Newspapers / The Kings Mountain Herald … / Nov. 16, 1988, edition 1 / Page 11
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When the ball is snapped, Bambach assumes his typical position -- one of sheer terior that he might have to carry the ball. (Robert Williams) Bizarre Coach Teaches How To Lose At Football And Win In Life By ROBERT L. WILLIAMS When sports enthusiasts think of football’s outstanding coaches, they think of Pop Warner or Amos Alonzo Stagg or even Bud Wilkinson and Bear Bryant. No one ever thinks of Bill Bambach as an outstanding coach. In fact, most people have never heard of him at all until several regional and national magazines publish- ed articles about the coach’s unorthodox approach to football. Bill Bambach, a resident of Charlotte, is a teacher at the North Carolina Department of Corrections on the Cherryville Dallas Highway. And while he has enjoyed great success as a classroom teacher, it is as foot- ball’s losingest coach that he has achieved national attention. Bambach, it seems, instructs -- no, he orders! - his players to lose every game they play. His intricate system of plays defies every known method in football particularly or in sports general- 1 y. Bambach himself plays quarterback for the team. Holding a slender cigar in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, he waits for the center to snap the ball. “The cigar and the coffee cup are to make certain that I do not catch the ball, Bambach ex- plains. “If I catch it, there is a certain danger that I might com- plete a pass or gain a yard or two, and such actions would defy the whole game plan.” When the ball is snapped, it usually bounces off the chest of the quarterback/coach and into the waiting arms of a defensive lineman who quickly and easily trots down the field to score another of an incredible number of touchdowns. “We once had an end actually catch a pass, in spite of his specific orders to the contrary,” Bambach says. ‘After that time it became necessary to stress to the players that another such lapse of instructions would make it necessary for me to talk rather sternly to the person.” In a typical game, particularly | as the team played several mon- ths ago, Bambach’s team would § kick off and lie down or stand and talk among themselves while the opposing team scored an unop- posed touchdown. Then, when Bambach’s team received the ball on the next kickoff, the Losers (Bambach’s team) would let the ball bounce out of the receiver's arms and the other team then scooped up the ball for another touchdown. “We make it a point never to gain any yardage in any way,” Coach Bambach says. ‘And similarly we make it a point never to interfere with the other team’s desires to score. It does not matter to us how badly we are beaten. No, let me correct myself and say that the worse we are outscored, the better we like it. The team in its original struc- ture even had cheerleaders. “Our cheers originally con- sisted of such challenging yells as ‘Drop that Pass’ and ‘Fold that Line.’ And, surprisingly enough, the game plan continues to work game after game.” Any team, includng one com- posed of grandmothers, could easily run up a score of 200-0 in a matter of minutes. ’’ Anybody can score on one of my teams,” Bambach says pro- udly. “And we cannot and will not score against anyone. It's a matter of pride and philosophy and changing is out of the ques- tion.” But what kinds of reasoning, no matter how warped, could justify such a flagrant disregard for athletic competition? “My students, at least those who were in the earlier classes, were young men who had been found quilty of committing a crime, of breaking the rules of _ society, and they were being punished for their actions. The general tendency among them was to allow the notion that they were losers to control their think- ing,” the coach explains. “So I set out to show them that losing a football game in no way makes a person a failure. My students had made mistakes, but they were and are not failures. I wanted them to understand that they had not become failures.” At one point some sociology students from Davidson College came to see a game, and one stu- dent assailed Bambach verbally after the game with accusations that he had made a mockery of the sport. Bambach’s retaliation was, in essence, that sports themselves are a mockery of life. “What you want to see is brutality and savagery,” he told the student, ‘‘and these are precisely the qualities that we are trying to eliminate from the thinking of my players.” Bambach regularly stresses to his students/players that any game or athletic event is one of the few commodities in life that has time boundaries placed upon it. ‘Life isn’t governed by specific times,” he argues. “The exact moment for birth is never dictated by the Rules of Life. The precise moment for Life to end is not dictated either. For that mat- ter, from a religious viewpoint, even death does not end the game of Life. But when the final seconds tick off the scoreboard clock, the football game ends. When the final out of the last inn- Bill Bambach, coach and quarterback, goes through football prac- tice with his “losingest”” team. (Robert Williams photo) ing of a baseball game is record- ed, the game is over. Life is simply not that way.” Bambach devotes con- siderable time and energy to in- stilling into the minds of his charges that their lives as honest and productive members of society did not end at the exact moment their sentences were handed down. “There is no end to productive living,” he repeats, “until the person himself makes that deci- sion, and losing a football game -- or being found guilty of breaking society’s laws -- cannot con- stitute the end of productive liv- ing and positive contributions to modern society.” Shakespeare, Bambach agrees, is more popular and more widely known today than he ever was during his life. He notes that many great composers began their careers with resoun- ding failures but they retained their beliefs in their lives and work and are now recognized as geniuses. “I have been successful ina huge area of my work if I can convince these young men that they are not losers until they believe that they are losers. I want them to see that they can lose game after game after game and never lose their faith in their abilities. Losing is never equal to failing.” Bambach is quick to point out, however, that his teams did not lose every game. “We were 12-2 one season,” he says. ‘The other teams become so frustrated with our deliberate ineptitude that they walked off the field and forfeited the games.” “I wish everyone could realize that it is possible for a person to be a loser in a contest without be- ing a loser in Life,” the losingest coach in football says. ‘Then perhaps we could put sports in Some type of reasonable perspec- ive: es RA EARS FED OTT I I EEE mm ir aw AN SA PINSON AT OR IR BSS rT ARR poe HE EEE EEE as rT _ Wednesday, November 16, 1988-KINGS MOUNTAIN HERALD-Page 11A Dilling Still ‘Owns’ Lanes ing team bowled 300 or better, John Dilling “owns” Dilling losers with a 137 line and 369 Heating’s bowling lanes.. literal. led by team captain Betty series. ly and figurately. Hullender with a 127 line and 354 Honk The veteran southpaw duckpin set. R.W. Hullender added a In Mixed League action Thurs- 130-336 and Ethel Tignor a 102-300. Wally Mocanu led the Ourpoors by AARON PASS Murphy Goes Deer Hunting **If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.” That statement and its variations, known as Murphy's Law, have touched our national para- noia and found instant favor. Following the Murphy lead, pessimists and cynics of all persuasions have compiled lists of bleak and fatalistic pro- nouncements which speak to those whose lives never turn out quite right. As that includes just about everyone, Murphy is famous and the photocopier companies are rich. Since fate displays its perverse and fickle nature so often in the hunting field, we have some Murphy-style philosophy for the busted-luck deer hunter. ® The best buck sign will be just out of sight of your permanent deer stand. If you use a portable stand, the best sign will be where you were last week. ® The best buck of the season will come from an area you scouted and rejected. ® Sighting-in always requires one more box of cartridges than you have. ® The last half-inch adjustment to perfectly align your scope will move the group 2Y2 inches. ® To determine the direction of the prevailing wind in a real buck hot- spot you've just discovered, go to the best spot for a stand and look in the direction of the best deer trail. That is the direction the pre- vailing wind blows. ® When meeting a friend to hunt his area, the map he has drawn will omit at least one major crossroad and a critical right turn. ® If you have spent all season figuring out a trophy bucks pattern and have chosen the ideal stand, he will be killed on doe day by a first- time hunter with a borrowed rifle from the stand you used at the beginning of the season. ® The chance of your hitting a 2-inch sapling at 100 yards is directly proportional to the size of the buck standing behind it. ® You will not have to ‘‘go,’ unless you have forgotten the toilet tissue. ® If you drop your rifle, the sights will not be knocked out of align- ment unless you are going to get a shot at the biggest buck you've ever seen the next morning. ® The squirrel that has played peacefully around your stand all morn- bowler continued his hot streak of the current season Tuesday night, bowling a 425 series to lead his team to three wins over Johnny Dye’s team. Dilling, whose average this season is approaching 130--which is almost unbelievable for duckpin bowling--had single games Tuesday of 146, 129 and 150. . Jack Barrett added a 124 line and 345 set to aid the Dilling vic- tory. Lib Gault had a 144 line and 362 set and Johnny Dye added a 113 line and 332 set for the losers. In other action Monday, Betty’s won three of four games from Wally’s. All three members of the winn- Fall Banquet November 28 The Kings Mountain High School Booster’s Club will be sponsoring the annual fall sports banquet November 28 at 6:30 p.m. at the KMHS cafeteria. The banquet wil honor athletes and cheerleaders in all the fall sports, including football, cross- country, girls tennis and girls volleyball. The KMHS volleyball and tennis teams won the Southwestern 3-A Conference championship while the cross- country runners finished third and the football team fifth. Tickets are $7 and may be pur- chased from Sandra Bumgard- ner at the high school office. Deadline for purchasing tickets is November 22. Kkk The Booster’s Club is selling Christmas fruit baskets to raise funds for the KMHS athletic pro- gram. To order, call Vickie Smith at First Citizens Bank (739-4576) or at her home (937-7336) or contact any member of the Booster’s Club. Prices are $12 and $16. Delivery dates will be December Turn To Page 14-A 8 and December 17. ing will panic and loudly scold you as deer approach. Regist 4 ® If you want to see deer, light a cigarette, eat your lunch or take a egisira on nap—they will appear as if by magic. If you want to see a buck, get into a situation from which you can’t possibly shoot. Underway ® When you've killed a decent buck and have a pretty good story to go with it, there will be a bigger deer and a bigger lie waiting back at camp. lil Aaron Pass has written hundreds of articles about hunting, fishing and camping for newspapers and magazines. Kings Mountain Parks and Recreation Department will begin youth basketball registra- tion Monday at the Kings Moun- tain Community Center. The program is open to all youngsters ages eight through 15. Parents are asked to register for their children between 8:30 a.m. and 7 p.m., Monday through Thursday and 8:30 a.m. until 4:30 p.m., on Fridays. Registration will continue through Fri., Nov. 25 £1988, PM Editorial Services HH QQ PHBH pH pH BH pH pH HHH OHH LINWOOD PRODUCE & RESTAURANT 805 CLEVELAND AVE. e 739-7308 HOH BHA BHO pH pH BH BH BH HHH HHH BN Fresh Cut North Carolina Fraser Fir CHRISTMAS TREES e SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26 e DHQHBHH BABA HH BH 4444 S444 444 e Wreaths © Roping ® Pecans Practice times will be an- nounced in area schools and in the Herald after registration is closed. Games will begin after Christmas. For more information, call the Kings Mountain Community Center at 734-0449. Pardo Wins Grid Contest Ann Pardo of Kings Mountain was last week’s winner of the Kings Mountain Herald’s football contest. Her winning entry had only two incorrect selections among the 20 games listed. An avid sports fan, she is a 1967 graduate of Kings Mountain High School and has been playing the Herald’s football contest for the past 4 years. | “This is the first time that I have won,” she said. Ms. Pardo likes Wake Forrest on the college level, the Seattle Seahawks in the pros, and, ‘of course Kings Mountain.” Last week was the final contest for this season. ® Fruits eo Apples ® Nuts # QA BH BH BASH BAH BH BH SHH SHH BH B44 MILLER & MILLER LITE $69.5, PARTY “LOWEST PRICE IN CHICKEN LIPS” GASE EAST KING SHEL 601 East King Street 739-4593 L & ARI
The Kings Mountain Herald (Kings Mountain, N.C.)
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Nov. 16, 1988, edition 1
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