Newspapers / The Waynesville Mountaineer (Waynesville, … / Dec. 10, 1936, edition 1 / Page 8
Part of The Waynesville Mountaineer (Waynesville, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10, m "Sneeze Girl" America Now In New Era Of Land Use, Says Bennett Head of Soil Conservation Ser vice Tells N. C. Grange Coun try Is Advancing In Saving Soil '4 ( AS HE SEES THE HUMAN SIDE 0' LIFE THE WAYNESVILLE MOUNTAINEER Howdy, fokes! This wk. I'm a-goin' Rite at this pint I wan to stop an' thank Wayne riaynes (way oown in Passadena, Texas, ( Miss Miller, John Evans. Dock Noland, John Hipps, Dr. Walker, Dr. Gudger, an' others "But the mistery to me is," sed Dr. Walker, why a man what can rite yoomerus stuff like you don't show sum uvit in hiz konversashun." "Gloary be!" sez I, "that's the best kompliment I've had yit, Doctur . . now I no that I'm a rale yoomerist." "Why so?" he axt. Caze it's sed that a rale yoomerist never shows it, on the outside ;he jist gaze moapin' a-round sorter solum like, an' may eab'm be found sumtimes in cemeterys a-writin' hiz stuff. to shoot rite nquar over the Editurs hed! I axt him t'other day to give me sort uv a a rest from this here Human Side stuff by lettin' me rite surap'm rale seiWyus for 2 cr 3 wks. . . an' here's what he sed, sez he "It won't do, Unkle Abe . . eaze fokes don't reed rale see-vyus, hevvy Btuff enny mure. We've got to give our reeders what they're hankerin' aiter. Besides,' sez he, "I don't think you can preech to fokes very well no how not sence yore pipes froaz up 2 winters ago. Yore dewty is to make em laff . . eab'm if you haff to put on them white pants agin to do it." Yes, but Tom Medford an' Riley, Shurf Welch, Dock Turpin and Green McClure wants me to preech em a sermint 'bout twiast a month," set I, "a sermint sorter like the one that ol' gray-bearded man preecht here on the street 3 or 4 yeers ago." "Well, you'll haff to go to em an' preech then," the Editur replide, -aze you kaint preech throo my or gan." "Lord-a-masscy!" sez I, "I wuzn't a-wuntin' to preech throo yore organs." But that settled it . . . an' here I am, a-startin' out on Unkle Abe agin without a darn thing to rite about. It's bin too wet an' windy fer me to get out an' git a frash doast of In uperashun today, an' all I can see, or think uv, to rite about jist now i my naybor's garage (lore a-flappin' to an' fruw in the wind . . and thar's not a durn thing funny 'bout that. But a man whooz jist a simple joker is different . . he is moast ginerly a jolly feller, an' alius laffs at hiz own jokes. Frinstance, Big Charley Medford, Bill McKrary, Walter Crawford, Shurf Cabe, "Bill Bars," Tom Green, Lee Trantham, Horace Sentell, the Davis boys an' Silas Jolly air jokers- sum of em furst class. iH 1 Saving money by doing without the insurance you really need is likely to prove expensive. You know many regrettable examples. Profit by them before it is too late. The L. N. Davis Co. TELEPHONE 77 Loans Real Estate Rentals Insurance and Bonds. UNKLE ABE WANTS 2-BIT RAZE An' now, Deer Reeders, here's sump'm Unkle Aba aint makin' no see-krit 'bout I want ye to help me out with the Editur in gitten a 2-bit raze in sallery caze it's hard work makin' fokes laff. This is 'speshly troo of peeple with Indigeschun, ol' made pkool teechers, an' them as what haff to winter their monther-in-law. Howsumever, Unkle Abe thinks he'n dun purty well. Here's the Reckord in 2 yeers, 3 mos, Kyored 1205 cases of Indgeschun an' Blooz (sum kronicky) I'reventid 19 Sooeysides Pro-iloost 8400 yds. of smiles (aprox.) Thro wet sevril men into laffin' fit's (Docturs had to be called) Cauzed ane gal to laff so hard she fell out of the bed, swallerd her gum an' messed up her Jinny wave. Turned one woman's tickle box kleen over. Now, I don't think Mark Twain, Bill Nye, Eddie Kantor, of enny other grate yoomerist can pint to jist sitch a Reckord as this, leestwize I've never hearn uv-it. Don't-chu think, fokesc, I deserve a 2-bit raze? Mary Margaret Cleer Mary Margaret Cleer. 13-year-old Fort Myer. Va.. "sneeze victim", forced a smile for the camera as she entered Johns Hopkins hos pital at Baltimore where expert specialists will study her case. No explanation was given of her malady which has caused her to sneeze every few minutes for the past two months. 50 Women At Can ning Demonstration The meat canning demonstration which was given in the kitchen of the First Baptist church on Tues day morning a week ago by Miss Gladys Kimbrough, food preservation specialist, under the auspices of the Extension Service, was attended by fifty or more women from all parts of the county. Miss Kimbrough was introduced by Miss Mary Margaret Smith, county home demonstration agent. She gave a full and detailed demonstration of the best method of canning pork and beef. Following the demonstration a question period was enjoyed, when Miss Kinbrough helped solve many of the individual problems of those present. GO TO IT. KING! Well, eveTboddy seems to be talkin' about the King an' Mrs. Simpson jist now . . never node peeple to git so ecksited over a coartship before. A man axt me only yistedray, sez he "Do ve think Eddy rter marry that gal?" "I think so," sez L "if he'fi struck on-er like he seems to be shettin' hizself up in that big hous an' broodin' over her like the Devil. Course, Wallv haz bin married twiast hereto fore," sez I, "an' wood thar fore, come 3rd handed, sorter like korn bredj warmed over the 2nd time . . but, aiter all, she seems to be a purty peart ol' gal. But thar's 2 taingt? Eddy orter find out before he takes the faittle step," sez I. "What's that " the man axt. "Furst. he orter find out whethur; Wally can make good biskits or not; an', seckond, if she's a-goin' t-j ck spect him to let'er warm 'er feet on hiz back in winter-time. Then, if the furst queschun is answered in the 'firmative an' the seckond in the neagr ative, I wood sav, "Go To It Eddy!" An' I think Dor'thy Dix wood say sd, too. Yores trooly, UNKLE ABE. RALEIGH, (Special to The Moun taineer.) -Addressing the annual ses fuon of the North Carolina State Grange here Wednesday night, De cember 9, H. H. Bennett, Chief of the Soil Conservation Service, Washing ton, D. C, told members that in the last few years the country has made a far greater advance toward the con servation of soil resources than in all preceding years since the United States beeame a nation. "The national program of soil and water conservation now in progress has carried us into a new era of land use," he said. "Land defense is re placing the old system of land waste and exploitation." In North Carolina alone farmers representing more than 400,000 acres are co-operating with the Soil Con servation Service and the State Col lege Extension Service to conserve the soil. Bennett declared. Accom plishments in North Carolina are typ ical, he said, "not only of work here but also in Virginia and South Caro lina and on to the Pacific and Cana dian border." Describing his observations on a 3,000-mile inspection tour of eeven southern states, Bennett stated that "the condition of our agricultural land in the southeast farming states is grim evidence that people of this youthful nation have squandered their rich heritage of productive land more rapidly than any other nation, civ ilized or barbaric, of which we have any record." Bennett pointed out, however, that a tremendous area of good soil throughout the region is still fertile and productive. Many areas that nave been damaged only moderately can be safeguarded Urom further decline through the use of proven measures for conserving rainfall and controll ing erosion, he said. Continuation of the present policy of working agreeably and co-operatively with farmers and state federal agencies will "forthwith" bring a so lution to the national problem of un necessary and costly land destruction and decline, Bennett concluded. r. j r Holmes and Edwards, in laid silverware. 29-piece set. Unconditionally guaranteed. Straford Sectional plate silverware, unconditionally $ guaranteed. 34-fiece Set Ladies' Elgin, 18-0 size in natural yellow gold, with gold filled bracelet to match. Exquisite baguette wrist watch, fully jeweled and guaranteed, with metal bracelet. The Ronson, combination cigarette lighter and case. The world's best lighter. An ideal ffift ? Our stock consists of na tionally known lines of & watches, including: Eljjin, Hamilton, Gothic jar-proof and Bruner. NO MERCY KILLING A bill to permit physicians to put an end to the sufferings of the incurable was defeated 35 to 14 last week in the British House of Lords. TRADE IN YOUR OLD WATCH ON A NEW ONE LIBERAL ALLOWANCE. Chandler & Company Credit Jewelers PHONE 19 CHURCH ST. WAYNESVILLE, N.C. I I SOUTH SETS NEW RECORD All-time records for construction and engineering awards in the 16 Southern States were made in Novem ber. The awards amounted to $44,- 415,000. Vuat your Electrical Do;. er"i store or our aalesrocxs for gift that will give year "round pleasure! Scores of attractive useful remem brance await your selection. Pricei rt within reach of tut CAROLINA POWER & LIGHT COMPANY Electrical Gift brings lasting If you're one of those people who like to see money well spent and want to give Christ mas presents that are not only nice remembrances but very useful, too. you'll find this store the ideal place to shop. Everything we have is the last word in usefulness things that will bring pleasure the year 'round. And you could not find a place where your money would buy more! Electric Toaster $2.95 up Happiness ! Electricity Is Cheap Enjoy More Of Itt Waffle Irons $4.00 ip O0 oc I p4 ! 3-Heat HEATING PAD $3.25 Percolators $3 up Automatic MIXMASTER We feature the famous Mix master because it is the MOST POWERFUL portable mixer on all speeds. Mixes and beats more EVENLY with a WIDER RANGE of FULL-POWER beater -speeds that won't slow down as batter thickens or you add ingredients. Has the new type FULL-MIX beaters. Pre ferred by women everywhere. C nmnlete with juice extractor, 2 k ' sly jade green bowls, only $22.50. Martin Electric Company Sift"" y PHONE 31 We Service Anything We Sell" CHURCH 3 11
The Waynesville Mountaineer (Waynesville, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Dec. 10, 1936, edition 1
8
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75