Page 8 - The Perquimans Weekly, Hertford, N.C., Thursday, July 23,1998
sending kids off to coiiege
Prepare children before they leave home
Sending a child off to college
can bring a flood of doubt. Is
my child really prepared?
Have I done everything I can?
Will he or she adjust?
Though it can be a turbu
lent time, there are guidelines
you can follow to help your
child adjust to college life, says
Radford University psycholo
gy professor Jeffrey Chase. He
suggests:
• If the school offers a fresh
man orientation class, encour-
agie your child to enroll.
“When I taught freshmen ori
entation, I was struck by how
lonely some students are at
first,” says Chase, “but people
in;. freshman orientation
founds friends more easily and
weren’t isolated. It was easy
for them to bond and find com
monality.”
• Encourage your child to
become involved in extracur
ricular activities like clubs,
church activities and athletics.
“Studies show that students
who become involved in
school are more likely to
adjust well,” he says.
• “If you went to college,
share about your own experi
ences, both positive and some
negative, so that they’ll know
from first-hand experience
that there’s life after college,”
says Chase.
• Reinforce the idea that
they need to “respect others
and treat others the way they
would want to be treated.”
• Teach them the impor-
How to ‘cut the cord’
3A baby is born and the
umbilical cord is cut, decisive
ly separating the newborn
from its previous protected
existence. About 18 years
later, another kind of cord is
often cut when a child leaves
fpr college, establishing a
more independent life and cre
ating new family dynamics.
- Though this can be a trau
matic time, there are things
you can do to minimize the
transition, says Radford
University psychology profes
sor Tom Mullis.
“Being the caretaker of
young children can give a per
son a sense of purpose,” says
Mullis. “When that role
changes, it’s almost like a loss.
There can be a time of mourn
ing.”
To ease the sense of loss,
Mullis suggests remembering
that your purpose extends
beyond that of “father of moth
er.” He also suggests substitut
ing the parent/child relation
ship with other meaningful
relationships. “You can work
more on friendships and
reaching out to others,” he
says. “You can also rekindle
your relationship with your
spouse by remembering what
attracted you in the first
place.”
When there’s a sibling
involved, the loss of a close
brother or sister can be even
more upsetting that it is for
parents, says Mullis. To mini
mize the transition, he sug
gests providing continuity
through phone calls, e-mail
messages or regular visits.
For parents who are send
ing their last or only child off
to college, the full force of the
“empty nest” syndrome can
come as a surprise. “It can be
very difficult for parents when
the children are gone,” says
Mullis. Some research shows
that men have a harder time
dealing with the “empty nest”
than women, he says, perhaps
because mothers traditionally
carry most of the childcare
burdens so they’re more likely
to welcome freedom, though
it’s mixed with sadness. Men,
however, may mourn the
inevitability of lost opportuni
ties without feeling the same
release from responsibility.
“Learn to appreciate the
fact that you can still maintain
a relationship with your child.
Covering the cost of college
It’s a math problem all par
ents fear: “By the time my son
or daughter is ready to go to
college, how much will it
cost?” Equally daunting is the
corollary question: “How will
we ever afford it?”
College costs have risen dra
matically over the past two
decades and the trend is
expected to continue. While
inflation has increased 80 per
cent since 1980, college costs
have risen 221 percent during
the same time period accord
ing to The Heritage
Eoamdation. As costs continue
td-^increase six to seven per
cent annually, parents of a
cljild born in 1998 and entering
college in 2016 can expect a
foi5r-year public education to
bk»around $140,000, while four
yl^rs at a private school could
b^s much as $286,000.
’feefore you throw your cal-
cti^tor out the window, there
i^ood news. No matter if
y^ip’re the parent of a newborn
o^tetting ready to send a child
opto school this fall, there are
ntoe options than ever to help
p&ifor college.
^i^The trend in financial aid
i^ ‘wrapping’,” explains
l^rbert S. (Buddy) Johnston,
d^rtr^ctor of financial aid at
Rsidford University in
Fffl^ord, Va. “We wrap togeth
er k number of financing
options, including scholar
ships, grants, loans and work-
stiidy, to present the best pos
sible aid package to a student.”
ivihiiy schools can estimate the
ahyount of aid a student might
r.^eive even before he or she
aj^lies. “By filling out a one-
pp^e worksheet, parents and
^dents can get a rough idea
dt-the types of aid available,”
ei^lains Johnston.
>The Internet is making the
pipcess even easier as many
colleges and universities have
c^-line calculators and appli-
datlon forms. “Parents, stu-
(^ts and guidance counselors
really beginning to use the
Internet to get information
gfiout paying for college,” says
ishnston. “In the past a per-
tance of moderation, especial
ly in light of the fact that poor
grades and almost all sexual
assaults are associated with
alcohol consumption, especial
ly binge drinking. “No matter
what age you are, you should
never indulge to the point
where you lose your aware
ness and sense of good judg
ment because the conse
quences could cause lifelong
pain.”
• Teach college students
that if they get a bad grade
they shouldn’t take it personal
ly. “Professors don’t give bad
grades because they don’t like
you, but because of the prod
uct. No matter how fervently
you believe something, you
need to learn to justify your
position with facts and logic,
not talk show style expres
sions of emotion.”
• Anticipate that a child
away at college will feel home
sick and lonely the first semes
ter, says Chase. “But if they’re
still feeling isolated at the end
of the first semester, or cer
tainly the second semester,
that’s a red flag something is
wrong.”
• Reinforce the basics of
stress management, including
tried-and-true strategies like
getting plenty of sleep, exer
cise, good nutrition and relax
ation.
• To improve grades, stu
dents can try the following
strategies, says Chase: sit in
the front of the class; ask ques-
son would write off to a college
and have to wait several weeks
to find out what kind of aid
was available. Now he or she
can click on a web site and
learn about eligibility, apply
for financial aid over the
Internet or even do free schol
arship searches in a matter of
minutes.”
While the amount of overall
aid available is increasing in
the United States, up five per
cent over last year, Johnston
warns against relying too
much on financial aid and
encourages people to do some
wrapping of their own.
“Parents and students have
gotten quite creative and are
figuring out ways to get a little
here and there to help supple
ment aid.”
Sparking this creativity is
the availability of more college
funding programs than ever
before. Parents and students
can choose from a number of
investment and payment
options to combine with finan
cial aid and scholarships.
Some of the newer college
funding programs growing in
popularity include state sav
ings trusts and savings bonds,
prepaid tuition programs and
installment plans.
The interest in these
options is growing thanks in
part to new tax laws deferring
payment of federal and state
taxes on the increase in value
of tuition plans and other sav
ings for higher education
expenses. At the same time
there are important considera
tions associated with each
option. As always, it is best to
consult a financial advisor for
specific information.
State savings trusts and
savings bonds - While they
don’t earn as much of a return
on investment as mutual funds
or stocks, state savings trusts
and savings bonds can provide
substantial tax advantages
under certain conditions. The
catch is there are often strict
requirements on the way
investments are set up and
how they are used. Still, sav-
tions; take the book to class
and follow along; study with
someone who did better than
you; review old exams; and
talk to professors, especially if
you don’t understand some
thing. “Maintaining an ongo
ing dialogue with professors is
important,” says Chase.
“Especially if you want your
professors to understand your
difficulties and gauge your
level of effort.”
• Pay attention to learning
style. “A student who is an
auditory learner might want
to tape record lectures and a
visual learner might benefit
from drawing diagrams. It
helps to know how you learn
best.”
• Expect to be challenged.
“If you get through college and
aren’t challenged, that’s a
but you don’t have the burden
of direct responsibility. It may
take a while, but you can learn
to appreciate your freedom.
If you can afford it, Mullis
suggests preserving a college
student’s room at home, or at
least providing some kind of
place for them to return to for
about five years. “Keeping
things that are theirs can give
them a sense of home,” he
says. “Especially when chil
dren are in the midst of a
stressful and competitive col
lege environment, I think it
helps to know they’re welcome
at home.”
On the other hand, some
children take the “you-can-
always-go-home” message too
literally, says Mullis. “In the
last ten to 15 years, more and
more adult children are living
at home. One in four single
males under the age of 30 still
lives at home with his par
ents.”
Sometimes children return
after college or divorce
because economic realities
make it difficult for them to
survive financially, says
Mullis, “but often it’s simply
than an adult child feels enti
tled to certain luxuries like a
nice house, VCR and
microwave. They aren't will-
ings trusts and bonds are rela
tively safe investments and
guarantee some money is set
aside for college.
Prepaid tuition plans -
Prepaid tuition plans lock
future costs into today’s
prices. Parents and students
pay the current college cost
and don’t have to worry about
increases by the time a student
goes off to college. Many states
have prepaid tuition plans or
are considering them and par
ents and students should con
tact plan representatives for
specific information.
Depending on the plan, pay
ments can be in installments
or lump sums and the state
assumes all risk of invest
ments. Again, a family’s finan
cial situation and investment
strategy are important factors.
While the money may have a
greater return in other invest
ments prepayment plans offer
security. They are, however,
not for everyone. Prepaid
tuition plans can be attractive
to middle income families
interested in conservative
investments, but for low-
income families the plans may
actually jeopardize chances for
aid while forfeiting money
needed for immediate essen-
shame,” says Chase. “College
should be a challenging experi
ence, both intellectually and
socially. With increasing
diversity on college campuses, ■
it’s no longer the norm that
people come from similar
backgrounds and beliefs. Skill
in understanding and getting
along with others is not only
important at college, but
increasingly a requirement for
employment. Why not practice
now?”
Learning to handle the
responsibility that comes with
freedom is really something
that happens gradually, says
Chase. “You can't send them
off to college and expect them
to choose rightly if you haven’t
been instructing them all
along,” he says. ‘Learning to
make the right decisions is
really a lifelong process.”
ing to strike out on their own
and delay gratification.”
Besides the desire to enjoy
luxuries, people today are get
ting married later in life, says
Mullis. “After all, the advan
tages of marriage aren’t as
good as they used to be, when
you can have a full refrigera
tor, a warm bed and the bene
fits of marriage with a long
term relationship, why strug
gle to get by in a substandard
apartment, where it’s a battle
each week to find enough
money to go to the movies?
When you can have the benefit
of marriage without the strug
gle, the motivation for mar
riage diminishes.”
Children who are unwilling
to strike out on their own
might be more motivated if
they’re required to pay rent
and take on more responsibili
ty, but parents sometimes
have a dysfunctional desire to
protect their children from
life’s hard realities, says
Mullis.
“Remember that a good par
ent raises a child to eventually
leave them,” he says. “If your
child is independent, you can
take pride in that. There’s sad
ness, but there’s also joy,
knowing that you’ve raised a
healthy, responsible child.”
tials.
Parents and students should
think of all possible scenarios
before participating in tuition
prepayment plans and ask
questions such as “What hap
pens if my son or daughter
wants to attend an out-of-state
school?” or even “What if he
or she doesn’t want to go to
college?” Although plans can
sometimes be transferred to
another family member at no
cost, most refunds come with
penalties and without interest.
Installment plans
Installment plans are “pay as
you go” plans that allow par
ents and students to spread out
tuition in smaller payments,
instead of paying a lump sum
each semester. These plans are
especially attractive for par
ents and students who haven’t
saved up money for college but
can pay out of regular cash
Bow. In many cases, they can
be a good alternative to going
into debt. Many schools handle
their own tuition payment
plans with payments spread
over 3 to 12 months depending
on the school.
Parents and students have
more options than ever before
when confronted with paying
for college.
BEAN MAN, INC.
FRESH FROZEN VEGETABLES
CALL TO ORDER: 252-758-9226 OR 800-906-6626
CALL MONDAY - THURSDAY 8 AM - 6 PM, FRIDAY 8 AM -12 NOON
20 lbs.
BUTTER BEANS, Tiny Baby
‘26'“
20 lbs.
BUTTER BEANS, Speckled
•23““
6/2 lbs.
CORN Nuggets, Sweet
‘24”“
48/5 5”
CORN on the COB, Yellow
‘24““
20 lbs.
CORN, White Shoepeg ,, ..
•24““
20 lbs.
CORN, Yellow Cut
*22^®
30 lbs.
FRENCH FRIES, KRINKLE CUT (6/5#)
20 lbs.
PEAS, Sweet Green, Garden
*22“®
12/2 lbs.
BROCCOLI SPEARS
‘28““
120
APPLE TURNOVERS, 3 oz. each
‘32“'
30 lbs
STRAWBERRIES, Whole
21 lbs
SWEET POTATO YAM PATTY Approx 22-1.
‘20“' ■
12/3 lbs
COLLARD or TURNIP GREENS, Chopped .
‘30
20 lbs.
PEACHES sliced
‘36'-
20 lbs.
OKRA Cut, Breaded or Whole
‘24““
NC SALRS TAX IS Ar’)DITIONAL
DELIVERY DATE: SATURDAY, JULY 25, 11-1 P.M.
DELIVERY LOCATION: CABINET OUTLET, EDENTON
The Town of Winfall will hold a
public hearing August 5, 1998 at
6:00 P.M. at the Winfall Town Hall
concerning an ordinance on junk
cars in Winfall and a resolution on
natural gas. Town Council will
hold a workshop following the
public hearing.
I I I I t I I I I I I I I I I
T-BONE Steak iVhole
- Sliced FREE ’2.88
18.
WHOLE PORK LOIN - -o
Sliced FREE 51.48 LB.
FAMILY PACK - PORK CHOPS
Half Center Cut - Lean! Leanl....$1.58 LB.
PEANUT CITY HAM
Sliced FREE $138 LB.
' WHOLE PI6 FOR BAR B Q.. 78( LB.
SLB. DRY LINK SAUSAGE $6.50
S LB. GREEN LINK SAUSAGE $6.50
5 LB. PATTIE CAKE SAUSAGE $5.00
HeAr;
Choice
“Onan 7 Davs A Week!”
Hwy. 17 (City Limits)
Windsor, NC • 794-9655
Owners; B.W. & Mary Davenport
51 Years Cutting Meats!
WE ACCEPT FOOD STAMPS!J
ATTENTION HOMEOWNERS!
Loans processed, approved and closed locally.
As Low As
Per Month
Loan
Amount
15 yrs.
20 yrs.
30 yrs.
$15,000
$168.14
$152.28
$140.02
$25,000
$280.24
$253.81
$233.37
$50,000
$560.47
$507.61
$466.74
[nterest Rale: 10.75% * APR: 11.579% * Rates subject to change.
Homeowner loans can be used for:
• Bill consolidation. • College tuition. • Refinance to lower rate. • Investments.
Vacations. • Home improvements. • Medical bills. • Doublewide mobile homes & land.
* Bankruptcy, slow credit? No problem!
FMC ©
1-888-846-3063 • (2527321-3863
204 E. Arlington Blvd., Suite M • Greenville, NC 27858
17 .1^^®
Funding