Newspapers / The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.) / March 12, 1842, edition 1 / Page 1
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r 1 : M W. & J. B. WHITAKER, EDITORS AND PROPRIETORS. VOLUME II NUMBER 7. RALEIGH, MARCH 12, 1842. single copt ,3 "WE COME, THE HERALD OF A JYOISV WORLD." five cxhtb. TERMS. " The Rasp is published every Saturday morn ing, at One Dollar and Fifty Cents per annum, payable in advance. Any person sending ussixnew subscri bers, and the subscription money for one year shall receive the seventh number free ot charge for the same length ot time. Advertisements conspicuously inserted, at the very reduced price of Fifty Cents persquare for the first insertion, and Twenty-five Cents for each continuance. For the Rasp. Rockv Branch, 'March 2, 1842. $ Mr. Rasp: I somehow or other have taken it into my head, that you would like to hear how the folks come on in our part of the coun try. You know that the stieam I live on, is a tremendous stream, down which immense quantities of water flow; but, owing to the oc casional shallow and falls, steamboats and o ther vessels of large dimensions are debared the privilege of coming up, but ii would do you good to see the little boys with their fishing polls, hauling out the little minnows. I aint much csed to writing letters, no how; but when I see the great work that is carried on in these diggins, I cant just help writing a leetle bit. Now you see there was one of them tall sort of large boys called on me 'tother day, and I guess he thought he could come it over Uncle Hal, but the way he was sucked in, was a caution to tadpoles. Who do you think it was? Why, it was the president of all tee totalists. Says he to me, now, says he, Uncle Hal, (for you know all the big folks call me by this title,) I know you to be a man ot sense, and you are always on the side of sense and honor, but how happens it you don't just join our society? We are in need of just such men as you are, not that I consider you by no means a swell head loafer! or any such sort, but for the good effects it would have upon others. I know, says be, that you are a man of conse quence, and I knowthat your influence is great, and when you know all this, I am surprised that you havfc not already joined us. Ah,says I, you need'nt tell this chap of his influence, and all that sort of thing, for he's one of them sort thai knows all about himself, and can hear the news of his fame from the jaws of the wa ter works bull frog, and re-echoed back from the hills of crab tree! I know, says I, that were I to join, the very frogs would have a ball in commemoration of the event; but stepping back and placing my thumb on the end of my nose with great sang froid, says I, do you see any thing superabundantly green, ha? Ah, says he, you are a tail 'un, Uncle Hal, but I cant do any thing with you. Good morning, says I, friend presiding and off he wired. There was a great ball in our diggins not long since, the fame ot which may not have reached you. I was sitting peaceably enjoy ing my mild havanna, when somebody gently touched me on the shoulder, 'Uncle Hal, a word with you.' Says I, you are not a deputy of green bags, are youlfor I dont like this way of slapping a fellow on the shoulder, no how, for its too much like saying you're my prison er; but finding that he was not of that fraterni ty ,1 vent with him peaceably,and when he had got out of doors, says he, dont you want to go to a ball? Now it was foolish to ask me such a question, for they might have known I'd said yes, and off we posted. The day had been quite rainy, and the water and mud in the road was enough to turn a tadpole sick. Splash ! went the water at every step. Says he, Uncle Hal come over this way, your eyes are not very good. We had by this time not only got with in sight, but we were in hearing of the mello dious sounds ot the violin, and when we arri ved at the door, found four couple on the floor, and from that master hand, D. P. whosa skill needs only to be, heard to be applauded,) was eminating that most beautiful of all waltzes 'Chicken in the bread tray.' I stepped in and was about to seat myself, v hen an alfired pret ty miss caught me by the hand and said,Uncle Hall, I charter you for the next sett. Now I didnt like this way of chartering without some thing being given in exchange, so, says I,what do you think the chartering of me is worth?and as 'fair play's a jewel,' I think had better close the bargain agreeable to both parties. I tell you, said she, I charter you for the nest sett. And without more ado (not wishing to have my arm jirked off) 1 promised compli ance. The first sett having concluded, ray time come on. Thinks I, what am I to do? but there was no time for thinking, for the voice of Big Head bellowed forth, 'fiddler, play jump up Jo.' So at it we went; but the astonish ment depicted on my countenance at the won derful feats of agility, threw me completely off mv guard, and I was forced to vociforate, 'go it Big Head! the back step. Big Head ! wire Big Head! whoop! whoop!' and gatheiing up my hat, I was soon on ny way home. i our?, tec. UNCLE HAL. REFORMED DRUNKARD'S EXPERI ENCE. The following anecdote,rtlated by a reform ed inebriate at a temperance myelin:;, is copied from the Hartford Patriot and Eagle : "I used to get chunk and my Wife used to jaw me about it. ' What do you get drunk for ?' said she. ' What do you jaw me for V said I. So we agreed and made a firm bargain that I would not drink, and that she should net scold. For three long days we held firm no drinking nor scolding. But on the third even ing, being in company with some good fellows I took a horn, and hen that was down I right off wanted another. And in a very short time 1 found myself about how fare ye, with twenty horns safe and snugly in my bread basket. By and by it get to be time to go home, but as you may well suppose, I dreaded to meet my wife like the tooth-ache. However, go I triuU and so I staggered along, hopeing to find my wife abed. When I reached the houae, I found it still lighted, and through the window I saw my wife up and waiting for sie. Thinks I, I can't go in vet, but f must, wait till she sets to bed. So there I stood half freezing in the cold ram for two hours. At last she went to bed. I crept in at the back door, stumbling oyer pails and chairs, bt fir.aily succeeded in get tins to bed without disturbing her. But alter dozing awhile, I awoke and found myself dry as a fish. You know, brethren, how dry we all used to be in the nigh; r , ' :r we'd had a spree. My wife always knev what was the matter with me when I got i.i the night to drink cold water. I hardly dared to get up for fear of my wife, but my tnirst was greater than I could bear. So out I crawled, and groped very softly after the water pail. But no water was there. I then felt round in the dark, on the tables and shelves, for something to cool my burning throat. Soon I found a tin pan full of a liquid something. I seized and put it to my mouth and took a long and hearty .draught, the liquor at the same time running out at each side of my mouth'down my cheeks. I thought the liquor tasted odd, and at that ins ant it flashed on my recollection that I had fixed some poison a few days before to kill the rats with. Horrorstruck I stood, my hair standing on end. t was death to scream out, for my wife would jaw me if she waked. And surely it would be death to hold still. But stream I must, and scream I did. 1 What was in this pan ?" ' You're dry, are you V said she. 'What was in this pan ?' shouted I still louder. What makes you dry,' screamed she. ( WHAT WAS IN THE PAN?' yelled I, in a perfect agony of fear, ' What pan?' ' Why the pan on the shelf.' 1 Oh, you brute, you;ve drinked up all my starch!' Next morning, my shirt collar was pasted to my neck and cheeks, and it took me half an hour to cleave it off.' Disgraceful. In the Ohio Legislature on the 22d ult. a petition for divorce was present ed, when a Mr. Byington inquired if it would be i . order to move that xhe petition be sent to HELL ! Mr. Mc Fully moved that the gen tleman from Pike be appointed the special messenger for its despatch. Politesse Militaire. At a Miliary Ball, the g-entlemen all officers of course General such a one Colonel such a one Major such a one, and so forth and so were marvellously polite. For example : Gen. B. 'Ah, my dear Colonel.how do you do?' (shaking his hand untill the epaulets on all four of their shoulders shook lively) 'Come,' (stepping up to the table) 'let us wine.' Col. X. 'Thank you, thank ycu General , I have just wound. :'ate Prenologisl. A resolution has been iL;.-oducedinto the Legislature of Indiana to employ a Prenologisl to examine the heads of the Governors, Fund Commissioners and o thers who have had charge of the finances of that State, to discover who of thera is the Greatest 'Financier.' Character of a Sot. He is like a statue placed in mcict air, all the lineaments of hu manity arc mouldered away, and there is no thing iefi of him but the rude lump of the shape cf a man. He has drowned himse!f,as it were, in a butt of wine. He has swallowed his hu manity and drack himself into a beast. He is like a spring tide, when he is drunk to water mark he swells and looks big, and overflows every thing that stands in his way. But when the drink within him is at ebb,he shrinks with, in his banks, and falls so low and shallow that cattle may pass over him. A Dear Joke. An old physician ence said to a young man who had just completed his medical studies andcommenced practice,'There sir, you see now that dog's tail curls,' pointing to a large dog, 'now sir, I want you to straight en that dog's tail, and I will give you credit for a greater knowledge in surgery than I think you now possess.' The young man pro ceeded immediately to straighten the dog's tail, .and placed it between strong splinters ;tnd bandages. He visited his patient every day, snd put on new splinte'rs and bandages. On the ninth dav he called, but the dog could not be found ; wherefore he concluded he had 'straightened his tail,' and brought in his bill for nine visits, $90. The old doctor refused to pay it, but a suit was brought, and the a- mount charged was recovered. American Mechanic. A Slip between the Cup and the Lip. A young couple lately wen: some thirty or forty miles, in a steam car,for the purpose of having the marriage ceremony performed. After the knot was tied, and the young and blushing bride had taken her seat in the returning car, and while the groom was settling some ar rangements necessary at the moment, the bell gave three taps, the steam a whistle and slow ly started the train. The groom ran cried fre, murder, matrimony; but all in vain. The inexorable engineer, not having the fear of matrimony before his eyes, the whole con cern, moved and instigated by the ptwer of steam, after a few puffs of hesitation, was off, at the rate of some twenty miles to the hour, without any proper respect to the scripture ad monition that man and ovife shall not be part ed. We see by a late English paper Jthat a cel ebrated Irish weaver is about to present to Prince Albert, a pair of trowsers without seam or sewing. A most unseemly gift, and inap propriate they should by right be presented to Victoria. She wears the crown. We notice in a paper the marriage of Mr. James Plank to Miss Rebecca Playne. ' If that plank don't get the rough edges playned off we are no judge of human 'natur.' Electioneering in Arkansas. The follow ing communication is copied from the Arkan sas Gazette : Feller citizens I am a candidate for thecounci5. NB. Tailoring done at Mr. Saunders'. Little Rock, Jan. 1st, 1842. THE PLEDGE. What h is it done? It has saved many from moral cogradation. It has reclaimed many who were deep in sin and brutalized in nature and sunk down to the common nature of brutes. It is the only safe guard for the, moderate drink er, he has something to rely upon and sustain him in his good work. We know of many who were what are called moderate drinkers, they knew that their course was leading them on t6 destruction, and they made resolution to stop at once; but as soon as they were asked to drink they could not refuse, they turned trai tors to themselves and thought that none knew of it they had nothing but their own resolu tion to throw themselves on, and they had not sufficient moral courage to refuse. Some of the very same persons signed the pledge, and now, when asked to drink, they can throw themselves on that Pledge and answer, 'I be long to the Temperance Society,' this settles thefquestion at once, and they are no longer urged to drink. Thus much has the pledge done. To show how much more it has done, we will ralate one case in many that has been told to us. This is the case of a reformed ine1 briated in this place he joined our Society last fall, and is now a good citizen; he said that for ten years he never put up any pork in his family, because he had not the means; this win ter he put up about 800 lbs. and he says that many times he went home, found his family without the most common necessaries of life, not even a crust of bread, now his family are well provided for, his children well clolhedj and going to school, and his family enjoy more happiness than they ever did. This much has the pledge done for one man, and it has even done greater wonders for others. Marietta Wathingtoniaru We have seen persons in the course of our life, who were so afraid that posterity would never hear of them or that the generation, living would not know them that they would have esteemed it a singular favor to be horse whipped by a gentleman, in the hope of there by attracting some attention ! Whenever this feeling has manifested itself, it was to our minds a sure indication that the subject of it was conscious of some radical deficiency in himself. We do not recollect ever to have heard a truly worthy man complain that others had failed to appreciate his talents, or properly to acknowledge his services. Wise Observation. No man resents the barking of a dog. Dogs and fools cannot insutf you.
The Rasp. (Raleigh, N.C.)
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March 12, 1842, edition 1
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