Sunday, December 22, 1963 w
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PAUNCHY SANTA—Santa Claus
got a pre-christmas physical examina
tion at Memorial Hospital this week.
If he was worried at all about his
weight and the circumference of his
mid-section, he jolly well concealed it.
Checking Santa’s pulse and his weight
BULLETIN BOARD FOR SLOW SANTAS ■
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U£ (And useless to moan) i -hL* \ t
In a spin? Relax! Everything’s fine! I y \y 4,
Jl That as shoppers piost men \ • '^JT
Bring your list to ROBBINS... J|j. (ire quite late!
You’ll please all your ladles in just one trip! D yotl too are a sinner 1
You can yet be a winner j .WBmmtiqJLd
ROBBINS’ gifts always charm 1 W/MjM
to on' SV'?V cl miss or mate! y
Perfume Fragrance v£ f
ijxlpl Jr “® ! "' e W i , /r©]\
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’ ® p Coats, Suits, Dresses
Leallier or Suede Jackets * y j Robes, Negligees
beautiful gift PACKAGING HUNDREDS OF GIFT IDEAS EXPERT CONSULTANTS open till -
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is (at left) Frances Martin, a register
ed nurse .‘from* Fayetteville. Another
nurse, Pat Lyon of Broadway, is get
ting ready to drape a tape measure
around Santa's paunchy waist. There is
concern in health circles that Santa’s
shape isn’t healthy.
TfflS CHAPEL HILL WEEKLY
That Merry Old Tummy Isn’t Healthy
By DEMONT ROSEWAN
—That clatter on the rooftop
this holiday season isn’t coming
from Santa and his reindeers
making a practice run.
It’s coming from cardiolog
ists, anthropologists, sociolog
ists and a sprinkling of phy
siologists bolding a girth con
trol symposium. They’re hitting
the ceiling because Santa isn't
doing anything about his weight
problem.
Middle aee can be a hazar
dous time for tubby people. And
Santa, you know, is at that age.
He’s aDproachiog his late 30’s
(30 generations, not years).
The American Heart Associa
tion has never said, in so many
words, that Santa is too fat. But
there is some unofficial senti
ment that he’s a little on the
heavy side and isn't setting a
good example for the kids—or
their parents.
Although there's no guaran
tee that normal weight will pre
vent heart trouble," overweight
certainly is a heart hazard
Even Santa can’t lug all that
excess weight around without
some risk to his heart.
Heart specialists, reiving
heavily on mortality tables
put out by insurance companies,
say Santa csn’t expect to live
as Inn? if he continues on his
obesity kick.
The anthropologists aren’t
sure, at this point, that they’re
attending the right symposium,
but they’re in favor of a reso
lution calling for society’s image
makers to put their vast .talents
to work in developing a new pro
file for the typically tubby in
dividual under discussion.
Historically, the sociologists
point out, this isn't anything
radical. -
For hundreds of years, Euro
peans imagined St. Nick as a
tall, thin, stately person.
It was Washington Irving who
created the new picture of him.
Using the early American Dutch
settler as his model, Irving
made the Clu-istmas season
symbol as a fellow in huge
breeches and srnoking pipe.
Then Clement C. Moose came
along with his imortal poem
which begins ’Twas the night be
fore Christmas” and Santa’s
waistline took on preponderous
porportions. He became a jolly
figure with t winking eyes and
a "nose like a cherry.” A white
beard concealed his chubby face.
The physiologists feel that
Santa’s size is not functionally
unsold, but it’s not aesthetical
ly attractive—speaking health
wise.
The physical education peo
ple. who arrived at the sym
posium late because the show
ers at the evmnasium were out
of order., said Santa was not
only headed for an early grave
biit that he’s contributing to an
emphasis at Christmas-time on
slovenlv living—too much eating
and drinking.
Santa isn’t getting enough ex
ercise. He’s Watching television
while the elves and Mrs. Claus
make all the toys. Then Christ
mas night, he rides the sleigh
while the reindeers do the work.
There’s a minority opinion,
however, that Santa puts in a
heavy night’s work on Christ
mas. In fact, he works too hard
one night a year and, like the
snow shoveler who isn't used to
exercise, he’s asking for serious
trouble.
Aside from Santa endangering
his own health, he's contributing
to the health delinquency of his
huge following of youngsters.
“There’s too much emphasis
gladness fills every heart
J I WfflK and the air is astir with the
* lively spirit of the Christmas Season. ]|wrP
May you enjoy all of it to the utmost! y
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TJown & Campus
on ease,” said a rebellious phys
ical educator. “He brings bat
tery-operated toys and electric
trains.
“Kids don’t get exercise any
more from simple-wind-up toys,
scooters, skates and stuff.
“Instead of bringing Junior
a car, he ought to bring him a
bicycle and some good all-weath
er clothes.”
And, finally, a late-arriving
psychiatrist from the dream re
search laboratory suggested that
old Santa’s night-long work
schedule on crisp Christmas night
isn’t contributing to his good
health.
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