Newspapers / The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.) / June 26, 1841, edition 1 / Page 2
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Foil the Rasp. -I am happy to learn that our fellow townsman, Mr. James B.Shepard, lias been selected as the person to deliver the first Address, before the Raleigh Mechanic's Association. This Insti tution for the protection of Labor, and rightsyof Mechanics, has long been in contemplation, but until recently has "the consummation so devoutly to be wished for, been achieved. In vain masuch authors as Kater, Grier and Lard ner, be consulted to- depict the multifarious advantages which must result from the formation of such So cieties Treaties have been written, Essays have been published, Theories fulminated, and practical deductions elucidated, but still there is an apathy in that brotherhood, unless eagerly arrested, that must, lead to the des truction of mechanical ingenuity, or so to paralyzejyir exertions as to ren der the honest ancVindustrious, sub servient to those, whose craven appe tites, suck all the advantages of good government. It is not for me to make landmarks by which Mr. Shepard shall be guid ed, and if I, even understood, the en lightened precepts of the authors a bove mentioned, I would not arrogate to myself the prerogative, to ofTer a suggestion to one so much my supe rior in point of ability, versatility of talent, ripeness of judgment and sound sense. A MECHANIC. lMy Mother learned mejto work." Such was the remark of one of our Boston matrons, who had graced the first circle of society, whose husband was? reputed to be rich, but who in the great commercial pressure of '37 had, in common with many others of -his class, all the profits of years swept away. My mother learned me to work" and her face look as happy in her cheap lodgings, as ever it did when surrounded by the parapherna lia of luxury and pride. Such a wife is a treasure; but what would she have been, had not her mother learn ed her to work? Boston Times. Mr. Times, we hate to tell you;- but if we must, why, she would have been a dead w(e)ight.- Rasp. My.gun went off last night,' said Tim Trap lately to an old acquain tance. Were you alarmed?' asked he. . No, but much injured,' replied TrapJ Ah! how did it go off, at half cock?' No,' said Trap, it went off at half-past eleven, in company with a tarnation scoundrel who begged for supper, and a nights' lodging.' A Scotchman giving evidenceatthe bar of the House of Lords, in the af fair of Captain Porteus and telling of the variety of shots which w fired upon that unhappy occasion, was ask ed by the Duke of New Castle, what kind of shot it was? 'Why,' aid the man in his broad dialect, sic as they shoot fools (fowls) wi', an' the like.' 6 What kind of fools? asked the Duke smiling at the word 'Why, my lord, dukes ducks an' sic kin o' fools.' Sir Peter Parker called Cudjo a black fellow, a pilot who was sound ing the depth of the water 'Cudjo!' says he, '.what water have you got there?' Vhat water! what water, massa? why salt water, to be sure! sea water always salt water, an't he liiassa?' You black rascal! I knew it was 'salt water, only wanted to know how much water ybu have there?' How much water here massa! how much water here? God bleSs me, mas sa! where I going to get quart pot for measure him!' This was right down impudence; and Cudjo richly deserved a rope's end for it, but, Sir Peter, a good na tured man, was so tickled with the idea of measuring the Atlantic Ocean with a quart pot! that he broke irito a hearty laugh, and ordered Cudjo a stiff drink of grog." A Gentleman was inquiring for a young lady of his acquaintance. She is dead,' very gravely replied the per son to whom he addressed his inqui ries. Good God! I never heard of it what was her disease?' 'Vanity,' returned the other; 'she buried herself alive in the arms of an old fellow of seventy, with a fortune, in order to have the satisfaction of a gilded tomb. new, definiti6ns. Justice. Something not a bit cold er than ice. Fine Gentleman. A fellow, attach ed to a steel cane, gilt chain without a watch, and a long list of unpaid debts. He may be told by a hauteur of expression, and a. superfluity of hair on his cheek, to make up Jor an inan ition of sense. CrediL: A gtreak of lightniDg with a black spirit striding over .it; a tiger with a tin cup tied to its tail. Love. A favorite commodity at the Quarter Sessions. -f Washerwoman. One as has ac cording to Sam Weller, a mortal awersion to waslun' clothes. Statesmanship. Making a speech three days lorn on the election of Door-keeper. How Men slwuld treat women. A Persian poet gives the following in struction upon thi3 important point. When thou art married, seek to please thy wife; but listen not to all she says. From man's right side a rib was taken to form the woman, and never was there seen a rib quite straight. And wouldst thou straight en it? It breaks,buc bends not. Since, then, 'tis plain that crooked is wo man's temper, forgive her faults, and blame her not, nor anger thee, nor coercion use, as all is vain to straight en what is curved. John Bunyan. While in Bedford jail, he was called upon by a Quaker, desirous of making a convert of him. 'Friend John,' said he, l am come to thee with a message from the Lord; and after having searched for thee in half of the prisons in England, I am glad I have found thee at last.' If the Lord had sent you' replied Bunyan. you need not have taken so much pains to find me oiit; for the Lord knows I have been here these twelve years. Tight. In the good old blue-iaw times in Connecticut, the girls were in the habit of tying their hair so tight on the back of their heads, that it en tirely prevented them from shutting their eyes or mouths, even if they ever felt inclined so to do. The con sequence was that their lovers were compelled to untie the string before they could kiss them. Tighter. We were informed last summer in Philadelphia, that some of the ladies in that city were in the hab it of hooking their frocks so tight behind, that they, were obliged to loosen them before they could sneeze, or run the risk of breaking off lots of hooks and eyes! . Tightest. A Boston paper men tions an instance of a dandy there who straped his pantaloons down over his boots so tight, that when he raised his foot to step he could not get it down again, but was obliged to stand on one Jeg like a goose,until the strap rr v was laKcu on. Small Mistake. A fellow who was a little nervous and violently addicted to the chewing of pigtail, chanced to be left alone foru minute, in a dark room. Whitchis companion was ab sent, he drew from his pocket the delicious twist for the purpose of taking a hearty nip thereof. But catching his forefinger between his teeth instead of the weed, continued to bite.it, yelling with auguish as well as could be expected. This soon gathered around him several individ uals, who asked him what was the matter,when taking hiseeply indent ed finger from his mouth, he exefaim ed that some d- d scoundrel in the dark had Veen trying to bite his fin ger off. Value of married men. "A little more animation my dear," whispered Lady B. to the gentle Susan, who was walking languidly through a quadrille. Leave me to manage my own busi ness madam, replied tbeprovident nymph, I shall not dance my ringlets out of curl for a married man.' Of course not, my love: but I was not aware who your partner was.' My dear, you.are.not the woman I took you to be.' 'But my dear, you are the inan I took you to be. Go, and rock that child this minute, or I'll . Jl Lunatic. The editor of the Vicksburg Whig requests, the person who took an umbrella from his office to return it. Return an umbrella! the idea's preposterous. Rats are said to be so plenty hi the streets of New Orleans that the la dies are frequently under' the neces sity of yielding them the side-walks. The ladies of Lynnfield have form ed an 'Anti-carrying-a-squallirrg-ba-by-to-church-society.? We think a branch hi this city would be produc tive of very beneficial results. A shop keeper in New York, some time since, stuck upon his door the following laconic advertisement "A boy wanted.19 On going to his shop the next morning, he beheld a smiling little urchin in a basket with the fol lowing pithy label: "Here he is." "That's inviting," as the cat said tor the rat ven she peeped at him thro' the vie of theVrap. Jl New Piano! T HAVE just finished another new FIANO, which for sweetness of tone, and mechanical workmanship, is decidedly superior to any I have made. The ladies of Raleigh, and the adjacent country, are respectfully invited to call and see it, at my old stand. WESLEY WHITAKER. i Raleigh, June 26. 22,
The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.)
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June 26, 1841, edition 1
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