Newspapers / The Franklin Press and … / Jan. 2, 1958, edition 1 / Page 10
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Brady's BLARNEY By A Brady Called J. P. ILL Doesn't it seem a little ridicu lous lor this country to explain, In great detail, how It plans to ?end ? rocket to the moon when It hasn't yet figured out how to get a satellite rocket more than four feet off the ground? ? jpb ? A pre-season joke making the rounds said the Baptists had outlawed Santa Claus. Why? Because he has a reindeer named "Dancer". ? jpb ? While we're discussing the Jolty Fellow In the Red Under drawers, they're telling the story about Santa stopping the little boy on the street uptown and asking him what he want ed for Christmas. "Good gosh!" the boy ex claimed. '"Don't tell me the post u 1 office lost my letter." ? jpb ? My radio voice (news broad cast each Wednesday at 4:40 p. m.) leaves much to be de sired. It took only one record ing to convince me that my ; Southern drawl is flatter than I last week's ginger ale. The clincher came one day : this week, however, when a lit tle girl in a local store kept looking at me and smiling. Finally, her mother caught | up with her and said, "Yes honey, you're right. That's the man on the radio who sounds like Chester." Chester being, of course, the slow-talking sidekick of Matt Dillon, the frontier marshal of I the TV program "Gimsmoke". ? jpb ? As has been my custom for several years, I run a chronol ogy at the first of the year of events and Incidents that took shape within the rules of this column In the past 12 months. So, here's 1957's contribution to history: JANUARY: Filling station op erator, C. M. Byrd, observed several black eyes sported by local males and wryly observed, "They all must have been rid ing the same mule" . . . "Uncle Bob" Davis passed on some sage advice in prose: As you wend your way through life, friend, no matter what your goal, keep your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole ... a local fellow who invested in one of those gas-saving devices ended up having to install a 1 bucket on his gas tank to catch i gasoline overflowing . . . FEBRUARY: Town Clerk C. | O. Ramsey was telling about the fellow who was asked, "Do you owe any back house rent?" To which the fellow replied, "Good- j ness no! We haven't had a | back house in years ? we use , modern plumbing." . . . appears the ELK'S have taken over the new building on Main Street. The sign man neglected for several days to install the B. . . . Have you seen the new pencils used by some of the town's secretaries. They're In scribed, "Sincerely Yours, Elvis Presley" . . . ladles' hats are the topic, and a heated one, It : developed . . . MARCH: Carroll Gibson, a' | ruby mine owner, took hi* first ? "and but" ? airplane ride to Toccoa to have a ruby apprais ed ... J. U West, Jr., determ ; lned to win something In a , give-away, registered not only | the members of his family, but "his Beagles - . . APRIL: As proof that Spring has arrived, Policeman Homer Cochran asked, "Know where a fellow can swap some long handled underwear for a good straw hat" , . . at the N.C.EA. birthday party at Franklin High, this column's author was tagged as "Mr. Brandy" . . . Franklin Photographer J. C. Crisp Is a "fnrrlner", born In Japan, North Carolina that Is . . . MAY: A ruby lost by Brady's Blarney several months turned up at Roger Sutton's cleaning establishment ... an Individ ualist Is a fellow who Inten tionally tosses away the chew ing gum and eats the wrap per . . . Mrs. Claude Leather man decided It was Kllroy who made the mysterious footprints in the flint rock on Ellijay . . . Tax man Jack Powell's daugh ter was disappointed after a visit to the prison camp. "We saw the bloodhdund," she re ported. "But be didnt bleed" . . . a former Franklin pastor, the Rev. J. Bryan Hatchett, led a successful crusade to break up bootlegging in Commerce, Ga. . . . Hall Callahan suffered for three days in the same suit of clothes while on a trip. His ?having bomb <Mscft*sed. acci dentally In his suite w .. . . | JUNE: After umpteen yean, a door knob was Installed on. the back door of the court house . . . remember when you were a kid and you used to hobble around half the summer on your toes because of stone bruises on your heels? . '. .. Waitress Martha Jones got the following note from a large family of travelers: The food was delicious, the service divine. But I'll have to be a cheap skate, with a family like 'mine! . . . ? JULY: County commissioner W. E. Baldwin passed along ?a Back Seat Driver's license, ls< sued by the State of Nervous ness, Bureau of Nuisances . . . Bob Moore, coach of a Little League team explained, "One mistake we've made?. . . . was showing up for the game," ; finished Dr. O. R. McSween . .. . ! AUGUST: Brady's Blarney goes to New Yorki where It. la, subjected to a number of ad ventures, Including a woman who walked Into the men's room in a filling station) in. South Boston, Va. . . . Harley Lyle recalled his younger days of derrlngdo when he Jumped' from an airplane to colleet a $5 bet ... I turn down rich food with the explanation that "L have to watch my figure.' Anrt from a far corner comes the voice of my wife, saying: "Y"e^ watch it grow, and grow, and. ?r mm . . you-all la plural, not lingular as voiced by Yankee mimics . . . SKP1TUBKR : Two assistant extension scents, Mrs. Mabel Swan and Kenneth Perry, are mtst.alrrrr for mother and son .. . . Gene Pannell and some of the boys help out family in need . . . Doug Simpson has "una Ire" trouble, thanks to the strategy of Red Stewart and Tommy Jenkins . . . Jim Hilton tells of a man who woke an other man up at 4 a m. to bum a cigarette and then comment ed. "Don't see how you can make a living sleeping all day" . . . the Rev. Don Langfitt dis covered that his antique "sew ing cabinet" was really a liquor cabinet and he decided to post ' a sign on It declaring, This Is Sat A Liquor Cabinet. Ed Wll- ; liams offered the most direct ' approach of. This Is A Sewing Cabinet . . . OCTOBER: A little girl came home from Sunday School fill ed with glowing reports of the lesson about "Moses and the Fills". Hqr parents finally saw the light dawn when the little girl related how Moses went t)p the mountain and came back with a bunch of tablets . . . after 25 years, Suptl H. Bueck found it hard to keep from say ing "Murphy sc!k*)1s" over the telephone . . . After a trip to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Tom Set ser's little daughter tearfully reported: "You said we were we*i itmt did." . . . NOVfBll) : Paul tow er's commtnu about a. motel near Ranklin without at bath room iMr. only a car tain, started off a good UD that finally ended with everyone be ing palk again . . . John Arch er's doe"Btoky", Is conned out of his food by a mutt named "FIJI", when Claude Bottom and Hunter Calloway decided to help out . . ..a child la an atyect* standing between an adult and a television set . . . R. D. Car son decided the county rural awards banquet was better than "Gunsmoke" . . . Bryan Setser was "stilt" by rumor . .... DECHMBER: "Please,*" said Congre?man George Shuford, when asked If be had anything to say to a voter . . . Barney's lookallHe, Frank L. Ramsey, re ports Having a little troutOe . . . a screech owl takes ores- florist J. L. ITtet's truck . ... HAJW NEW YEAR! ' for pick-up and delivery Dry Cleaning PHONE* CITY DRY CLEANERS We give Green Stamps -Adverse Conditions demand Action FORCED TO DUMP SU RPLUS I NVEN TORY Prices S/ashec/ _ To _ Rock Bottom !. COATS ALL WOMEN'S AND CHILDREN'S REDUCED BELOW y2 OF REGULAR PRICE CAR-COATS REDUCED BELOW Vs OF REGULAR PRICE WOMEN'S COTTON SLIPS First Quality ? Sanforized and Full Cut Eyelet Trimmed Tops and Ruffled Bottom Regular $1.98 Value Sizes 32 - 44 $1.00 WOMEN'S DOUBLE PANEL COTTON SLIPS Full Double Panel ? Full Cut ? Sanforized Lace T rimmed ? Sizes 32 - 44 Regular $2.49 Value 2 For $3.00 3000 Yards HEAVY WEIGHT FLANNEL Stripes and Fancy Patterns Fast Colors ? Full 36" Width Regular 49c yd. Value 3 Yards $1,00 MEN'S LONG SLEEVE COTTON FLANNEL SHIRTS Assorted Plaids and Stripes Regular $1.98 - $2.49 Value 2 for $3.00 ONE BIG TABLE CHILDREN'S AND WOMEN'S OUTING AND KNIT Pajamas and GOWNS Reduced ri.'m 5 WOMEN'S DRESSY DRESSES Many Styles and Patterns to Choose from All New and Clean Merchandise Sizes and Styles to Suit and Fit all REDUCED 1^ of Regular as Much as 2 PRICE WOMEN'S AND CHILDREN'S RAYON PANTIES First Quality White and Assorted Colors Sizes 2-14 and Medium and Large in Women's Sizes Regular 39c Value 5 Pairs for $1 CHILDREN'S COTTON SLIPS Full Cut and Sanforized ? Ruffled Bottom f Sizes 2-14 Regular $1.00 Value JANUARY SPECIAL! 2 for 99c PART WOOL CHATHAM BLANKETS Solid Colors ? Sizes 72" x 86" Regular $7.95 Value Special $4.99 s
The Franklin Press and the Highlands Maconian (Franklin, N.C.)
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Jan. 2, 1958, edition 1
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