Newspapers / Daily Tar Heel (Chapel … / June 11, 1987, edition 1 / Page 13
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The Tar HeelThursday, June 11, 198713 unrelenting, horrifying and deadly mutant snake." "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" is the name of it, and it stars Ronn Moss as the Warren Beatty lookalike who goes over to Molokai island with four Playboy Playmates and fires off a bunch of bazookas and tries to escape the bite of a great rubber snake that makes a noise like an asthmatic groundhog. This may be the single greatest special effect since the giant rubber lizard in "The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms," but I know what you're thinkin', and DESPITE the dozens of bare bazoomas flopped onscreen for no reason, the snake does NOT bite any Playmate flesh. Plot: Diamond smugglers try to kill, torture and maim Playboy Playmates who are undercover agents for the DEA, but most of the time the agents are under cover. Twenty-six breasts. Twelve dead bodies. One dead blow-up party doll. One deadly commode dwelling giant mutant snake. Killer attack Frisbee. Shortest motor vehicle chase in movie history. Gratuitous sumo wres tling. Kung Fu. Bazooka Fu. Jiggle Fu. Harpoon Fu. Drive-in Academy Award nominations for Dona Speir, who has the two most enormous talents seen on the screen since Andy's LAST movie; Hope Marie Carlton, for getting the Warren Beatty lookalike to say WI don't want to control your life all I want to do is suck the polish right off your toes"; Andy, for writing lines like "Let's hit the Jacuzzi! I do my best thinking there!" and "Taryn, you have a 'Malibu Express' poster hanging over your bed!" and "One Man's dream is another man's lunch" and "No, you took the WRONG snake; that snake was infected with deadly toxins by cancer-infested rats" and for putting himself in the movie in one scene so he can stare at a waitress's chest and say "111 have a pair of coffee"; and Arlene Sidaris, the producer, for marry ing Andy. Three stars. Joe Bob says check it out. Copyright 1987 Universal Press Syndicate , American Heart Association WERE FIGHTING FOR VOURLIFE SI ELLIOT ROAD E. FRANKLIN 967-4737 I $2.50UNTL 6 PM DAILYALL DAY TUES.(EXC. HOLIDAYS) (gees ega Distributed by BUENA VISTA PICTURES DISTRIBUTION 1987 TOUCHSTONE PICTURES TODAY AT 3:10 o 5:10 7:05 o 9:00 FRI 6 SAT AT 5:30 o 9:30 ONLY STAY AND SEE "ERNEST GOES TO CAMP" AT9-.30FREEU mm m ii ME .IA1IN J1E1MMI s. tliill WiMiii-lYirtiiYiiWV ..A. A-.-A-JI.-.-,. SiS'lllllliiliniEli'lIBM aiB'iiHnianiiiai eudi PG' PMEKTN. GIHDANCE SUGGESTED J DTll POLBvsraEO ffifj SOME MATERIAL NMT MOT BE SUrTASLE PC CMHJWCnI iUIIillliraillPUlD DIM IlifH IIOkflfPIDilPll t. selected taires , IN II It. HI IT rtn ' 1 1 s I fii I full if! I Mil linMI! I Hi I In I I III lU HI) COtUMBi WCTUWt S WOUSTWt S MC AU RIGHTS RCSiftvEO PfictMW Last Day PLATOON R 9:15 ONLY THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE 2:30 4:00 ONLY AXEL FOLEY IS BACK BACK WHERE HE DOESNT BELONG EDDIE (iiURPHY BIEnERLYJ-UJ-LS THE HEATS BACK ON! R -m - j , f2 l TODAY AT 2:45 o 5:00 o 7:20 o 9:40 FRIDAY AT 2:45 o 5:00 o 7:05 o9:20 ' W y-y- 1 J I -y- f s, Nothing like it has ever i been tn Earth cetore. H ItcameforthatrlU H 1 of the hast It cicked the wren? Mfr.frtoa luiMf ::;::::::v:-:v:;:::: ..........-.....-. . i J --- - been cn Earth cstore. " i v i" niMii ,ihm j im iii mii ir ninr j ilium in n nn f1"'" y iiiiHiiiiiliiiailiilitW 0(J)C (3(1) (2)0 G)Q w .... ...4.... Mie?2!?-nss IBSit ItE6yUUtEN6A6EMENTSTARTS FHIDAYJUNEI9 AT SELECTED THEATRES. I 3,-00 0-5:0 o 7:25 o 910
Daily Tar Heel (Chapel Hill, N.C.)
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June 11, 1987, edition 1
13
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