Hot Off the Hoover … /
Sept. 1, 1943, edition 1 /
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"F A C JC S”
Well, I ain’t a-^ona» rite about no bees this time. They ain^t none a-swar.m.-:
no how, but Tom Fox got stung agin.
How did you all like the pitcher of all ‘the bosses last month? Did you all
ever see so many bosses in one gang before? Tne man that took the pitcher said ths.
he co-.ldent took a better one of the regler workin’ hands, cause they wouden't of
ben so many of 'em.
I reckin Mr. Tom Richards was the purtiest one in the hole gang, fur his pit
cher v;as on thar 2 tines. *>Duncie” said she thot Mr. George Hart was the purtiest -
un in the hole gang. I tole her she had better be kerful that llr* Hart was married
an* she said she furgot about that. An’ then she said that ''Doodle” Laughlin was
the purtiest. I tole her that ’’Doodle" was married too, an’ she said that his wife
was, but he wern’t, "Azzie" said that she diden’ think narin in the gang was much
hot on good looks. But she said that if she was-a-goin* to haf’ to take air one,
she v;ou’d Jest shet her iys an* say, "eny, meny, miney, mo,” an' then take a little
peep an’ if her finger was on l!r. Parker's er Tom Forney’s pitcher, she would shet
them rite kwick an* start over agin.
Bert Brackett wanted to no v/hat hit ment to hole up too fingers. He said hit
looked sorta’ silly to him,
Johnie Elmore said that hit ’minded hirn of away back yonder in skool days when
you had to hole up yore hand to be eggsloized.
"Masa” Cloninger of the array was the one that axed fur the pitcher of all the
bosses, I tho't hit was plum tho’ty of him, and if eny of you fellers can think of
enything er enybody that you wou’d like to have on the frunt of the ”Huver Rail,"
jest say so an’ they will try to git hit fur you,
Vfell, I am a-gona’ tell you fellers of sum "facks” that has happened in the
past. The first one is the time that Charlie Wease stepped on li/Iiss Effie’s little
kittens head an’ mashed hit's brains an* little eyes out. Charlie'knowed that l^ss
Effie'was "cranky" about her cats, so he run over to her an’ said, "tee hee. Miss
Effie, I am sorry that I stepped on yore kitten’s tail,"
Then, thar was the time that Henry Cloninger was up on Maple Creek, an’ he
come up on a muddy lake out in the bottom an’ he saw sum ole hard shell tarapins
in the age of the water, so he tho’t of a idy. He knowed that Ruff Jeffries kep’
in a hole lot of fish baskets in the river, so he tole Ruff about the lake an’
that iiu' v/ou’d bst that hit v/as plum full of suckers, so Ruff got Jakie Fortenberry
to he’p him tote the big basket an’ bait about four miles to the sucker lake. They
put the basket in an’ come on back home, Henry tole Ruff to leave the basket in
about three days, an’ all them tnree days Ruff balked about puttin’ on a fish fry.
•When the three days was up Rui'f an’ Jakie v;ent to git the fish, Henry tole them he
wou’d have the fire made an’ the pans on. Vvhen Ruff an’ Jakie got to the lake, Ruff
grabbed a-hole of the rope that v/as a-holdin’ the basket an’ he couden buge hit.
He tole Jakie to he’p him, an’ when they got the basket out, Ruff an’ Jakie both
said they hoped to die if they diden’ have 55 tarapins an’ they was too suckers,
Ruff c.n’ Jakie,"
The tuther day Uncle Grayson Champion was a~havin’ sura of his teeth pulled
an’ hit was a~huri;in' so bad that he tole Dock Edwards that he was a-gona’ git
"Slim" Herney to take him to git sumpthin’ bo rub on his jaw. Uncle Grayson’s
little gran-son axed him what he was a-gona’ git to rub on his jaw, an’ he said
he was a~goin’ an’ git sum snake oil to put on hit, so "Slim" an’ Uncle Grayson
lit out fur the hills an’ "lov/ an’ behole" in' about a hour they come back into
town with a three foot rattle snake, "Slim" said he killed hit with Uncle Grayson’s
walkin’ stick an* they got w hat they went after, but I don’t no whether Uncle Gray
son pjit hit on the outs.lde of the jaw er on the inside.
(Cont'd on next page)
Hot Off the Hoover Rail
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