. You see they are not supposed to aoie to give anyemng in return, and so they are politely left out of ht altogether And that's what makes this , "" numnu?. JLiiese nne.v-snmev sort of flower-pot folks who cut such capers over "Christmas presents" TJZSZ TX don't need puL vivo vvr OV1UVUVUJ uuuu 'em -somebody that can give other parties in exchange. hope present with each one that he will sret a little more in value than he gives. NO. 10. The Hermit of Pigeon Roost. The State of Indiana, during the last half century, has given the country a great many shining nierary ngnis. dux, none 01 toem naye got anyimng on cruce v,ai- i a . ii n si l vert, tne jnermni oi ngeon noost. I fl 11 ,1 !! 1 i i ioirs ner notnin; ime tnat to bother him, an' he don't lose no sleep over tne tasmons. lie lives by himself in a cabin in the w oods, goes barelooted ana in his shirt- tail whenever begets ready, and e umcKotirries, raw years ana turnip greens. Bruce Calvert is also the editor 1 n t . t ii i mi 0i a little magazine called Tne T fT ' . 18 dggn does write it with his old ragged shirt standing open in front, his breeches rolled up to his knees, and. the mud squirting up between his bare toes. e su Then sometimes Bruce gets on , f . , f. nh:pft. 1 vmj.j viwiu mpb.au. g.vuw w 'fc 7 New York, and other big places. and delivers lectures. Oh, yes, he can talk, all right, and he don't, care two straws what he says ner who hears it, either. Does Bruce "dress up' when he goes out on these lecturing trips? Well, I should reckon not. He goes to New York in the same garb that he wears at Piegon Roost, and he attracts more atten tion than a box car full of clowns. Bruce JJalvert is as well known all over the country as Elbert Hubbard, and a heap more re spected. In his own original way, Bruce is doing a good work. He is trying to teach the world that all this mad rushing around after monev and fashion ain't " " w" what it costs. He wants us to get back to the simple life, and he is willing to set the example. Let one of -- -- - jux itJar one club to The Fool-Killer each month during 1914:. "Rptw cfin make it one every week
Dec. 1, 1913, edition 1
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